It's a Start

The rest of the week droned on, swamping me in school and work. I managed to get a really good grade on that test and I felt pretty fantastic.

But I didn’t feel really great when bills showed up. It was my first time paying them without Craig, but good thing he showed me how. I managed to get through all of them in just an hour with Craig still dancing at the front of my brain.

How was he? Should I call Brian and ask him?

Stop thinking about him or you’ll hurt yourself. I had to because he was out of my life now.

It was finally the weekend and June was here. May was done, thank god. The days would be getting hotter now, but I think I was prepared with a pool in the back. I couldn’t wait to use it more these following weeks and just relax outside.

John and I had also been talking more, mostly over text since he was busy getting ready to go away and he was practicing with his band. I woke up from a late nap to find his text message on Thursday and I was excited once again.

You up for hanging out with me this weekend?

Now today he was coming over for lunch and a movie, just like we planned. It was eleven; I was dressed in my pajamas with my glasses, a bedhead, and naked face. I was comfortable though.

He knocked on the door twice and I breathed since the doorbell didn’t make me jump. Every time someone came around and rung the doorbell, it almost made me pee my pants. Not a pretty sight, I know. I practically skipped to the door through the dining room and opened it to see him in his normal attire. Black hat, t-shirt with a jacket over it and jeans with boots. He always wore a hat; I don’t think I’ve ever seen him without one.

I welcomed him in and he liked my outfit for today, which I pushed him for making fun of it. “No really,” he insisted with a laugh. “It suits you.” I rolled my eyes and led him through the archway. “Wow. Talk about stocked up with records. Garrett would be very impressed.” He said while I watched him walk over toward all the records and scope out a few he liked.

“Who’s Garrett?” I questioned while going into the kitchen to figure out what we could eat.

“He plays bass in the band.”

I nodded even though he probably couldn’t see me with his distracted eyes on my records. “What do you want to eat?” I turned around when I heard his footsteps and he pulled off his jacket, draping it over the chair.

“Anything’s fine,” he shrugged.

“I make a pretty good mac and cheese,” I said while pulling out the box and facing him.

He laughed, pointing at it. “It’s in a box. All you have to do is boil some water and pour the shit in.”

I shrugged violently, “You’re the one who likes American food.”

“That I do, thanks for remembering.”

I rolled my eyes again and shooed him out. “Go pick a movie.” He chuckled behind me and walked toward the many choices. Ten minutes later, we were sat on the couch with the bowls between our laps as the movie started playing. Of course I’d never seen it.

Our empty bowls were sitting on the coffee table in front of us and I was wrapped up in a blanket with my feet under me. John’s were, and had been, planted on the ground the whole time.

Even though the movie was playing and he was obviously into it, I asked him what I’d been thinking about. “How come you always wear that hat?”

He looked over at me and I turned my head toward him, adjusting my glasses a little. “I don’t know. Habit, I guess.”

I tested him with my eyes and pulled my hand out from under the blanket only to grab the hat and pull it off his head. My eyes widened and I laughed loudly. “You’re in desperate need of a haircut, my friend.”

“Shut up,” he smiled, taking his hat back. “I know it’s bad, but I’m just lazy.”

“Really lazy.”

He glared at me playfully and I laughed again, focusing back on the movie. My phone lit up beside me with a text from Mindy, but I ignored it due to John sitting next to me. When the credits rolled up, I threw the blanket onto John and grabbed our bowls while he laughed.

We ended up watching three more movies for the rest of the afternoon and I texted Mindy a couple times. She was telling me about her day when John’s phone rang in his pocket. I got up to give him some privacy and I opened the backdoor to step outside and listen to the peaceful night. A few stars were out, but I couldn’t find the moon anywhere. It started to drizzle so I made my way back inside to find John putting his jacket on.

“Hey, I have to go. Thanks for the movies and the mac and cheese.”

I nodded, crossing my arms and walking toward the door with him. “Anytime.”

“Hopefully I’ll see you before we leave, but if not then see you later.” He said while backing up outside.

“Get a haircut, boy.”

“You get a haircut, girl.”

“My hair is perfectly fine and I like it.”

“So is mine and I like it,” he stated cheerfully. I shook my head and said goodnight.

A pill knocked me out for the rest of the night and I woke up around nine with a craving for another fruit smoothie. I added in strawberries and a banana, drinking it at the counter and opening my laptop.

I made a sour face when Craig’s name came up on my phone. We had to talk sooner or later and I wasn’t planning on later.

“I’m kind of busy,” I said as I answered his call.

“I’m sorry, Andrea. I was being a jerk and I just miss what we used to be.”

I sighed, staring at the fridge on the other side of the kitchen. “I get that and like I’ve said a thousand times before: I feel terrible. There’s nothing more that I want than for you to be happy, Craig.”

“I appreciate that. I’ll try the best I can, okay?”

“Okay,” I said quietly. “Friends?”

“Friends.” He repeated with a much happier tone. I really hope he wasn’t faking it because I was being serious.

“Hey,” I stopped him. “Call me when you find someone. I want to be at the wedding.”

He laughed a little and that pleased me. “I’ll see you around, Andrea.”

My shoulders loosened at the sound of that and we hung up. I went back to my computer and school, my whole head focusing on just that. I really hope Craig would turn out okay. He needed it.

I had the night off from work since they were renovating. We were getting new tables and chairs, along with a new countertop. It was still wood, but they were polishing it.

I relaxed by the pool for today, getting a little tan and sticking my feet in the water. I didn’t go fully in, not really in the mood for it. The Smiths vinyl was playing from inside the house while I relaxed and Mindy was talking to me on the other side of the phone. She was pretty happy about not having to work today, inviting me out with her for a girl’s night sometime next week.

Leah showed up on my doorstep with Connor, the two of three I met when Craig took me out. They wore smiles on their faces and Leah held lasagna in both of her hands. I welcomed them in, apologizing for my pajamas, but Leah said I looked comfy so it was fine.

“We just wanted to catch up a little with you. See how you’re doing,” Connor said politely and I knew they were trying to be okay with me. If they were making this much of an effort then I would too.

The light of attention was on me the entire dinner. Connor sat at the head of the table while Leah sat across from me. They asked how school and work were going and said I’d been doing great with the progress I made. Sleeping pills weren’t a matter that I wanted to bring up, especially telling them that I didn’t sleep well without them.

Leah and I met back in middle school, becoming friends right away and she told me how we had sleepovers every weekend. She was my best friend, she knew me more than anyone probably. I had to keep her around because I knew she’d get sad if I left her behind too.

Connor and Craig were best friends as well when we met in high school and I introduced Leah and him one day during senior year. They’d been together ever since.

“I’m sorry about all this.”

“Don’t apologize,” Leah shook her head at me while Connor agreed with her. “None of this is your fault. It’s not Craig’s either.”

Connor spoke up next. “You’re our best friend no matter what. We don’t care if you forgot everything about your whole entire life.”

Leah swatted at his arm. “What he’s trying to say is that you’re still our friend and we still care about you just the same.”