Beyond the Sea

It's been three days.

Three days since I've seen Nathan, since I've seen anyone.

I've locked myself in my apartment, never once coming out. I turned my phone off and locked myself from the outside world. Not once did anyone come and check on me to see if was dead or alive. I guess they didn't care about me, Nathan didn't care about me.

In these past couple of days I've thought about this whole Nathan situation, and I've come to a conclusion about Nathan, and I'm not going deny myself from it.

I fell for him.

I fell for him hard, at first I thought that it was the sex and nothing more, but no there was more. The way he looked at me, when he hugged me, or kissed me. Those were the little things that made me fall for him, but Nathan was just too much of a pussy to admit it. The reason why we did argue all the time, was because there were feelings attached to everything. Nathan and I both tried to deny it, but there was nothing that I could hide about it. But now, he was leaving tomorrow morning and they were going to be gone, he was going to be gone. All of this would be dead and gone.

I got up from my bed and made my way over to the living room to spend another one of these days sitting my ass on the couch and not moving until I was tired, and ready to go to bed. I switched the lights off and snuggled under the blanket watching re-runs of White Collar. I felt something stabbing at the side of my thigh, I reached my hand under and pulled out my phone. So thats where that little sucker was. I hesitantly turned it on and found 267 text messages, a mixture from everyone, 76 missed calls, and 24 voicemail's. I deleted all of them and threw it my phone across the phone. I continued to watch the TV and snuggled under the covers once again. Then my phone buzzed, ugh who was it now.

1 new message; Kelseyismybitch

Kelseyismybitch- Sophie are you alive?

ToKelseyismybitch- No I'm dead, don't bother coming to my funeral.

I got up from the couch and made my way to the kitchen to grab some water and then went back to the living room to find my phone vibrating against the coffee table. I went to grab it and saw the Michelle was calling.

"Hello?" I said with clear annoyance in my voice. "Well it's good to hear your voice again Sophie." Michelle added sarcastically."Hey! At least I'm not dead, right?" I retorted back.

"Well quite a bummer that is, isn't it." I could practically hear the smirk in her voice."Ha! You're hilarious Mich, now what the hell did you call me for." "What? A friend can't call a friend?"

"No."

"No?"

"No as in, I know you want something." I ran a hand through my hair frustrated with this girl." Well you know how Max and I are engaged right?" "I wasn't born yesterday Michelle." I huffed at her.

"Well I decided to just go look at a couple dresses today, just to get an idea. And well, I was wondering if you wanted to come?" I paused for a couple of seconds and then asked."Who's going?" "Everyone." In that case hell no.

"No, I feel sick." I heard a mixture of groans and mumbling through the phone. "Michelle?" I asked... Nothing.

"Michelle." "Yeah Sophie hold on give me a second." I sat on the couch, biting my nails with my phone pressed up between my shoulder and ear. I heard the door slam shut through the phone and then someone playing around with the phone.

"Sophie?"

"Michelle?"

"Since you're in a mood today, I sent over Nathan who is also in a terrible mood over to you're place. Because I will not deal with both of you while you're on periods while I'm dress shopping?" What the actual fuck did she do?

"What! No, well probably just end up killing each other. You wouldn't want that, know would you?" No I could not have Nathan come over here, I was done with him.

"Good, if you guys kill each other, than that means that I have room for two extra people at my wedding." "No Shit Sherlock, seriously though I'm going to kill you when I lay my hands on you." I heard an infectious laugh through her, which I assumed was Jays." Am I on speaker?" "No.... But that reminds me, we'll be done with the dresses at 9pm and after that we're picking you and Nath up for a good bye dinner."

I looked at the time and saw that it was 4:29. " Michelle seriously are you going to shop for 5 hours. "Yup." She said bluntly. I groaned and sprawled my self against the couch. "What time is Nath coming."

"He should be there any second, Bye Soph!"

"Wait Michelle..." I threw my phone angrily across the room, not caring if it broke or not. I wans't ready to see Nathan, not now. If I saw him, all my walls would break down. He'll just make me fall for him all over, I can't do that.
I've got to stand my guard. The sound of the doorbell caught me out of my trance. I pushed myself up and dragged my body to the door and opened it.

There he was.

I felt my breathing go uneven at the sight of him. He was wearing a pair of sweatpants and sweatshirt, his hair was hidden under a beanie. He looked so, so broken. No, Sophie. Nothing was going to happen again. I tore my eyes away from him and stepped aside to let him in. He walked in with his head hanging low and sat on the couch. He looked up at me and that's when I saw it.

He was crying.

That's all it took, I walked right past him and into my room. I slammed the door behind me and fell onto my bed, crying my sorrows into my pillow. Why was this happening again? He wasn't worth all of my tears, but somehow he still made me cry. I was so confused over everything, he acts like he doesn't care, but then again he does care. He told me he was jealous of me, and then he acts like nothing happens.

All of this happened because I fell for him.

I heard the door open, I pulled the blanket tighter around me and sunk my head farther into my pillow. I felt Nathan sit on my bed next to me and just stay still there. My back was facing him and I kept my head on the pillow, a couple of tears falling down.

Next thing I knew he climbed in under the cover and pulled my body back to towards his. His arms were wrapped around my waist and his head was gently placed on my neck. I didn't know what to do, I was motionless. His touch made me erupt into a hysteric fit of tears. I quietly sobbed, making sure Nathan didn't hear me, but that seemed to not work. I moved him away from me and turned around to meet his face, tears were streaming down his face.

It broke my heart.

His eyes were red and puffy and they were closed. I winced at the sight of him and gently placed my thumb on his cheek attempting to wipe his tears away. Why did this have to happen me? I kept on wiping his tears away attempting to fight mine back, but I just couldn't help it. One by one there were streaming down my face, Nathan opened his eyes to meet mine. He frowned and pulled me closer to him, I lade my head on his chest pouring my tears as well as he was. We were crying together.

No words were exchanged yet, all that we needed was each other. I lifted my head up and just looked at him. "Nathan, why do you keep on doing this." He lifted both of us gently so I was straddling his waist and facing him. I started playing with the hairs that were sticking out from his beanie. "What do you mean."

"I mean that you have a girlfriend, that you love very much, but you somehow end up in this situation with me."He looked away from my gaze and out the window. "I know that Sophie, you're making me feel guilty."

"Hell! You should feel guilty, you're cheating on her!" I snorted back. "Don't you think I know I that? Don't you think that when I'm kissing her, I only think about you!"

"That's the problem Nathan, you can't do that! This was just a little fling. Tomorrow you're going to forget about me, and stay with Dionne. Go it?" My voice was nearly cracking at thought of lying to him. I had to tell him that I was just a fling. I couldn't let him now how much I fell for him.

"I can't do that Sophie." I cupped his face into my hands and he placed his hands around mine. "Do it for me."I leaned in and placed my lips on his, one of his hands were placed on the back of my head running his hands through my hair and his other hand was gently holding my waist. His lowered his face into the nape of my neck and left a trail of kisses all around my collarbone. My hands were playing with his hair that kept on brushing against me. He gently placed me over on the side of the bed and stopped kissing me. We both looked at each other, not looking away.

"I need you for one last time."

I tear rolled down my cheek and I nodded. I was going to miss him. He lowered his lips down to mine once again and captured our lips. I bit his bottom lip and he let out a moan, his hands found the bottom of my shirt and pulled it over me. I rolled us over so I was on top of him again, I started kissing his neck and let my hands roam under his top. His body flinched at the touch of my skin and I smiled against his neck. I pushed his shirt over him and lowered my head onto his chest so that I was leaving kisses everywhere. He threw his head back and I couldn't help but giggle. His hands made there way to the back of my bra and unclasped it, throwing it behind me. I blushed and looked down, but he just made me look up at him once again.

"I'm going to miss you Sophie."

"I'm going to miss you too Nathan."

-----

I made my way to the car with Nathan following behind me. Those couple of hours that we had alone, were now all gone. I wasn't able to be 'anything' with him now. I opened the door and made my way to sit in between Tom and Kelsey, while Nathan sat in the passenger seat in the front. I looked next to him and saw that Max was driving.

"Max what are you doing?"

"Driving?" Was he even tall enough to drive

"Are you even aloud to drive here." He started driving down my street onto 83rd. I guess he was. "Not really, but I don't care." "Okay, if you say so."

I sat back into my seat, relaxing and think about Nathan and I earlier. The way he left kisses all over my body and how he made me feel, was all going to be gone in the matter of hours. I felt something flick behind me to see Michelle sat next to Dionne and Nathan in the back. I raise an eyebrow at her.

"Can I help you?" She shrugged her shoulders "I'm just glad you didn't kill Nathan." I laughed sarcastically at her and flipped the finger.

I turned my head and looked up at Jay who was looking out the window. "Bird.." he turned around and faced me. "Where's Nare and Seev?"

"There back at the hotel cooking dinner." I gasped in a jokingly matter "They can cook?" He laughed and threw his head back.

"Alright were here." Max said while getting out of the car, one by one we made our way out and into the elevator. We all squished in and waited until we were finally on our floor. The elevator doors finally opened and we made our way into the penthouse. I stepped in and threw my purse onto the couch, while the others made their way to the dining room table, I quickly followed them.

There was so much food that I have never seen before, chicken and pasta, vegetables, rice, and all that crap.

"Are we feeding the entire world?" I said jokingly and sat down in between Kelsey and Nareesha making sure to sit as far away as possible from Nathan."No this all for you Soph." Seev said while pouring white for everyone. I looked back at him and stuck my tongue out.

An hour later and we were all completely and utterly stuffed the as so much food. We were currently having desert when Siva stood up and raised his glass,"Everyone I'd like to make a toast."

"I wan't to thank all of you for these amazing two weeks, it was a much needed vacation and I know that we all had fun. Especially all the girls with the shopping. But most of all I want to make this toast to Sophie." I looked up and saw everyone stare back at me, tears started forming in my eyes.

"We are all so grateful of meeting you this week, I've got no idea what our life would of been without you in it this week. Here's to new friends." We all raised our glasses clinging it against each other. I set my glass down and ran to Siva engulfing him into a hug. "Thank you!" I started crying hysterically at the thought of all of them leaving. He hugged me tighter. Next thing I knew I was brought into another pair of arms and they were Michelle's.

"I'm going to miss you soo much." She pulled me back. "I know babe, I know." I loosened my grip around her "I should probably get going you guys have to be at the airport soon." She smiled sadly and nodded. I let go and made my way over to Nareesha and hugging her tiny body."I'm going to miss you babe, love you!" She hugged me back. "We'll keep in touch." I nodded and went over to Kelsey. I quickly jumped on her making her fall back.

"That's what you get for jumping on me last week bitch!" She laughed and I got off her, helping her onto her feet. I hugged her and she spoke." I'll miss you babe." I smiled "Me too." I walked over to "Tom, stay a good boy, okay?" he gave me creepy smile and hugged me tightly. I walked across the room to jump on Jays back. "I'm going fucking miss you Bird." he started running around the kitchen with me on his back and finally placing me in front of Max. "I'll miss you too."

"Max, you better take care of my secret lesbian lover." He laughed and hugged me tightly. "I will." I gently punched his arm and grimaced my way to Dionne. Tears were still falling down my cheeks, I couldn't stop it. "Love you, stay in touch, yeah?" she nodded and stepped aside so I could say bye to Nathan. Here it was, our last minute together. I walked over to him and hugged him in a friendly matter but I stepped onto my toes and whispered so no one could here us.

"Don't start what you can't finish."

I pulled away while making my way to the door, I looked back at them one last time and blew them a kiss while walking out the door. I ran out of the hotel, all the way to my apartment, tears streaming down my face. I finally made it to my apartment, out of breath and opened it and slammed it behind me. I slid down the wall, hugging my body tighter around me crying uncontrollably, they were gone.

He was gone.