Keep on Going

Kacey sighed as she rested her chin in the palm of her hand, staring out into the fire before her as the sun officially disappeared. The past day had been torture. She wasn't sure what to do. Between Kennedy and Ben, her head was going to explode. It didn't help that she had no cell reception to call Abby for advice.

"What's wrong?" She heard and glanced up to see John of all people sitting beside her.

"Nothing..."

"Mhm, not such a good liar, little Claire." He mused as he stretched his legs out in front of him.

She glanced over and he grinned, "Seriously, what's up?"

"I wish I knew."

"Let me guess, Kennedy?"

She nodded as she looked back at the fire and the silence between them made her speak, "He says he doesn't believe in love so I decide to date Ben despite how much I like him and then he gets mad because I am with Ben and claims to like me. And people say girls are confusing!"

John chuckled, "Can't argue with that. Seriously though, Ken likes you. A lot. I think we've all known it for some time. Hell, I think he's known it for a long time. He just, he hates relationships. I don't know why but they terrify him."

"So what? What does that mean I should do?" She asked seriously and apparently desperate if she was asking John of all people.

John sighed rubbing the back of his neck, "I don't know, Kace. Give him time. Honestly, I can't believe he even admitted to liking you, but he did and that has to count for something. He just needs time."

She nodded as she picked at the hole in the knee of her jeans. Time. It feels like all she has been giving him since they met was time.

"But hey, if you like Ben more by all means stick with him. He's a good guy."

She looked over at him and he smirked instantly, "Something tells me that's not the case though."

"Yeah..."

He smiled before bumping her shoulder with his, "Cheer up, Princess. It'll get better."

She rolled her eyes and he chuckled as she relaxed her head against his shoulder. It honestly made her feel better to have someone to vent to. Even if it was someone who teased her a lot. He really wasn't that bad.

"This is exhausting."

"Oh the woes of being pretty." He mocked causing her to shove him lightly.

"Shut up. It's actually because I'm awesome."

He laughed, "Righttt."

"Jerk."

"Princess."

"How is that insulting actually?"

The pair laughed and he ruffled her hair, "You're not too bad, Kacey."

"You're approval is all I need in life."

"And you've got it, babe! Have you talked to Ken since well, last night after the kiss?"

She covered his mouth with her hand, "How do you know?" She whispered, although no one was close enough to hear their conversation.

"Ken has to talk to someone...or I may have saw you two so..." He stated pulling her hand off his face.

She frowned, "So you're saying I should talk to him?"

John shrugged, "I don't know, I'm not good at these things but then again neither is he so..."

"You're no help."

He chuckled as he lightly pushed her from her seat, pointing to where Kennedy was sitting on the edge of the pier, dangling his feet into the water. She forced herself to walk over even if she felt like being like her normal self and just avoid the situation.

"You ok?" She asked once close enough and she noticed him jump a little before speaking, "Yep."

She nodded deciding to be brave and sit beside him. What did she have to lose at this point?

"What do you want?" He finally asked not daring to look over at her.

"Just, haven't talked to you all day." She stated crossing her arms.

There went the bravery.

"I know."

She bit her bottom lip and he stared at the lake trying to form the words he really wanted to say but even he was unsure what those should be.

"I'm leaving in the morning." He stated casually and she nodded, "Because of me?"

He shook his head no as he rubbed the back of his neck, "I just have a lot to think about."

"Do you want me to go with you?" She asked boldly and his couldn't help his eyes locking with hers, "Do you want to go with me?"

She shrugged as she bit her lip and he honestly didn't know what to say. He wasn't good at these things this is why he didn't want to make this something.

"Where's Ben?" He asked the one question that would ruin any moment they could have been having.

"He crashed like an hour ago. Jared had to literally drag him to bed."

He nodded now for some reason even more nervous. It was ridiculous. Since when had a girl made him nervous? He breathed in deeply to calm himself. He had to get control.

"I don't understand you. I just don't. You seriously infuriate me." She spoke before he even knew what was going on. Her word alone made him confused a bit. Where was this coming from?

"I infuriate you?" He scoffed as he glanced at her.

"Yes, you infuriate me! You have no right to be mad at me! You blatantly told me you do not want any sort of relationship and on top of that you had no problem with me dating Ben! If it was that big of a deal you should have said something at the beginning! If anything I should be mad at you! Because I liked you so much and decided to just date Ben because I knew you would never feel that way about me! But yet, I'm to blame? And I'm the one acting like a girl?!" She shouted surprised by her own action as much as Kennedy's face told her he was. She wasn't one to yell so she already felt tears brimming her eyes but this had been weighing on her since the night before and she had to get it off her chest. Even if they ended the previous night with a kiss he had been acting like he was before hand.

"And yeah, maybe I am just like every other girl, but normal people have feelings, Kennedy. And good luck finding someone who doesn't. Not everyone is like you, ok? And honestly I feel bad for you." She said seriously as she wiped at her cheek before moving from where she sat.

"Bad for me?"

"Yeah, that you'll never love someone, or have someone to go through life with. Especially once all your friends do just that and you find yourself alone."

Kennedy didn't bother to speak as he watched her wipe the now falling tears from her face before she let out a fake laugh, "I'm stupid though. This is what I do. Fall for guys who have no intention to fall for me. The truth is, you don't deserve me anyways. I deserve someone who feels the same way and is willing to put effort into it. That's why I chose to date Ben, because he does that. I just need space from you. Especially now. I can't keep getting my hopes up on you. That's like waiting for a zombie apocalypse to happen!"

Kennedy rolled his eyes, "Ok, Garrett."

"See what I mean?! That right there! You can't even be serious for two seconds."

Kennedy scoffed, "I was when I was kissing you, dear."

She glared at him as she crossed her arms, "Just leave me alone." She mumbled out although it killed her to say it. She walked away leaving Kennedy feeling worse than he already did. He really hated how he couldn't be serious about it but it freaked him out, it was just natural for him.

He breathed in, running his fingers through his hair before pushing up from his seat. He just needed to sleep.

John eyed the boy as he made his way past where he sat and before he could say anything Kennedy spoke, "Just drop it."

"I'm just saying, you won't find another girl like her, but what do I know?"

Kennedy sighed as he walked into the house that was eerily quiet thanks to everyone being outside or asleep. Did Kacey go to bed? He was a bit bummed about that even if she was mad at him. A part of him wanted to apologize. He just didn't know if he had it in him to do so.

He headed to the bathroom, deciding to brush his teeth before he passed out. As soon as he reached for the handle it flew open and Kacey stood in front of him. Her eyes were now red and he felt worse than he thought he would just from the sight. She opened her mouth to speak but before she could, Kennedy threw out his logic and grabbed her waist, pushing her further into the bathroom as he kicked the door shut with his foot.

"Ken..." She began only to be cut off by his lips. His hand ran up her cheek and he let his fingers tangling into her hair. He liked kissing her. He hated that he did, but he knew he didn't want to kiss anyone else. That had to mean something, right?

"I'm sorry, ok?" He mumbled barely at a whisper, "I don't want leave you alone. I don't want you to want me to leave you alone."

"Then what do you want?"

"I don't know, Kace. I don't. This is all, new to me..."

She sighed as she stepped back from him, a frown now lining his lips.

"So, what do you want me to do?" She asked crossing her arms and he leaned against the counter as he tried to think of exactly how to say what he wanted without hurting her feelings. He apparently was prone to doing that.

"I don't know, Kacey. I don't. I mean, I'm not going to tell you not to be with Ben because you like him and yeah, you're probably right, he is way better for you than I am, but..." He stated, running his fingers through his hair as his gaze shifted to the window in front of him.

"I don't know what I'm trying to say here. I don't know exactly what I'm suppose to say or how I'm suppose to act. I just know that for the first time in a really long time, I'm feeling something I never wanted to feel again."

"Glad you associate me with bad feelings." She joked but Kennedy simply rolled his eyes, "You know that's not what I'm saying."

Kacey sighed as she uncrossed her arms, "I just need to know how to act around you. I mean, you can't just act like you hate me and then kiss me then go back to hating me."

"I know, Kace. I am well aware but, for the record I could never hate you." He stated, his eyes meeting hers and she bit her bottom lip once again. It always felt like he could see right into her when he had such a serious look in his normal dreamy eyes.

He gave her a weak grin before holding his hand out to her and she knew she shouldn't but she gave in and placed her hand in his. He pulled her to him, sliding his arm around her waist once she was in front of him.

"Do you still like me?" He asked softly, as he brushed back her hair with his free hand.

All she could manage to do was nod in response. Her nerves were everywhere simply from being as close to him as she was.

"And I don't mean in a friendly manner..."

"I didn't assume you did."

He chuckled, "Just making sure."

"Yeah because in the friendly manner right now I most definitely don't."

He rolled his eyes before pressing his lips to her cheek. It was odd him being affectionate, and although she was an affectionate person it took her off guard every time and she didn't really know how to act.

"What are you thinking about?" He asked and she shook her head before giving in and resting her head against his chest.

"I'm sorry I keep hurting your feelings. It's not like I intentionally do it, it's just that I really just don't know what's right or wrong until I say it and realize that was not the right thing to say..."

"It's ok." She mumbled as he stroked her hair. She hated how easy it was to forgive him but she honestly understood how he was and she knew he was being sincere.

"It's not. I honestly feel like shit."

She raised up to look at him, which made them only inches away from each other. Kennedy's nerves were now back and he didn't know what to do with them.

"There's no need for you to. I promise."

He simply nodded and as the pair stood there in a comfortable silence just staring at each other, she realized that no matter how hard she tried she would never get over him. It would be impossible. Especially now.

"I'm going to break up with Ben when we leave here."

"No, don't. I-I mean, I don't know..I mean, what if...you just shouldn't." He fumbled out and she placed her hands on his face causing him to sigh as his eyes met hers.

"It's not fair to Ben. I mean, being with him isn't going to make my feelings for you go away and that isn't fair."

He groaned before pressing his forehead against her shoulder causing her to laugh.

"This is so damn stressful."

"You make it stressful."

"Don't think I'm not glad you have feelings for me...it's just, a lot."

She laughed, "I get it."

"Of course you do."

"Is that a good thing or bad thing?"

A smile hit his face, and she couldn't help but return it even though she had no reason to.

"It's good."

She nodded and a chuckle left his lips, "Go get some sleep. I'll see you in the morning."

She nodded and he pressed his lips to her forehead, "Sweet dreams, Kacey."

She said goodnight before leaving the bathroom a lot happier than she entered. Sure, she wasn't going to enjoy having to end things with Ben tomorrow but her hope was back in full force and she truly felt like things would work out this time. Then again, she had been proven wrong before.