It's a Start

Two familiar boys walked through the front door of the bar and they smiled as they spotted me behind the counter.

We had another band on stage tonight and there were many adults in the room, thirsty for booze and a good time. They handed me their money eagerly, asking if they could buy me a drink and I took up a few offers, but kept on task with working.

Eric and Tim sat in the bar stools across from me and I sent them a small smile. “How have you guys been?” I asked curiously, pouring drinks for both of them.

They shrugged, probably wondering more about how I was instead of them. They kept that question to themselves though and handed over their money. I gave them a smile and turned around toward the register to put the paper in, facing the crowd of people as they stepped inside and others made room for them. Eric and Tim’s eyes stayed on me, but I didn’t look over at them while I greeted other customers and filled their glasses, taking their money. Mindy was coming in late tonight, seeing her parents with Jasper because she was sharing good news and I couldn’t wait to hear.

Eric and Tim were on their second beer, talking to each other until more of their friends came and they migrated toward a table. I filled the tray with their drinks and brought them over, setting them down on the table. I caught Eric’s glance and saw that sad look in his eyes, but ignored it and turned around to head back behind the counter.

Thirty minutes later and now here I was, leaning against the back of the building and smoking a cigarette. Mindy’s car pulled through the wide-enough alley and she parked in the lot. I watched her get out and walk over to me with her bag on her arm and a big smile on her face. She hugged me and I held my cigarette away from her as we did.

“How was dinner?” I asked curiously as she leaned against the wall with me too.

She grinned and nodded. “Pretty good.”

“What’s the good news?” She bit her lip excitedly, but didn’t get a chance to tell me before my phone was ringing in my hand. I looked back at her with wide eyes. “It’s John.”

“Answer it!” She encouraged. “I’ll just tell you later.”

I gave her an apologetic look and watched her walk inside through the backdoor. I licked my lip and answered it before he could go to my voicemail. That was not going to happen because this could possibly be the only time I’d get to talk to him for the rest of the summer. “Can I just explain before we say anything?”

“Yeah.” My muscles relaxed from the sound of his voice.

I took a drag and blew the smoke away before explaining what happened to me and why I dropped off the face of the Earth. “I had an anxiety attack just before I was supposed to leave and basically I thought I was dying because of how much I couldn’t breathe. For that whole week, I was panicking and just thinking of the worst possible things that could go wrong. I know you might not believe me because we haven’t talked in a while and you probably think I took that time as an advantage to think up a story like this, but it’s true. I wanted to see you, I really did, but my brain just told me no and I’m sorry.” I let out a long sigh after rambling on and waited for him to say something, bringing the stick to my lips.

“You really have nothing to apologize for, Andrea,” he said softly and it made me think of how much I missed his rough voice. “I kind of get why it all happened because you’ve never been on a plane and I understand that. If you were that uneasy about it, you could’ve called me up and told me that you weren’t okay with it. I would’ve been fine with that instead of just standing at the airport and looking like an idiot.”

“I’m sorry,” I sighed, putting my head in my hand with my now stubbed out cigarette by my feet.

“It’s okay,” he chuckled a little. “I was upset about it because I built myself up and I only let myself down when I didn’t hear from you.”

“I let you down, you mean.”

“No, you didn’t. I’m okay now because we’re talking. I was just being a jerk.”

“Yeah, you were being a jerk.”

He laughed on the other side, making me smile. “That makes me feel so much better about myself.”

“I knew it would.”

We were quiet for a few minutes and I moved off the wall, kicking a small pebble while wrapping my arm around myself. “I’ll see you in two weeks, Andy.”

“See you soon, dork.” I smiled to myself. We hung up then and I felt a lot better after that conversation.

Mindy was happy to see me in a better mood when I came out of the backroom. She squealed knowing that John and I were alright now and I hugged her around the shoulders. I was just so happy about it.

We served drinks for the next hour and I glanced at her just ten minutes before we’d be closing and remembered that she had good news.

“Hey,” I bumped her arm when I walked over to her and she set down her phone. “What’s the good news?”

She most likely forgot about telling me too and an exuberant look took the place of her blank one and she grabbed both of my hands. Her lips pressed together and she looked up at me with the happiest eyes ever. “I’m pregnant.”

My mouth dropped open and I gripped her hands. “Oh my God!” I hugged her tightly then while she laughed. “Congratulations! How far along are you?”

“Three weeks.” She was so thrilled.

I cheered and hugged her again, wanting to congratulate her a thousand times if I could. This was such a special thing for her and – Jasper! He must’ve been so happy when they found out too. Mindy and Jasper fucking Oakley were having a baby and I could not wait for he or she to come! Wait, what if Mindy has twins? Oh my God, I’m so happy for her!

All the while I was thinking of what they would look like, Mindy disrupted my thoughts with one very special question.

“Can you be the godmother?”

Never in my few months of living so far did I think I’d be a godmother.