Hearts Like Ours

Harry had never taken the time to consider how many rounds of laser tag played consecutively would be too many, but after the fourth round, it seemed everyone agreed it was approximately that number. Harry slumped down on a chair beside Jaclyn, who was biting into a piece of pizza. Cam was on her other side, telling some dramatic story about Tanner at a party, gesturing animatedly as he spoke.

Charlie and Allison were engaged in a heated match of air hockey in the arcade. They seemed to be enjoying themselves, Charlie laughing as she moved her mallet back and forth in an attempt to block Allison’s shot to the goal. She failed miserably and Allison threw her arms up in triumph.

He had the feeling Charlie was avoiding him, though if it was conscious or not, he couldn’t tell. They’d had little to do with one another since their moment in the first round of laser tag, only interacting when one crossed the other’s path and an easy shot could be taken.

His gaze lingered on her back as she set the puck back in place on the table and hit it in Allison’s direction. Allison was quicker, blocking the shot easily. It seemed Charlie’s tactic was getting by on pure luck whereas Allison was obviously more skilled. Still, it seemed she was enjoying herself.

“Are you going to go talk to her or...?”

Cam’s voice shook him from his thoughts. He turned to look at the boy sitting opposite him. Jaclyn was still working on her piece of pizza, but her eyes flickered in his direction when Cam spoke. A moment later she was standing, excusing herself from the table in favor of joining a conversation between Olivia, who had engaged Brett in a conversation at the front desk.

“Talk to her about what?” Harry asked, though he knew exactly what Cam was referring to. Cam sighed in response before taking a dramatic sip from his cup of water.

“Can’t very well make any progress by staring at her back, can you?”

“I’m not sure what kind of progress I’m trying to make,” he responded. Cam half-smiled at that.

“It’s painfully obvious you’re attracted to her, and I know Charlie well enough to tell she’s into you, too. She’s just usure how to go about it. You intimidate her.”

“She intimdates me,” Harry confessed with a sigh, letting his back fall against the plastic of the chair. He ran a hand through his hair, defeated.

“I don’t think she knows what she’s doing, honestly,” Cam said with a chuckle. “The more reasonable side of her is arguing that she just met you a week ago, only really got to know you in the past twenty-four hours. The other half is arguing that she doesn’t care. I’ve never seen her so torn.”

Harry bit down on his lip as he listened to Cam. He still wasn’t so convinced that Charlie held any sort of romantic interest in him so early in their budding relationship, but then he remembered the look in her eyes just before they closed, their lips drawing nearer and nearer in the heat of a moment.

But maybe that’s just what it was for her. A moment.

Despite Cam’s good intentions, he wasn’t doing much to help. Harry only felt himself growing more and more frustrated with the situation he found himself in.

“This has never happened to me before, honestly,” Harry sighed a moment later. Cam raised his brows as he leaned forward on his elbows, interested in what he had to say. Without meeting Cam’s eyes, he tried to figure out just what it was he was going to say.

“I don’t know what I’m doing or what I’m after with her. I feel like an idiot all the time when I’m around her because I can’t figure it out. She’s so guarded, but genuine. She’s reluctant to let me in, but tries anyway. I didn’t come here expecting that. I guess I figured we’d meet and we’d each know about the other, and that would be it. Maybe we’d keep in touch, I don’t know, but this feels different than what I expected. I didn’t think I’d become so invested,” he admitted quietly.

“You were invested to begin with,” Cam pointed out.

“Yeah, but I didn’t know that when I got here. I was in denial about it. It sounds so stupid when you say it out loud. I met her in person a week ago, only really had the chance to spend time with her starting yesterday, and now...” he trailed off, knowing there was a multitude of ways to end his sentence, but unsure of which he would choose.

“You can admit you’re attracted to her. It’s a thing that happens, even before you truly get to know a person. She’s not bad to look at, is she?”

Harry broke into a smile, reluctantly looking over to where Charlie was bent over the air hockey table, tongue between her teeth as she concentrated on hitting the puck in the right direction.

“You just did it all backwards, is all. You got to know her before you met her. It’s not weird that you’re interested in her. And after spending so much time with you in the past twenty-four hours, it’s possible she’s just as confused about you.”

Harry nodded absently in response. He was too busy watching Charlie pretend to punch Allison in the face, both girls in a fit of giggles as the game turned off, Allison obviously the victor. They were headed over to a Skee Ball game, arms thrown around each other like best friends again. Charlie tucked a strand of hair behind her ear as she openly laughed at some taunting remark Allison had made.

“Go talk to her,” Cam urged.

He wasn’t sure what exactly prompted him out of his seat. Maybe he was desperate to believe she felt even the smallest bit of attraction to him, or perhaps it was the confident way in which Cam had spoken about her, but he was surprised to find himself moving in the direction of the two girls as they battled over their last quarter for who could play the game.

“Take the damn quarter. It’s your birthday,” Charlie huffed, passing the coin into Allison’s hand.

“I don’t want it. You need it to help inflate your bruised ego after the beating you just took in that air hockey match,” Allison shot back, firmly pressing the quarter back into Charlie’s grasp. She looked up, noticing Harry’s presence. Charlie paused for a moment, glancing over her shoulder at him. Turning back to Allison for further argument, she realized her friend had disappeared, taking up residence at the table Harry had just vacated.

Sighing, she muttered something unintelligable beneath her breath before facing him again. With a shy smile, she held up the coin.

“Wanna play?”

“I’m fine. I’ll just watch.”

“We can take turns,” she suggested, pushing the coin into the slot. A moment later, six palm-sized balls were released into a compartment within an arm’s reach. He stepped aside to let her grab one, watching as she squinted one eye and tilted her head to the side, pulling her arm back before releasing the ball forward in a motion much like bowling. It landed in the twenty point spot and she frowned before moving to the left to allow Harry acess. A moment later, his ball landed in the forty spot. He grinned as she stuck her tongue out at him, picking up another ball. This one landed in the thirty point hole.

They continued on like this in silence. Charlie seemed at ease, openly laughing anytime he failed to meet his goal. It was such a comfortable space they were in that he hated to interrupt it. Perhaps he wouldn’t have if their brief moment of reprieve hadn’t ended so quickly, Charlie winning by ten points. He’d intentionally missed a few, but didn’t bother to let her in on his secret, pleased with the obvious pride with which she won.

He watched her as she slid up to sit on the lane they’d just been playing on, drumming her fingers on the machine as she waited for it to spit out the appropriate amount of tickets. She was avoiding looking at him and he felt trapped into bringing up the subject, if only to alleviate some of the awkward tension in the air.

“Listen...”

“About earlier...”

They’d both begun at the same time and his words came to a hault immediately following the blush that crept to her face. She was fiddling with her hair, self-consciously moving it over one shoulder before slowly looking up beneath her lashes. It was all Harry could do to not try to kiss her again right then and there just from that simple, innocent motion. She held up an arm to encourage him to continue, but he shook his head in response. Biting down on her lip, she sucked in a breath to speak.

“I don’t want anything to be weird,” she began tentatively, eyes scanning his face for a reaction. It was to no avail; he’d resolved himself to hear her through completely, the only expression available for her to read was one of his intent concentration on her every word.

“I was caught up in the moment, and I apologize. It’s probably best if we both just pretend it never happened and just move on...”

Her voice was quiet as she spoke, yet firm. He tried to read her eyes, curious as to whether this was something she really wanted, or if she was just desperate to avoid the awkwardness of it all. Regardless, he bit his tongue. Clearing his throat, he nodded his head.

“I agree,” he said. She smiled at him as she leaned over and plucked the tickets from the game. She stood a moment later, reaching a hand up to scratch at her shoulder.

“Where to next?”

-

Charlie collapsed backward on her bed, exhaustion taking over. It was 4 AM and after a twenty-minute ride of ceaseless begging, she finally agreed to allow Cam to stay at her place for the night rather than drive back to his apartment across town in exhaustion.

They had dropped Harry off only fifteen minutes prior, Charlie wishing him a quiet good night before he disappeared into the hotel lobby. Sitting in the passenger seat, she refused to meet Cam’s gaze as he sat there for a good five minutes, determinedly staring at her. He had given up eventually, turning on the truck and navigating back to her apartment building, but it seemed it was only a momentary break. Despite having turned off all the lights and crawling beneath the covers, Cam’s voice drifted to her from where he lay on the couch in her loft, a mere seven feet away.

“So are you going to give Harry a chance or...?”

Charlie sighed exasperatedly. “What are you on about?”

“Just his obvious attraction to you and your refusal to let anything happen. I don’t get it.”

Annoyed, she reached out an arm to flick on the lamp beside her. She propped her head up on her elbow as her eyes adjusted to the sudden change in lighting. Cam’s head poked up from the couch in surprise at the light that flooded the room. A moment later, he was situating himself into a sitting position to face her.

“There’s nothing to get. Nothing is going on.”

“Bullshit.”

“Cam, I met him like, yesterday.”

“And despite that, you like him.”

She blinked at him, her expression wary. A moment later she held up a hand. “This is not a discussion I’m having with you right now. I need to sleep.”

“You’re evading the subject.”

“I’m going to bed.”

There was silence for a moment and Charlie took this as her cue to reach out and turn off the lamp. No longer had her head hit the pillow that Cam was talking again. She let out a low groan.

“He really likes you. I don’t know why you’re doing this.”

“He <i>does not</i> like me,” she argued.

“He does. I talked to him tonight,” he replied immediately.

Charlie was silent for a moment, chewing on her cheek as she processed this information. Her head felt lighter, though whether it was from the exhaustion or from what news Cam had just delivered, she couldn’t be sure. The sudden turning of her stomach suggested the latter. Still, she wasn’t about to give in.

“Maybe he thinks he does now, but it’s only because he’s here. He’ll leave, find something more exciting, and get over it.”

“I don’t think you give yourself enough credit, Charlie,” Cam responded. She could practically feel him rolling his eyes in the dark just from dry tone in his voice.

“No, Cam. I’m just not going to allow myself to indulge in the delusion that in any universe, I would ever be Harry Styles’ type.”

“Is that what this is about? You don’t think you’re good enough for him?”

It was all Charlie could do to keep from hurling a pillow in his general direction. In the darkness, she could make out his figure hunched sideways on her couch.

“Don’t turn this into something as simple as self-esteem issues. I mean, really think about it. We don’t even live on the same continent. It’s ridiculous to even consider letting anything happen between us. And besides that, it’s not like there’s a shortage of girls out there who would kill to be with him. I can’t compete with that.”

“And yet he’s in Seattle, pining after you.”

Charlie scoffed.

“He isn’t pining after me. He’s vaguely fascinated because I’m an anomaly in his life. I’m a temporary moment away from the usual tediousness of his schedule.”

“Why won’t you just admit that you like him, Charlie?” he groaned.

“Because it’s so much more complicated than that!” she snapped. “I’m not going to let myself get carried away in something that could never happen. I’m not going to get hurt over him.”

“Could you just stop analyzing it and take a moment to actually live your life, just this one time? He’s interested in you, you like him, so screw the rest. It’s not a marriage proposal, Charlie. I’m just saying you should at least have the opportunity to see where this is going. If you hold back your whole life, nothing of consequence will ever happen to you and you’ll be miserable forever. Just this once, stop thinking about it and let it happen.”

Charlie made no response, opting instead to turn over in her bed to face away from him. Even in the dark, she was afraid he’d sense the sadness that had washed over her from his last comment. It was true, of course, but it didn’t hurt any less to hear it. A flood of emotions were coursing through her, anger at his accusation, shame because she knew he was right, hurt at the fact that she felt as if there was no way she could win.

Her first instinct was to protect herself from any forseeable pain in the future, but even now she knew it was useless. She’d allowed Harry to get under her skin, shown him more of her than she should have if she wanted to back out.

Clenching her eyes shut in the dark, it was overwhelmingly apparent that she had already lost. Harry had charmed his way rather quickly into her heart and there was an ache there where he’d buried in to make a home. It was the hollowness she was sure to feel after his imminent departure that she feared the most.