Keep on Going

He wasn’t sure how it happened, but he woke up to a distant rumbling. He looked around his dark apartment and realized that he wasn’t in his room. Disoriented, he squinted his eyes to try and decipher where he was at. Kennedy tried to move but the moment he did, he felt a pair of arms around his waist pull him back. The buzzing noise had stopped momentarily so he relaxed back into whatever he was sitting on and began to drift back to sleep. However after a short period of time, the buzzing started going off again. He looked and saw a small amount of light sitting on a table in front of him. He squinted and was able to successfully lean forward to observe the source of light and noise. His blood ran cold when he saw it was Ben calling.

Suddenly thoughts of what had happened earlier came rushing back to him. He had brought Kacey over to his apartment to order pizza after he took her to his spot on the cliff. She had changed into his shirt and they settled on the couch to watch TV. They sat there for a while and eventually he got his cellphone out of his pocket and called in pizza. They finished if off throughout the day, eventually saving it to eat for dinner that night. He hadn’t been expecting her to stay the entire afternoon, or day , or night for that matter. However he wasn’t complaining at all. He enjoyed the ease that came with her company.

Somehow in the midst of their mini movie marathon, the pair had fallen asleep on the couch. He didn’t remember it happening and wasn’t sure how long he had been asleep. However when he checked Kacey’s phone and saw that she had a slew of missed calls and texts from Ben, he figured it had been a while. He looked at the time on her phone and saw that it was just after one in the morning.

With a groan, he carefully retracted Kacey’s arms from around his waist and got up to get a glass of water. When he returned to the living room, he saw Kacey had leaned over to where he had previously been sitting and she was shivering. With a small smile, he made his way to the hall closet and grabbed a blanket and pillow. He made his way over and went to put the pillow under her, head, but she grabbed his arms instead and pulled him back onto the couch. He chuckled lightly at the gesture as he tried to get comfortable.

Once he was seated, she instantly curled herself around him and buried her head into his chest. He smiled and grabbed the blanket, draping it over her shivering body. He took one arm and wrapped it around her shoulders, further securing her to him. With his other hand, he began to lightly stroke her hair, the repetitive motion starting to put him to sleep.

Kacey woke up confused. She looked around and realized that she was still in Kennedy’s apartment. She tried to get up, but something was holding her down. She looked and saw Kennedy’s arms wrapped tightly around her shoulders and waist. She felt her own arms tightly holding herself to him; an action that felt so natural, she barely realized she was doing it. Embarrassed, she buried her face into his side between his arm and torso.

She was officially awake now and she wouldn’t be able to fall back to sleep under these circumstances. She wanted to get up because her muscles were cramping up from being in that position on the couch all night, but she couldn’t bring herself to move. She convinced herself it was strictly because she didn’t wish to wake Kennedy up; not because she secretly enjoyed this close proximity. She had Ben who actually made his feelings known. Kennedy was so fickle with her that she didn’t really know where they stood.

She felt Kennedy stirring beneath her and she quickly feigned sleep so he wouldn’t know she was awake. She felt him rise slightly to arch his back in a stretch before collapsing back into the couch with a sigh. She then felt him lift one of his arms from around her shoulders as he began stroking her hair slightly before he gently placed his lips on the top of her head.

He replaced his hand that was stroking her hair and wrapped it back around her shoulders. If it was possible, he felt himself holding her closer and tighter to him than before. He sighed in contentment and readjusted himself so he could comfortably lay his head on top of hers. He didn’t understand why he suddenly wanted to be so physically close to Kacey but his body craved her presence. He felt so content and complete with her by his side and it didn’t make sense to him.

He continued to sit there, his head propped atop hers, and looked at the black TV in front of them. The light from outside was coming through the windows to his left, and he was thankful for the investment in darker colored curtains. His thumb rubbed soothing circles onto her shoulders as he contemplated what on earth was going on in his head with Kacey. Something about her confused him and scrambled whatever thoughts he tried to maintain.

Kacey was growing stir-crazy pretending to be asleep. So she eventually decided to stir a bit so Kennedy would realize that she was beginning to wake up. His grip around her loosened slightly so she could sit up if she wanted. However, she didn’t want to; she wanted to stay right where she was. However she knew she couldn’t because Kennedy apparently didn’t reciprocate the same feelings for her that she felt towards him.

She moved to sit up slightly and Kennedy reluctantly moved his head from atop hers so she could sit up. She turned her face up to look at him only to realize that his face was merely inches from hers. She could feel his breath lightly hitting her face as she continued to sit wrapped up in his embrace. Her heart fluttered uncontrollably and she had flashbacks of the morning before in her apartment when he came over.

Kennedy didn’t know what came over him, but waking up to her in his embrace, wearing his shirt, and looking more like herself than she did dolled up in makeup made him equally nervous and confident. The confidence part of him was taking over at the moment and he felt his head start to lean towards Kacey.

Seeing his face near hers, she closed her eyes in anticipation of what was coming. She couldn’t believe that this was actually happening, or about to happen. She felt the ghost of his lips brush against hers and she was ready to close what little distance was left between them until she heard her phone vibrate on his coffee table.

The pair both exhaled defeated breaths. Kennedy momentarily leaned his forehead against hers, opting to place a chaste kiss on her forehead instead. He then got up from the couch and made his way towards his room to give her privacy.

She turned to see his retreating figure and groaned in frustration before turning to her phone. She was surprised to see it was Ben calling her and that she had many missed calls and texts from him. With a deep breath, she picked up her phone and answered.

“Hello?”

“Kacey?! Is it really you?” he asked in a frenzy.

“Uh...yeah. I’m fine. What’s going on?” she said over a yawn.

“Nothing I’m just glad you’re okay,” he said with relief in his voice. “I went over to your apartment yesterday to see if you wanted to hang out, but Abby said you weren’t there and didn’t know where you were. So I tried calling and texting you. After a few hours of you not responding I grew a bit nervous. I was up all night with worry,” he chuckled nervously at the end.

Kacey couldn’t help the small smile that played at her lips at his words. It warmed her heart to know that he cared about her well-being.

“So can I take you out later tonight? Will Cinderella be home by then?” he chuckled.

She smiled, “Yes, this pumpkin is about to head home.”

“Good, I’ll see you then.”

She hung up and she bit her lip as she tried to hide her smile. She looked down to see she was still in Kennedy’s 8123 shirt and butterflies filled her stomach. Never did she think that she would be so torn between two guys. She heard Kennedy shuffling out of his room and he was wearing different clothes than he had on before.

He hesitantly made his way over to where Kacey was seated, hoping she wasn’t on the phone. Relieved that she wasn’t, he smiled as he moved to sit next to her. He propped his arm along the back of the couch behind where she was sitting and looked at her with a smile. “So? What’re we doing today?”

Kacey sheepishly smiled. As much as she would love to spend another full day with Kennedy, she knew she should get back. She needed to change out of her clothes from the day before, let Abby know that she wasn’t dead, and get ready for her night with Ben.

She bit her lip slightly before answering. “Actually, I really need to get back. I uh, need to let Abby know that I’m still alive,” she chuckled, “as well as get ready to meet up with Ben tonight,” she muttered at the end.

The genuine smile Kennedy had on his face faltered and was replaced with a small, forced smile. “Oh, well uh, I hope you have fun tonight then,” he said.

Kacey moved to get up and realized she was still in Kennedy’s shirt. “Oh! Ken, I still have your shirt. Let me quick change out of it and I’ll give it back to you.”

He looked at her and smiled, “Nah it’s alright. Keep it. I’ve got plenty more,” he said with a wink.

A small blush covered her cheeks as she nodded in reply and made her way to the front door. She stopped as she turned to face him, “I’ll uh, see you later I suppose,” and gently waved at him.

He laughed. “How do you plan on getting back? I did pick you up yesterday.”

“Oh, right,” she nervously chuckled.

“You trying to get rid of me already?”

“What? No,” she muttered. “C’mon, let’s go.”

He laughed and grabbed his keys off the coffee table. His hand brushed hers as he walked past her and he grabbed her hand in his, leading her to his car. He interlocked their fingers, wanting to hold her hand to his as tightly as he could. His nerves were all over the place, but a simple touch from Kacey settled his nerves and quieted his mind.

The ride back to her apartment was silent as Kacey was trapped in her mind over what happened over the last 24 hours. When Kennedy pulled up in front of her apartment, she quickly leaned over to plant a small kiss on his cheek.

“Thanks for yesterday. I had fun.”

She then exited his car and made her way up to her apartment. Her stomach was in knots, but it wasn’t with worry so much as it was with excitement. She unlocked the door to her apartment and made her way inside. She found Abby lounging on the couch, flipping through a magazine. Her head turned towards Kacey and she quickly sat up.

“Well, well, well, look who’s finally decided to grace me with her presence!” Abby said sarcastically.

Kacey shot her a look as she made her way to the kitchen to grab a bottle of water from the fridge.

“Woah, hold the phone, are you wearing a guy’s shirt?!” Abby asked incredulously as Kacey made her way back into the living room.

With a roll of her eyes, she plopped onto the couch next to Abby. “Why does it matter?” Kacey answered exasperated.

“Because it could explain where you were all day yesterday and last night! So, is it a guy’s?!”

“Yes if you must know.”

“Oh my god. You’re joking.”

“No! I’m serious. Why would I lie about this? I thought you wanted to know…”

Abby instantly curled her feet up onto the couch underneath her and turned her full attention to Kacey. “Spill. I’m dying to know,” she said with a glow in her eyes.

“It’s Kennedy’s,” Kacey muttered.

Abby paused momentarily. “Um, hold on. Did you just say it was Kennedy’s?”

Kacey merely nodded

Abby squealed with excitement. “Ok, tell me everything! Spare no dirty detail!”

Kacey scoffed and playfully nudged Abby. “You’re unbelievable. There’s nothing to tell.”

“Says the girl wearing his shirt.”

“Touche, but you don’t know the reason behind it.”

“I bet I could think of a few…” Abby trailed off.

“Stop before you have me running off eloping with him,” she groaned. “Basically he came to the apartment yesterday to pick me up because we were going to hang out. He took me to this spot on the cliffs that he always goes to and then we went back to his house for pizza. He let me change into his shirt because I was so sweaty and gross from the hike. We had a movie marathon and we both fell asleep. I woke up this morning on his couch, we almost kissed, Ben called, and now I’m here. See? Nothing.”

“Um...except for the part where you said that you and Kennedy almost kissed! What brought that on?”

“I don’t know. It just happened. Well, it would’ve if Ben hadn’t called me…”

“Wait, Ben called?”

“Yeah, he left a bunch of messages all last night. I didn’t hear my phone go off. He just wanted to hang out. Since we didn’t last night, we’re hanging out tonight.”

“So, just hanging out and not a date…” Abby clarified.

“No...I think it may be a date,” Kacey shrugged nonchalantly.

“How are you taking this all so lightly? What about Kennedy?”

“What about him? Abs, he doesn’t have the same feelings. He never will. He doesn’t believe in love. I can’t give up my hopes that he’s going to change just because we had an almost intimate moment this morning.”

“Do you not hear yourself?” Abby asked exasperated. “You’re contradicting everything you’re saying! You say Ken doesn’t have feelings for you, yet he almost kisses you. You say that you’re happy with Ben, yet you keep going back to Kennedy. Hon, get your shit together and decide who you want to be with. These are two great guys that don’t deserve to be strung around.” Abby then got up and stormed off to her room, leaving Kacey sitting stunned on the couch.

Abby reappeared a few minutes later with a duffle bag in hand. “I’m off to the gym. I’ll be back later.” She grabbed her keys off the hook by the front door and slammed it shut behind her.

Kacey stared at the back of the closed door in a stunned silence. Abby had never truly lashed out at her about her relationships until that day. However, Kacey couldn’t deny that Abby had a valid point. She couldn’t continue to string both guys along. She had to choose who she was going to invest in emotionally. Her gut told her Kennedy, but her brain told her Ben.

Though Kennedy was totally wrong for her, she had a connection with him that she didn’t share with Ben. However with Ben, she knew she had emotional stability. She wouldn’t have to worry about if he was going to bail on their relationship one day because he realized it was too much. Ben would be as faithful to her as what she had hoped. He was literally the guy of her dreams. Everything she had ever imagined and had wanted in a man, Ben personified it. Which is why, with a reluctant sigh, she opted to go for Ben. She would have to keep her distance from Kennedy in order to emotionally invest in whatever was happening between her and Ben. She just hoped she would be able to stay away from the magnetic pull Kennedy seemed to have on her.