Hearts Like Ours

Harry sat uncomfortably in his seat, his eyes following the countryside flying by outside his window. The sky was the typical downcast gray the UK had become famous for. The autumn air felt heavy with moisture in the few moments he had been in it before hopping onto the train.

On The Road had been finished in an astounding two days, a feat he was impressed with. He had moved on to The Fault In Our Stars and finished it even quicker due to its smaller density. The book had been more feminine than he was comfortable with, but allowed much insight into Charlie’s imagination. She was fond of books that incorporated travel and romance. He kept a mental list of what other parts of her personality he had discovered through these authors.

In his bag, lodged above his head in a compartment, a few more books were hidden among various articles of clothing and travel items. Her journal was among them and he could hear the narrative calling him, urging him to reach up and read on, but he was stubbornly fighting against it. He was less than pleased with her last entry and where it had taken her, though he knew he was less angry with her than with himself for being so irrationally upset. Harry had no claim to her and it was foolish of him to feel any attachment to a girl he’d never even met. He was acting childish, ignoring a book like it was the person who had written it, stupidly angry at a friend who had made a mistake a few months before. On top of that, who could Charlie be honest with if it wasn’t her own journal? Wasn’t it he who was infringing on her personal life? Did he have the right to even judge her for being so understandably upset at her situation, turning to alcohol and a frat boy to help her forget? Wasn’t he doing the same thing in the form of a book he’d found on the street?

Sighing in defeat, he stood and unzipped his bag, feeling blindly around until his fingers brushed against the soft leather of the journal. He pulled it out and slumped back into his seat, the battle lost. He flipped it open to the page where he had left off last.

Charlie sat up abruptly, scanning her surroundings. The bed was unfamiliar, as was the room it was contained in. Her clothes were laying in a heap on the floor and she stared down at them as if betrayed, her head pounding and her stomach turning in on itself. What the hell had happened the night before?

Ever so slowly, she let her bare feet softly hit the carpeted floor. As quickly as possible, she threw on her clothes and began to search the room for her shoes and bag. No such luck.

Charlie bit her lip, knowing what she had to do but loathing herself for it. She had never been the type to get raging drunk, let alone have a one night stand and wake up half naked in a bed she didn’t recognize. It had never happened to her before and she knew that if Allison were here, she’d congratulate her with a giggle on her first time walk of shame. Taking a deep breath, she reached for the doorknob and poked her head into uncharted territory.

A handsome brunette boy was sitting on a couch in a living space, watching a morning talk show and shoveling cereal into his mouth. He wore dark skinny jeans, red plaid, and boating shoes that reeked of upper class. It wasn’t Tanner, the last boy she remembered talking to, but this guy seemed harmless enough from where she stood. No longer had the thought crossed her mind that he turned his head, realizing her presence.

The boy stood, setting down his bowl of Frosted Flakes. “You’re awake,” he said, stating the obvious. Charlie nodded, offering a small smile, unsure of what the proper response to this entire encounter should be.

“I made you tea,” he told her, crossing the room to the small kitchenette area immediately to the left of where she stood, mere inches from the room she was regretting having left in the first place. Why hadn’t she just climbed out the window, calling a cab and putting up with the $35 cash she had in her jeans pocket? The shoes would have been a greater loss, they were comfortable and her favorite, but she would have survived. Anything was better than where she stood now, accepting a mug of green tea from a handsome faced boy she swore she’d never seen before in her life.

“You told me last night you prefer tea to coffee,” the boy explained upon her quizzical stare at the tea bag floating in the water. He made his way back to the couch, beckoning her to join him. She cautiously took a few steps, positive from the stories her friends had told that this wasn’t usually how mornings after one night stands went. Still, she humored him and slowly sunk down on the side of the couch opposite him. She watched him as he muted the TV, picked up his bowl of cereal, and turned to her as if expecting her to say something. The pressure of it all was too much and instead she found herself blurting the question she’d been repeating in her mind since her eyes flickered open.

“What the hell did I do last night?”

She immediately flushed scarlet afterward as the words hung in the air awkwardly between them. The boy stared blankly at her for a few moments before busting into a fit of laughter, which only made Charlie hate herself even more. She took a long sip of her tea, wishing to dive into it and drown.

“What is the last thing you remember?” he asked her once he’d calmed himself down.

Charlie didn’t feel particularly like answering this question after his reaction to hers. She felt awkward and embarrased, not to mention hungover beyond belief. All she wanted was to find her shoes and bag, but she was too polite to say so. Instead, she answered truthfully after a moment’s hesitation.

“I was dancing with my friend Allison. And there was this guy who was in the frat named Tanner, I think.”

The boy nodded, widening his eyes as if urging her to say more.

“And that’s it,” she snapped, moody from the alcohol she was still coming down from and the expectant gaze of the boy beside her. He sat his bowl down again, folding his hands on his lap as he considered this. It wasn’t much, she realized. She’d had a few drinks by the time she had finally located Allison on the dance floor after a couple of songs spent with Tanner. Allison had introduced her to the boy she was dancing with and they had all chatted for a while before getting more drinks and doing more dancing, but she didn’t remember anything after that.

“Well, for starters, my name is Cam,” the boy told her. “Tanner was worried about you after you lost one too many games of beer pong and called me to pick you up. Apparently you did him a favor by pretending to be the girlfriend he’s been lying about having for months now,” he explained.

Charlie nodded and took another sip of her tea. She set the mug down on the table in front of her slowly, trying to make sense of it all.

“So you picked me up, brought me here, and we...?” She let her voice trail off, what was left unsaid perhaps the most important part of the question. Again, Cam burst into laughter at her response. She was growing more and more irritated by the moment and, locating her shoes and bag in the corner, stood to grab them and leave.

“Charlie, I don’t think you understand,” he said, trying to halt her as she made her way to the door. “I’m sleeping with Tanner.”

She paused, her hand on the doorknob as Cam stood beside her, his hand gently placed on her wrist. This was a plot twist she had not foreseen and she felt even more humiliated than she had before.

“Look, I’m sorry. It’s just that I don’t like feeling stupid, and when I woke up with no memory of last night and you weren’t really helpful with it all, I got angry.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked.

“Talk about what?” she inquired.

“Talk about whatever happened to you that made you drink yourself into oblivion.”

“Not particularly,” she responded, sourly. He let his hand drop from her wrist and it was then that she realized how rude she was still being. She ran a hand through her hair tiredly and turned to him, mustering up to a small smile.

“I’m sorry. I know I’m being impolite, but my head feels like it’s been rammed relentlessly into a brick wall and I just generally feel shitty. I just really need my bed right now. Thank you for taking care of me last night.”

Without another word, she pulled open the door and stepped through it. The light hit her eyes harshly and she groaned as she pulled sunglasses from her purse and slipped them on, the day another rare sunny one.

“Do you need a ride?” Cam offered behind her. She shook her head no, but on second thought asked him for the address of his apartment. He told her and she thanked him once more before bounding down the steps as quickly as possible, eager to get away from it all. She pulled her phone from her pocket and ignored the plethora of missed calls and texts there, instead calling a cab company and repeating the address Cam had given her. In less than five minutes, a yellow taxi pulled up and she hopped in, directing them toward her home across town.

The trip was spent with her head against the window as she grimaced with each bump in the road. It seemed like an hour long drive, though it was twenty minutes tops with morning traffic. She was thankful when the cab halted to a stop in front of her house, though she wasn’t thrilled with the idea of having to walk through those doors to her parents’ anger. She was sure at least half her missed calls were from her mom. After paying the cab driver, she took a deep breath and determinedly marched up the steps, into her home.

Her parents were both sitting at the kitchen table, drinking a cup of coffee. Emmett was leaning against the counter, nibbling at a Poptart. At the sound of the door opening, all eyes turned to her.

“Where the hell have you been?” her mother demanded, standing up.

“I stayed with Allison,” she responded absently, not pausing in the doorway as she passed it. Behind her, her mother was standing, ready to rush down the hall after her and start a fight. Her dad stood in the doorway, blocking her way. Charlie paused on the stairs, watching as her father laid a hand on her mom’s shoulder to calm her.

“Let it go. We’ll talk later,” he said softly. Her mother’s eyes flashed with anger, but she made no reply. Charlie bit her lip as her father looked over his shoulder to meet her eye, as if telling her he was going to give her space but she wouldn’t get away with this behavior for long. She turned and bounded the rest of the way up the steps into her room, shutting the door quietly behind her as she flung her things on the ground and slid into bed.

She spent the day like that, wrapped in a cocoon of sheets, drifting in and out of consciousness. When she finally woke for good, the clock beside her read 4:15. Groaning, she forced herself out of bed and into the shower, scrubbing away the sweat and make up from the night before. Her stomach was still making a fuss and she knew she needed to eat immediately. She dressed quickly in a pair of yoga pants and an oversized Mariners hoodie. Her hair she decided to let air dry into a mess of waves, too lazy to blow it dry and try to do anything with it. At this point in the day, there was no point.

The house was eerily silent. She was cautious as she left the sanctuary of her room, afraid of encountering her parents and having to sit through a lecture. She wasn’t in the mood, frankly. It would probably end in a fight, her screaming at her parents for the actions they took eight years earlier, Charlie sneaking in digs at Emmett in the process, sure he was eavesdropping somewhere nearby. Yes, this would come, but she wanted to put it off for as long as humanly possible.

The stairs creaked beneath her weight as she took them slowly, padding down them and making her way toward the kitchen. She listened intently for any sign of her family and heard nothing. Feeling confident, she rounded the corner into the kitchen only to meet the one person she was avoiding more so than her parents.

Emmett sat at the table, reading a newspaper. His eyes shifted up to meet hers just as she came to a halt in the doorway. In response, he sat down the paper and looked hard at her.

“They’re out, if that’s what you’re worried about,” he told her just as she turned to leave. Charlie let out a breath she hadn’t realized she had been holding.

“You’re hungry,” he stated after a few moments of silence, a statement rather than a question. She opened her mouth to argue, but a gurgling sound from her mid-section gave her away. Emmett cracked a smile and stood.

“There’s nothing here to cure that hangover. C’mon. I’ll buy.”

Charlie prepared herself to argue again, not wanting to go anywhere with him, but he had grabbed her elbow and led her toward the door, wallet in hand. She hadn’t the strength to pull away, but rather followed behind him reluctantly out the door, her feet slipping into a pair of loafers on her way out. The sun was still bright, but not blinding. She found she could tolerate it as they made their way down the street, walking the few blocks to the nearest street of local restaurants.

Charlie stuffed her hands in her pockets, looking anywhere but at her brother. She could feel his eyes on her, but she was blatantly ignoring it as they went along. Her cooperation in leaving the house didn’t mean all was forgiven and she wanted to make that clear to him. Instead, she counted the trees they passed, all blooming with pink blossoms. The streets weren’t busy at this time of day yet, but there were a few cars here and there, leaving work early to beat the rush hour.

Emmett didn’t attempt to talk to her as they made their way down the street, keeping pace with one another. For this she was grateful, was already growing tired with the pretence of an angry teenager. This personality wasn’t like her and she hated being put in a situation where she felt it necessary.

They finally made it, Charlie’s stomach roaring with hunger by the time they arrived. Emmett paused, not saying a word as he watched her decide where she wanted to go. She knew exactly where she wanted to go, this place being a favorite of hers for years . Admittedly, she had partied a little too hard a few times and this particular food was the best hangover cure she’d found thus far. It was also somewhere she remembered Emmett frequenting when he still lived at home, which is why she hesitated before making up her mind. She said nothing to Emmett, but instead began striding determinedly over to the food cart set up in the middle of the sidewalk, situated in the space between a bank and an office. A young girl was mixing batter behind the counter, but looked up upon Charlie’s approach, ringing up her order and asking Emmett what he would like. Emmett declined an order, handing over eight crumpled dollar bills to pay for Charlie’s Nutella crêpe.

Charlie edged her way over to one of the few small tables set up outside adjacent to the cart. There wasn’t much room on the sidewalk, just enough for six two-person seating arrangements, which was more than enough. The furniture was weatherproof, black metal, and it always left criss cross imprints on her body when she sat. Still, it was familiar to her, a piece of her childhood she liked to visit often, though doing so with her brother seemed foolish to her now.

Emmett sat down opposite her, crêpe in hand. He pushed the plate toward her, along with a styrofoam cup of water and a plastic fork. Charlie accepted these without comment and began digging in. He remained silent for the duration of her meal, his eyes flickering between watching her or watching passers by as they made their way down the street. Charlie was on her last bite when Emmett finally spoke.

“I understand why you’re mad at me and I can’t blame you for that. I made a stupid decision, I broke a promise, and I know it’s not okay for me to just show up out of the blue like this and wreck everything you’ve built up to protect yourself from me. I hurt you, and it’s not okay.”

Charlie nearly choked on her food as he said these words, surprised he cut straight to the chase after days of both of them avoiding the subject. It filled her with relief to know he knew these things already, that she wouldn’t have to muster up the courage and fill him in on it. Being a bitch wasn’t one of her strong suits and she felt childish anytime she attempted it. She crossed her arms, slumping back in her chair to communicate that she was still angry, but at least listening.

“I went for eight years without saying a word to you. I never even tried to come back, and I know there aren’t enough words in all the languages in the world for me to even attempt to apologize for that, so I won’t try. I can only hope that you understand I was a different person when I left than I am now.”

“Bullshit,” Charlie responded, taking a drink of her water. Emmett was taken aback.

“What?”

“That’s bullshit. If you hadn’t got jumped in an alley in LA you wouldn’t even be here. You’d still be out on the streets because you would never want to admit defeat to mom and dad, and that’s the honest to God truth.”

“I was saving up to come back, Charlie. I was tired of living that way.”

“Bullshit.”

Emmett, flushed red with anger, reached into his pocket and pulled out his wallet. From the wallet he withdrew three hundred dollar bills and slammed it on the table.

“I had more before I was mugged. They took anything I had on me. You have to believe me, Charlie. I care about you. I’m your brother, and I know I failed you, but I want to rebuild a relationship with you. And I promised to pay you back what money you gave me when I left, so I’ll start with that. This is yours,” he told her, pushing the cash in her direction. Charlie glared down at it.

“I didn’t give you $300 when you left, Emmett.”

“I took a hell of a lot more than just money from you when I left, Charlie, and I know that. Take my damn money.”

“You’re trying to buy a relationship with me. You’re bribing me. I don’t want your fucking money, I want the eight years you left me alone for back.”

With that she stood, pushing back from the table with such force that her chair fell to the ground. Emmett stood also, reaching for her. She shook his arm off and began walking, hailing a cab as she did. Sliding in, she gave the driver Allison’s address, ignoring the man on the sidewalk, watching after her completely stunned.

The train screeched to a stop and Harry looked up, surprised at the amount of time that had passed. It was his stop and he stood, shoving the journal in his duffel bag before zipping it up and making his way out onto the platform. He scanned the crowds, hoping to go unnoticed in a busy train station long enough to find his sister. Luck was on his side and he spotted her almost immediately, her hair dyed a shocking bright blue. Her face broke out into a smile as she crossed the room in one quick movement, engulfing him in a hug. He breathed in the scent of her, smiling into her neck as she kissed his cheek.

“I missed you!” she exclaimed with a giddy laugh. He grinned at her, more than happy to see her, especially after the scene he’d just read on the train.

“I missed you, too. More than you know.”