Fickle Reticence

“Gerard?”

“Hm?”

“You’ve been staring at the paper without doing anything for twenty minutes,” Frank replies, “are you sure you’re in the right mindset to do anything?”

“I’m not sure I’m in the right mindset, no,” He answers affirmatively.

“Well do you want to do something else?”

“I don’t know. I feel like I want to do something, but I also feel like going to sleep. Do you know what I mean?”

“It’s eleven in the morning,” Frank replies.

“Well maybe not sleep then. A nap?”

“Do you wanna go to your dorm then?”

“No, because I don’t think I want to actually go to sleep or nap or whatever. I just feel like doing nothing, and that was the closest I could get to describing the emotion without going into far too much detail, as I just have now,” Gerard states.

“I don’t think that was too much detail,” Frank shrugs, “you lost me half way through though.”

“Oh sorry.”

“I’m only joking,” Frank says, “what do you want to do that doesn’t entail staring at one spot for long periods of time?”

“I guess that kind of terminates the idea of a movie,” Gerard says.

“Well there’s a difference between staring at a piece of paper for several minutes and watching a movie, because one of them has moving frames.”

“Are you saying that this piece of paper doesn’t have any moving frames?” Gerard asks holding up the sheet of clean paper.

“That is precisely what I’m saying,” Frank nods.

“Valid point,” Gerard shrugs.

“C’mere,” Frank says, and Gerard’s eyebrows crease in confusion. “Well do you see a fucking TV in this room? I can’t afford to actually see a movie, at, like, a theater. At least not through entirely legal means.”

“Okay?”

“So do you want to watch something or are you content at staring at that paper for another several hours?”

“No, I’m good,” Gerard answers, and stands up.

Frank is sitting on his bed, leaning against the wall, with his legs across the width of the bed. Gerard awkwardly sits across likewise parallel to Frank. He leaves a foot between them, and Frank makes a huffing noise.

“I can’t balance a fucking computer between us if you want to be that far way. Either get closer or cross your legs,” Frank says, and Gerard turns a reddish color. It suits him, actually.

Frank is a cheeky bugger, that’s true, but Gerard doesn’t necessarily mind it when he asks him to scoot closer.

“What do you want to watch?” Frank asks, when Gerard is only a few inches away. He likes the way that Gerard smells. He smells kind of herby, like rosemary. It’s different, but he likes it. It’s a fairly gender neutral smell which doesn’t exactly surprise Frank.

“It’s your computer,” Gerard replies.

“Netflix it is,” Frank responds. Frank doesn’t actually have a Netflix account. Not one that’s his own at least. The guys in the room next door have Netflix and they let Frank piggyback their password when they’re not using two devices. All of this because Frank is broke. He gets excited over quarters on the sidewalk.

~*~*~*~

Mikey enters the room roughly two hours later to find Gerard still on Frank’s bed, only with an unconscious Frank on his shoulder. Frank’s eyes are closed with his head perched on Gerard’s arm like a pillow.

“Is he asleep?” Mikey asks.

“He is,” Gerard replies.

“Ew.”

“I think he’s kind of cute.”

“Well that’s because you don’t have to hear him snore in the middle of the night,” Mikey replies.

“But he hasn’t snored at all,” Gerard says, defensively.

“How long has he been asleep?”

“About an hour,” Gerard answers looking at him from the corner of his eyes. He does look quite content and peaceful when he’s asleep. Gerard wouldn’t exactly mind seeing that every morning.

“How come you haven’t moved?”

“Well he’s sleeping on my shoulder isn’t he? I don’t want to wake him up!”

“No of course not, because that’s only what a logical person would do,” Mikey replies, “then again you think he’s cute so your logic is obviously a bit muffled.”

“But I-” Gerard starts and interrupts himself, “I don’t want to disturb him, he’s adorable.”

“And you don’t like him,” Mikey rolls his eyes, and falls onto his own bed across the room from Franks.

“Shh, he’s asleep but he could hear you!” Gerard hisses.

“But you do,” Mikey says, and it’s not a question.

“Maybe.”

“Obviously. You let the guy fall asleep on your shoulder, and then didn’t move. If that’s not a sign that you like him that I don’t know what is,” Mikey says.

“Maybe it’s just the sign that I’m a good human being.”

“Well that’s definitely not what it is,” Mikey snorts, and Gerard makes a face at him. Mikey doesn’t seem to be all that offended by it, and just shrugs as if to say ‘I am right.’

“Just do whatever it is you came here to do,” Gerard says.

“What will you do if you have to piss?” Mikey asks.

“How long do you think the boy can sleep? It’s not like he’ll be there forever!”

“I’m just saying,” Mikey answers.

“Well don’t just say, go do your shit,” Gerard says.

“You’re cranky today.”

“Fuck off,” Gerard replies.

Frank actually does wake up not long after Mikey entered the room. He’s blinking his eyes open about ten minutes later.

“Did I fall asleep?” Are his first words.

“Yes,” Mikey says, and Frank jumps a little when he sees Mikey.

“Sorry, Gerard.”

“No, it’s fine,” Gerard replies.

Mikey has to hold himself back from saying, ‘Gerard was super into it.’

Gerard obviously isn’t going to own up to it, but Mikey is pretty sure that Frank’s feelings aren’t one way. Gerard had nearly admitted it the other day, but still managed to avoid answering the question. Mikey understands partially where Gerard’s coming from, obviously he does, but at the same time, he really believes that someone liking Gerard for the zany and sporadic person they are, would be a good thing. Frank is a good candidate because Mikey doesn’t need to do any interfering to get him to like Gerard. He’s already infatuated with Gerard, so all he needs is to know that Gee is interested. Getting Gerard to show interest is the hard part though. It’s there, it’s definitely there, it just needs some excavating.

“I’ll move,” Frank says, lifting his head and then rigidly putting a few inches of space between him and Gerard. Gerard doesn’t like the way that his shoulder feels so cold without Frank there. It makes all of him kind of feel empty, and he misses it.

“I’ll uh... should I go?” Gerard asks.

“Yes,” Mikey says.

At the same time that Mikey says that though, Frank says, “no you can stay.”

“I’ll go,” Gerard says.

“You don’t have to,” Frank clarifies.

“But you’re face really repulses me so I would hope that you do,” Mikey says.

“You’re awful, Mikes,” Frank shakes his head.

“No, I am just being a loving brother,” Mikey says.

“Frank, would you freeze his toothbrush on my behalf?” Gerard asks.

“No!” Mikey shouts, “You can’t just tell him to do that with me right here. No one touch my fucking toothbrush!”

“Will do, see you later, Gerard,” Frank says. Gerard smiles at him one more time before he leaves the room.

“You had better keep your filthy mitts off my dental appliances,” Mikey says.

“Why the hell did you tell him to go? I wanted Gerard to stay!” Frank says.

“Oh I’m sorry did you need a wingman to hit on my sibling?”

“You make it sound really creepy when you say it like that,” Frank says.

“You walked into that one yourself by hitting on Gerard,” Mikey answers.

“I was not hitting on Gerard!”

Mikey rolls his eyes, “how the fuck do you define hitting on someone? I don’t think I even want to know actually.”

“I’m just a naturally flirtatious person.”

“You’re just a naturally perverted person,” Mikey says.

“I don’t see why the two can’t coincide.”

“You are so hopeless. Do you think you’re just going to passively flirt with Gerard or am I going to watch you swooning over Gee for the rest of the year?” Mikey asks.

“The latter sounds easier,” Frank admits.

Mikey doesn’t respond, but rolls his eyes again, because that’s his favorite thing to do with his spare time. Mikey is usually either rolling his eyes, worrying about Gerard, babysitting Frank or a combination of all three.