Voodoo Doll

Chapter Ten

“So, what did I miss?” Welly asked as I put the phone on speaker. I was trying to get some work done before my mum got back from doing the food shop, but Welly had phoned and I was a little distracted.

“Not much really. I’ve bought tickets for me and Michael to see All Time Low, but I haven’t told him yet.” I replied absentmindedly. My desk was a mess; there was no way I was going to be able to get any work done in this mess.

“Was that a good idea?” Welly asked dubiously.

"Why wouldn't it be?" I asked, confused.

I heard her sigh on the other end of the phone. "It's just, he's trying to make things up to you, and you buying him these tickets could make him feel even worse. Maybe you should have just let him keep making things up to you for a while." I frowned. What was she talking about?

"What do you mean? He has nothing to make up to me! Calum and Luke were the ones to suggest it anyway. Also, it's kind of a selfish present because I want to go and I just needed someone to go with." It wasn't a lie, but there was no way I'd be going if it weren't for the fact I was trying to make it up to him. I couldn't really afford to go, but I owed Michael.

"Okay, well it's up to you, and you've bought the tickets now." I could tell she thought I was stupid, but I didn't understand why. What on earth was wrong with buying him the tickets?

"Okay, well I have to go." I admitted, "Alfie just text me to let me know he wants to phone."

"Good luck." Welly mumbled. She never really knew what to say when I mentioned Alfie. She wasn't overly fond of him. I didn't blame her. I could see where she was coming from as my friend, but he was my brother and I couldn't hold anything against him.

"I'll see you later." I said, hanging up the phone.

Barely a minute later the phone began ringing again. I looked at the caller ID but I already knew who it was. I stared at the name for a moment, holding my breath before finally gaining the courage to answer.

"Hello." I said breathlessly.

"Belle." He said, and I cringed. It didn't sound right from his lips any more.

"How are you?" I asked. It wasn't that I blamed Alfie for leaving. Who would? She treated him worse than all of us, but I just couldn't get over the fact he left me with her, and never came back.

"I'm better. How are you?" He asked, clearly unsure of what he should be talking to me about.

I sighed, "What do you want me to say? I'm fine? I'm happy? I'm not. I'm not fine. I'm not happy." I snapped suddenly.

I wasn't sure where this anger had come from. Alfie had left years ago. I was over it. He'd left and he hadn't looked back, and I'd come to terms with it. He'd call every now and again, keep up the act that we were family, and then I wouldn't hear from him again for months.

"Belle..."

"Don't call me that." I bit.

"Sorry." He mumbled. "I just wanted to call and tell you that I've met someone."

My heart sank. All the anger I'd felt melted away. "What's his name?" I asked, my tone softer this time.

"Marc. You'd really love him Anna."

"Are you going to tell mum?" I asked, knowing the answer already.

I heard Alfie shuffle on the other end. "I don't think I can." I understood.

Alfie being gay was one of the main reasons he'd left home. He'd never had the chance to come out to dad. He'd been too scared of what dad would think of him to say anything. It wasn't until after dads funeral that he came out. In front of everyone. Mum had been mortified. She's ushered him away and told everyone he was just confused and grieving. She was so ashamed.

It wasn't that she was homophobic, no, it was just that her son couldn't be gay. Goodness no, that couldn't happen to her perfect little family. The fights had been awful. I remember lying awake at night as she screamed at him. Told him he was disgusting and a disgrace and how disappointed his father would be with him. Finally, he'd had enough. He walked out. He walked out and never came back. Not for birthdays and not for Christmas. Mum had removed all the photos of him. She never mentioned him. It was as if he never existed.

"I can tell her if you want." I offered. As much as I was mad at him for leaving me, I understood. He did what he needed. I couldn't blame him.

"You don't have to. I don't see what good it'll do. I'm happy, and I don't want it spoiled by anyone." He admitted. I couldn't blame him.

"Alfie, would you like me to tell her?" I asked more forcefully this time, because as much as he hated her she was still his mother and she still deserved to know. As much as she wouldn't admit it I think all she wanted was for him to be happy.

"I don't want to cause you trouble." He murmured.

"It's fine. I'll tell her. It's fine." I wasn't exactly looking forward to telling her, but at least I knew I had places I could go if she kicked me out again.

"If you're sure."

"I am. Now, how did you two meet?" I asked, a smile in my voice. I was happy for him. He deserved to be happy.

We continued to talk for what felt like a lifetime, but in reality was only another 20 minutes.

"I have to go!" I chimed suddenly as my Facebook tinged, telling me I had a message. It was 5.30 and I was supposed to be at Michael's half an hour ago/

"Got a date?" He joked.

"No! God, no. I'm working with Michael on an English project, I was supposed to be there ages ago!" I replied frantically as I searched for the books I needed.

"The kid who used to torment you? How is that going?" He scoffed.

"I mean, at first it was awkward, but he's honestly so one of the nicest guys I have ever met. Just a little misunderstood." I half grinned. "He's been a rock. I practically lived at his house last week while I was fighting with mum, and he took me to Thorpe park for the day." The sloppy half grin I had on my face turned to a full blown smile at the memory. It was easily one of the best days of my life, and it was thanks to him. He'd made me forget about everything that was happening back home.

"Okay, I bet you can't eat a foot long and then go on colossus immediately afterwards without throwing up." Michael joked.

"Okay." I smirked.

"If you throw up you have to do my homework for a week." He smirked.

"If I don't or if you do, then what do I get?" I smirked back.

"What do you want?" He asked, his tone daring.

"I want you to tell me why you tortured me for four years." The smile dropped off his face.

"Anything but that." He grumbled. I thought about pushing it, but then thought about the fact he'd just spent £100 on taking me out for the day to cheer me up.

"Okay, then I want you to promise never to poke me in the side again!" I joked and he laughed.

"Deal."

"Oh, I see." I could hear the smirk in his voice and instantly became defensive.

"It's not like that Alfie. He doesn't see me like that. I have to go. I love you. Goodbye!" I didn't give him a chance to say anything else before hanging up the phone.

I was half way out the door before I heard my mothers voice echo down the corridor calling me back.

"Where are you going?" She snapped from her spot on the sofa. Lula was sat on the floor playing with her toys and I could hear Noah in his room.

"I have to go to someone’s house to work on an English project." I replied nervously. I wasn't sure whether to tell her about Alfie now or whether to wait. I was already late to Michael's, but even as I thought it I realised how selfish that was. As much as I wanted to spend time with Michael, this was more important and I was sure he would understand that.

"I have something to tell you." I breathed, so quiet she almost didn't hear me.

"What?" She snapped, leaning down and snatching the action man from Lula's hand. "That's a boys toy." I wanted to say something but I'd learnt a long time ago that that argument was pointless. Lula knew it was fine to play with those toys in front of me, but mummy didn't like it.

"It's about Alfie..." She tried to cut me off, but I stopped her. "He's met someone. His name is Marc, and he makes him happy. Please, just be happy for him?" I begged. I just wanted her to be happy for him.

"Get out." She snapped, completely ignoring what I had told her. "Get out. Get out. Get out. Don't you dare come back!" She screamed, lunging at me from the sofa. Lula began crying and I could tell she was scared, so was I.

"It's okay, Lula. Just go to your room." I choked, trying not to let her see I was scared but failing miserably.

Lula wasted no time in sprinting out the living room, but instead of going to her room she ran to Noah's. Not that I blamed her. I was too scared to be alone too.

I grabbed my bag, tears streaming down my face, and headed out the house. I hated leaving the kids there with her, but I knew she wouldn't hurt them. She'd just get drunk and lock herself in her room.

I pulled out my phone to text Livvy anyway and let her know what had happened. Hopefully, she'd take the hint and go home and take care of the kids. I knew it was unfair on her. They weren't her responsibility, but if she wasn't there to look after them and make them dinner then no one would.

It didn't take me long to reach Michael's house. I didn't even bother knocking this time. Karen had told me not to bother, and while normally I wouldn't have listened, I didn't really fancy her seeing me cry.

I stopped outside Michael's door and knocked. It was one thing to just walk into the house, another entirely to just walk into his room. A few seconds later I heard some shuffling and then the door flung open.

"Whoa, you're crying." Michael blurted the second he saw me.

"No shit Sherlock." I joked, trying to laugh but it just came out as a strangled sob.

"Seriously, are you okay?" He asked, moving aside to let me in the room. He'd tidied up a bit. There were no dirty dishes and there were clean sheets on the bed.

"Family stuff." I mumbled and he nodded.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked gently. Instead of replying I just dropped my head into his chest. I don't know what made me do it, but I needed a hug. I felt his arms wrap around me as he pulled me close.

We stayed like that for about ten minutes before I finally calmed down. "Okay, well now you have no choice but to tell me. What happened?" He asked firmly, his teeth gritted.

I sniffled a couple more times, trying to compose myself. "Have I ever told you about Alfie?" I asked and Michael shook his head, so I told him. I told him everything. How he used to be my best friend, and how he came out and everything that happened after and then I told him about today.

Michael sat patiently, just listening to everything I had to say. When I finished he took a minute before saying anything, trying to get things straight in his head. "I just want you to know my door is always open to you Belle. You live in a really toxic environment, and you need to know you always have somewhere you can go."

I didn't really know what to say to him and I don't think he really knew what to say either.

"He's an idiot you know?" He finally said. "I mean your mum, well she's something else, but your brother? He's worse."

I frowned in confusion. How on earth could Alfie possibly be worse than her? "She's hurting and she's taking it out on you all, but she's still here. My dad showed me pictures he had of your dad and it must kill her to see you every day, because you look exactly like him and from what my dad's told me about him, he had the same temperament as you, and that must kill her. To see him in you every day. She's thoughtless and she's selfish, so incredibly selfish and toxic and I won't try and defend her, but your brother? He's almost worse in my head. He left you. He left you with a woman he knew was abusive, and I know you don't see her that way, but she is. He just walked out and never came back, and for what? To save his own skin?"

"Michael..." I sighed. "It's not that simple." I tried to reason.

"Would you ever leave them?" He asked, stopping me before I could say any more.

"What?"

"Would you ever leave those kids with her? Heck, would you ever have left him with her?"

"You know I wouldn't."

"Then you're 10 times the person he will ever be. I get that sometimes you have to put yourself first, but he left you all with a woman that he knew was abusive. He didn't stay and protect you, and he didn't take you with him. You'd never even consider it, because you're the most selfless person I have ever met. He's a fool and you deserve better."

I didn't really know what to say to him. There were so many thoughts rushing through my head and everything was so foggy. My head was still stuffy from all the crying, and I couldn't seem to keep my thoughts in order, and everything Michael had said was rushing around in my head and I could barely make sense of any of it.

"Could we maybe just watch a film?" I asked. I wasn't ignoring what he said. I just didn't know what to say to him. I didn't know how to respond because I'd never thought of it that way before, but it seemed to make sense of why Welly hated him so much. I could hardly blame her, because if someone had done that to her then I'd have hated them too.

"Of course we can." He smiled, kissing the top of my head, causing us both to freeze in shock. "Sorry." He mumbled before standing up. He came back a minute later with a pile of DVD's and a scraggy flannel top and some shorts.

"What are these for?" I asked as he threw them at me.

"I assumed you were staying the night," He shrugged, "and I figured you were getting tired of sleeping in your clothes."

"Thanks." I smiled. "I'll go and get changed." I stood and walked into his bathroom, careful to lock the door behind me.

I pulled on his old clothes and snuggled into them. They smelled like him and somehow that made me feel safe and warm. I didn't want to cry again, but thinking about how kind he was being was bringing me close to crying again.

When I eventually got back to his room he was lying in his bed, waiting to press play on the movie he'd picked. It was The Guardian.

"Does someone have a crush on Ashton Kutcher?" I joked.

"Who doesn't?" He replied mockingly.

"I almost forgot to tell you!" I perked up as I clambered into the bed next to him.

"What?"

"I bought you and I tickets to see All Time Low next week!"

"Have I ever told you that you're my favourite person? Because you are." He beamed, pulling me closer to him so we could snuggle and watch the film.

I wasn't sure when Michael and I had become so comfortable around each other, but I was glad we had. It was nice to have someone else I could depend on in my life. I never thought that person would be Michael, but I was sure glad he was there. He's the kind of person my dad would have approved of, and I was just upset that they'd never get to meet, because I really think they'd have loved each other.