Dreaming a Dream

8 weeks
That’s how long it’s been.
2 months
Since Kari has even looked at me , let alone talked to me.
I’ve been sleeping outside of that room since , my back’s killing me and I have a cold but I will not sleep in our room , alone and cold.
No. Until Karina forgives me , I will no longer see that room as a place I can sleep in. All I do in that room is shower and dress.
But it’s not the room I miss , it’s the girl I share it with.
I can’t believe it’s been two months since I last talked , kissed , hugged my girl. My beautiful , perfect wife and I can’t even hold her.
We’ve been married for almost 4 months and for 2 of them I’ve spent outside the guest bedroom she sleeps in hoping she’d just forgive me.
I miss her.
I miss her laughs , her kisses , her smile.
God , I miss her smile. That beautiful smile she gives me , her uttering “I love you” to me.
I need her to forgive me. I need her to talk to me , to tell me she loves me.
I’m going crazy here and I know that someday soon she will file for divorce , I do deserve it but God , I can’t ... I will not survive without Kari.
She’s been my rock since we became friends back in pre-school and I can’t bear to loose her.
All I’m hoping for is one small sign that she’s on the verge of forgiving me and I know Tanya said she will forgive me soon but when is soon?
Will she forgive me after divorce , saying we needed to start over or what?
All I know is : I need Karina like I need air to breathe and without her I will not make it.
I will not make it alone.