Voodoo Doll

I didn’t wait around the next morning for Welly to wake up. I knew she’d still be asleep till gone midday, but I wanted to get home and get to work on more of that project. Michael was right, the more of it I did alone the quicker it would be done, the better it would be done and the less time I would have to spend with him.

The door was unlocked when I got home, and my mum wasn’t there. Livvy and Lula were out, but I could still hear Noah playing video games. I hated that she left him home alone. He was too young to be left home alone, and she wasn’t even allowed to leave him home alone.

I tidied up the mess that had been left in the living room and carried my things up to my room. Yet again Livvy had left her stuff lying on the floor. I wasn’t exactly a neat freak, I just liked things to be in their place. I didn’t mind a little mess, but Livvy took it beyond that.

I sat down to do the work and I had managed to get a fair bit done when the bedroom door swung open. My mother toppled in and I could smell the alcohol on her breath. “Where were you last night?” she slurred bitterly.

“I stayed at Welly’s.” I mumbled, trying to get back to work. It was best not to be confrontational when she had been drinking. It just made things so much worse.

“Well why don’t you go back there.” She bit. “I don’t want you.”

My throat went tight as I tried to ignore my mothers comments. She could be nasty at times but I knew she didn’t mean it. She was just hurting inside a lot, and she found easiest to take it out on me. I’d prefer she did that than take it out on the younger ones.

“I want you to leave and never come back. I can’t stand the sight of you. Seeing you makes me feel sick. Your father would have hated you too. You’re such a disappointment.” She snapped. I felt the bile rise in my throat. There wasn’t much left she could say that would get to me, to make me cry, but bringing up my dad and saying he’d be disappointed in me was one of them.

“Fine.” I replied, standing up. I collected my books, shoving them in a backpack with a toothbrush some pajamas and a spare change of clothes. I didn’t say anything else. I stormed past her slamming the front door as I left.

I didn’t really know where to go. I didn’t want to go to Welly. I loved her, but she hated my mum and she didn’t understand this. She’s just have got her mum to phone social services and before I knew it the kids would be gone and I’d be the only one left in the house. She wasn’t a bad mum to them, it was me that got the brunt of it. The others loved her. I loved her.

I wandered for a while. Not really sure where I was going. Just walking. It wasn’t until I ended up at Michael’s front door that I realised this is where I had been heading. He wasn’t expecting me today and after last night I was sure he wasn’t expecting me every, but I had no where else to go and we did still need to do this project. The sooner it was done the better. He’d have me out of his life and I could go back to pretending he doesn’t exist.

I found myself knocking lightly on the door and when it opened I was shocked to find an unfamiliar face. A man who stood at around 6’4 was towering over me. His features were hard and he eyed me sceptically. His face was a lot harder than Michael’s and his eyes a lot darker, but there were similarities in their feature. His hair was cut short though unlike Michael’s unruly mess. “H-Hello.” I stuttered.

“We don’t want what you’re selling.” He snapped, trying to slam the door in my face, but Michael stopped him.

“Dad? Annabelle? What are you doing here? We didn’t have anything planned today did we?” His expression was softer than it usually was, and there was no malice in his voice.

It took everything in me not to cry right there. “No, but I uh, I was hoping you’d be free. I really just want to get this done.” I admitted, looking at him hopefully.

“Alright then.” He said motioning for his dad to let me in. His dad stepped to the side, still eying me cautiously.

“You look familiar.” His father finally said rather bluntly. “Do I know one of your parents?” He asked, causing me to cringe.

“Uh, my dad he was in 18 reg.” I mumbled uncomfortably.

“Dad, we really need to work.” Michael tried, but it was useless.

“What’s his name, I might have met him?” Today was really not the day for this to be happening.

“Bombardier Edwards.” Annabelle mumbled, and cringed as she watched the recognition spread across his face.

“You’re the spit of him. He was a brave man. I had the pleasure of working with him. One of the kindest souls I ever met and he deserved the Victoria Cross. I hope you keep that somewhere special.” His dad nodded in recognition. “I’ll be down here if you two need anything.”

“I’m sorry about him.” Michael sighed as we made our way to his room. “He means well.”

“It’s fine. I’m glad other people saw him for the great man he was.” I admitted, it just hurt when people brought him up. It was bad enough looking in the mirror. I patted my chest, the medal hung around my neck, hidden by my dress. My mum had thrown it out when it had been delivered to us, but I’d fished it out of the bin. I only took it off to shower.

“So, did you think about what I said last night?” he asked, flopping down on his bed.

“Can we just work?” I asked, trying to ignore his piercing stare. I didn’t want to have this conversation. I just wanted to work, and figure out where I was going to sleep tonight.

“When you tell me why you’re really here.” He sighed leaning back against his pillows.

“To work.”

“Listen, Belle, I’m not stupid. You weren’t supposed to be here today anyway, but after last night there is no way you’d come and see me willingly unless something was up, and either you came here because you wanted to talk about it or because you have no where else to go. Now spill.” He smirked. He thought he was so smart and it really irked me because he wasn’t.

“It’s really none of your concern, okay?”

“Belle, common tell me.”

“Why do you care?” I snapped.

He shrugged, “I don’t. I just like knowing things.” But there was something in his eyes that told me that wasn’t quite true. They were too soft.

“I had a fight with my mum. She’s kicked me out and I can’t go to Welly’s, okay? I had no where else to go.” I trapped my lip between my teeth to stop it from chattering as I fought back the urge to cry.

“What did you fight about?” he asked, sitting forward.

I sighed, dropping my gaze to the floor. He really needed to hoover, there was muck everywhere. “She said my dad would be disappointed in me and to get out.” I wasn’t sure why I was being honest with him. Everything about it seemed like a bad idea, but I had no one else to talk to. While most people liked me and I got along with everyone Welly was my only friend, and I couldn’t tell her. Michael was the only person I had to talk to about it.

He scoffed, “Sorry.” He apologised quickly, “but you’re mum is thick as shit if she thinks your dad would be disappointed in you, and you’re just as bad if you believe her. What’s there to be disappointed about? I mean I might not like you, but I’d be proud to have a kid like you. You work hard. You see the best in everyone. You’re kind to everyone. What’s to be disappointed in?” He shrugged, playing it off as if it was nothing, but I couldn’t bring myself to do the same. My eyes filled with tears and I mentally cursed myself. I didn’t want to cry in front of him. I was fed up of him thinking I was weak.

“Thank you.” I muttered. “I really mean it. I…I needed to hear that.” I needed that. If Michael would be proud to have me as a daughter then I knew my father would.

“You can stay here tonight if you want. I have a spare mattress.” He shrugged. Why had I not seen kind Michael before?

“Will your parents not mind?” I asked. I didn’t want to impose on Michael, but I knew him well enough by now to know he wouldn’t have offered if it was going to bother him that much.

“Have you met my dad? You’re the daughter of a war hero. He wouldn’t even care if we were sleeping together. He’ll just tell you how much better you can do and tell me if I do anything to hurt you that I’ll be the one moving out.” I’d noticed that Michael liked to shrug a lot.

“If you’re sure.” I replied uncertainly.

“I’ll go tell him. You’re not a vegetarian are you?” he asked as he stood and walked to his door. I shook my head and watched as he left the room. I pulled out my phone to text Lizzy and let her know I wouldn’t be home tonight. I had about ten texts from Welly asking me what had happened and to call her but I ignored them. I wasnt in the mood for her.

Michael came back a few minutes later telling me it was okay for me to stay. “You’re welcome whenever apparently, and I have no say in the matter.” I laughed at the tone because Michael clearly found it amusing too.

“Thank you again.” He just nodded before pulling out his copy of King Lear that I noticed was covered in significantly more notes than the last time I had seen it. He’d been doing his work. It took all I had not to burst out in a grin.

We worked for a few more hours until we were called for dinner. I spent most of dinner trying not to wet myself from laughing. Michael’s parents spent dinner telling me all the embarrassing stories from when he was younger, like the time he was 9 and started screaming because he thought a piece of pipe lying in the garden was a snake. They couldn’t get him to go outside for a week.

“WE LIVED IN AUSTRALIA!” He argued. “SNAKES ARE DANGEROUS!” He huffed.

“Oh, but that was nothing compared to how clean he used to keep his room. He’d have to hoover his room three times a day.” His dad laughed. “Every time he saw a piece of fluff he’d run out screaming thinking it was a spider. It got to the point where we had to hide the hoover from him.” His dad laughed.

“YET AGAIN WE LIVED IN AUSTRALIA!” He groaned, banging his head on the table. I could barely breathe and when he glared at me it just set me off again.

“I’m- I’m sorry.” I gasped. “I-I just, oh god.” I cried.

“So, since we’ve had embarrassing stories about me, you have to tell us some about you.” He countered, a sly grin on his face.

“Okay, there was this one time when I was about seven…I was out with my dad. We’d gone into Kwik fit to get something and there was this really short bald man, and have you ever seen Austin Powers? Because at the top of my lungs I just began to shout ‘dad, dad, look it’s mini me!’He was mortified but everyone else was in stitches and the man was so angry he just stormed right out.” I’d been much more mindful of what I said after that. Everyone around the table burst out laughing and I couldn’t help but smile. I couldn’t remember the last time I had had a dinner like this.

When it was over I helped Mrs Clifford tidy up much to her protest, and once I had finished the dishes I followed Michael back up to his room.

“I don’t suppose you want to watch a film so you?” he asked, patting the spot next to him on his bed for me to sit.

“Sure.” I nodded. “What are we watching?”

“You’re no squeamish are you?” He asked.

“Not really. Unless it’s overly gory.” I admitted.

“Last House On The Left.” He replied, pressing play.

A smile spread across my face, “That’s one of my all time favourite films.” I grinned, leaning back against the wall.

“You surprise me sometimes Belle.” He grinned and I cringed. He’d taken to calling me Belle and there was only one other person who had ever called me that.

“Shh. It’s starting.” I stuck my tongue out before we both settled down to watch the film. It was nice. I never thought I’d be able to describe spending time with Michael like that, but it was nice. It was a nice distraction because I knew the next day I was going to have to face reality. I was going to have to go home.