Beyond the Sea

Nathan's P.O.V

I wanted to run after her, I really did but I couldn't. She walked out and that was it, I wouldn't see her anymore. She was gone and I couldn't have her, I couldn't hug her, I couldn't kiss her.

Did I really care about her, or was I just using her?

That's the question that I've been asking myself all week, and I did care about her. There's was no other reason why I wanted to kiss her, why I wanted to hug her, why I was jealous. Did I do something wrong, of course I cheated. But in these past two weeks I've regret nothing, all of this was meant to be for a purpose. I don't know why I did all of this, but there was just something about her that made me do it. But I had reality to face and I had to leave this world of fascination and move onto something that was real.

We weren't real.

"Alright mate, ready to go?" Max called from the front door, everyone was stood there with their luggage in hand. I nodded and made my way over grabbing my luggage and walked out the door, before shutting the door a flood of memories came rushing in.

The first time I saw her last week "Baby Nath?" She raised an eyebrow. " No! I'm not a baby I'm 19, they just always tease me for being the youngest."

The make out session in the closet of the club, My hands moved from her waist, to her thighs and finally to her hair, I was playing with it. Her hands were on the back of my hair running throughout it.

Or the night we spent in her room just admiring the night scene and the way I held her in my arms. "Shhh, don't talk about her. It's only about you and me right now." I said while pulling her into my chest. She gently laid her head on my chest with her arm dragged across my torso. My hands were softly placed on her waist, trying to make us as close as possible.

That time that we were making out the bathroom just across the hall from Dionne."All that I want is you." that's all that it took for our lips to press against each other. I embraced her into my arms while placing my hands on either side of her waist gently. Her hands were placed on my chest, trying to make our bodies as close as possible.

The morning when she was cooking breakfast."But that clearly isn't stopping you know is it Sophie." I placed two fingers under her chin and placed my hand on er ass while pulling her closer to me and kissing her passionately. I started licking her bottom lip, She took the opportunity and bit my tongue. I pulled back and shot her confused look.

Some many memories happened in this very penthouse. I shut the door behind me and followed everyone into the lift, I trailed behind them and squeezed myself in between them.

A smile spread across my face at the thought of the what happened between Sophie and I, when we were stuck in the lift. I left a trail of kisses down her stomach, She squirmed under my touch. I forcefully held her hands by my side while I took off the only piece of clothing left on her. She rolled us over once again so she was on top again. She kicked of my jeans and boxers at the same time. Sophie lowered her head down and kissed me once again.

We made our way to the car, I opened the back trunk and shoved my luggage in along with Dionne's. I closed the trunk and followed behind her making my way into the car, I climbed in sitting closest to the door with Dionne sitting next to me laying her head on my shoulder. I kissed her temple and wrapped my arms around her tiny waist. She couldn't know what I did to her, it would only hurt her and she didn't deserve that. She didn't deserve me, I cheated her. What kind of fucked up boyfriend cheats on thier girlfriend. The one and only Nathan Sykes. But I just couldn't resist myself from Sophie, she was just something else.

I laid my head on the window attempting to get some sleep before we arrived at Newark, but I couldn't get the memory that Sophie and I spent in this very car with her. "Look who's the little fucker now." she playfully shoved me while leaning in for a kiss. I grabbed her face while stroking her hair, She grasped my shirt while I leaned her in towards me. I pushed her into my lap so this turned into a full make out session.

But I was leaving and I couldn't do anything about it.

Three hours later we were all in the airport ready for our flight to be called, everyone was sleeping excluding me. I kept on looking behind my shoulder hoping that maybe Sophie would come any minute and we could finally be together. That's what I wanted, I wanted Sophie not Dionne. I wanted to call Sophie mine, I wanted kiss her, I wanted to feel her. But, that was never going to happen so why try now?

"Flight number 46 to Heathrow is now boarding, all passengers make your way to the gates." the intercom call out loud and clear which made everyone wake up. I looked down and saw Dionne gathering her stuff she looked up at me. "You ready." I nodded interlocking our fingers and making my way to board the plane. I looked behind me one more time to see if Sophie was coming. She wasn't coming, I wasn't going to see her ever again. I turned my head back around and made my way into the plane.

Dionne and I sat in our seats with me sitting closest to the window. We were taking off in 10 minutes and we were just waiting for the other passengers to settle down.

This was actually happening, I was leaving. I was leaving Sophie behind. I was leaving everything that happened between us, all of the memories.

The first time we kissed, the way her lips felt against mine felt nothing like how it felt with Dionne. Her eyes locked with mine and then down to my lips, we were inching closer and closer together. Our noses pressed against each other, we could hear our heavy breathing. Her lips met mine.

The night she kissed Jay and she made me jealous.

To Sophie- You go and fucking decide to snog my mate?

Sophie- I wasn't the only one, you were fucking making out with Dionne? You're not the only one who can have some fun.

The quickie that we had in the bathroom. "Nathan cut the crap, I... I ne..need you now." "Just be patient." I placed kisses from her shoulders one by one and then finally arriving at her mouth. I hoisted her up onto the counter and placed myself in between her legs. She started nibbling on my ear, and I stiffened.

That amazing night that we spent together was the most incredible night in my life. The way I kissed her body, and felt her skin against me was all gone now. All those times that I made her cry broke my heart, I didn't want her to feel like that. My hands made there way to the back of her bra and unclasped it, throwing it behind her. She blushed and looked down, but I just made her look up at me once again."I'm going to miss you Sophie." "I'm going to miss you too Nathan."

But now I was leaving and I couldn't do anything about it.

"You alright Nath." Dionne said.

"Yeah I'm fine just thinking." she placed her head on my shoulders.

"Whatcha thinking about?"

"Just about these past weeks they've been absolutely amazing, all the memories have just been unforgettable."

She yawned and I felt her head nod against my shoulder. "I know it's been amazing, but I'm going to miss Sophie. She was so nice and caring, I'll really miss her."

"Me too." More than you know. I sighed and leaned my head against the window talking in the scenery, all the buildings were far away but the lights still shone bright. It really was an amazing sight.

What did Sophie mean by Don't start what you can't finish? Did she never want any of this to happen, because by the looks of it, it looked like she was okay with it. But deep down inside I know that there's a small spot hidden in her heart for me.

Just then I felt Dionne's body fall limp and I looked down to see that she fell asleep. I placed my arm around her and brought her body closer to mine. The plane started down the runway, and making it's way into the air. I looked out the window and a tear rolled down my cheek. This was really happening, I was leaving. I placed my hand on the window and blew out a kiss to the City.

"Goodbye Sophie."

-----

Ten hours later and I was already in my flat in London. These past couple of hours have been exhausting but I just couldn't fall asleep. Dionne was already in our bedroom sound asleep but here I was in the kitchen fiddling with my fingers. I decided to actually do something with my life and start unpacking my suitcases. I went over and unzipped them one by one and I took out my shirts and SnapBacks when something caught my eye from the pocket of the suitcase. I reached over and found that it was a paper. I opened it and inside it read.

Nathan,

I don't know if you're ever going to see this but when you do I want you read it. I know I've been a total bitch sometimes these past two couple of weeks. But the reason why, is because I couldn't come to terms with the fact that you were leaving. I wanted you but then I didn't want to screw your relationship up with Dionne. I see the way you look at her Nath, you love her. I know you do. That's something that well never have, it's impossible to have. We both live across the world from each other and it was never going to work out. I want you to know that these past to weeks were magical and unforgettable, I don't regret a single thing. I'm not going to lie to you Nath, I fell for you. I fell to hard for my liking. But for the sanity of both you and I, forget this ever happened. Forget all of those moments, forget about me. Keep on loving Dionne, she's the one that your supposed to be with. Please don't make any stupid decisions.Do it for me.

Love,
Sophie

I clutched the letter tighter around me, trying to fight back the tears but I just couldn't. One by one they slid down. How was I so stupid to end up in a situation like this. But I had to forget about all of this like she said. I needed too, there was no other way. I ran out of the flat as fast as I could, and ran to the nearest park. I laid my back across the grass and just looked up into the sky. I pulled out my phone and dialed the person that I most dread to hear. Two rings, three rings, four rings, nothing. I was just about to hang up when I heard something over the phone.

"Hello?" there was the voice that I most dreaded to hear.

"Sophie...."

"Nathan, what? Why did you call me?" I could hear the frustration in her voice.

"I read the letter."

"Oh......"

"Care to explain." I got up from the grass and made my way to the farthest bench, away from everyone else. "I don't have to explain anything, Nathan. Everything's in there."

"So you really did mean it when you said you fell for me." I was scared for what her response was going to be, what if she lied only to make me feel better.

"Of course! I meant every word of it Nath, especially the Dionne part."

"What why?"

"Why Nath? Because you need to FUCKING get over me Nath, seriously. It hurts me too much to see you with her."

I could hear the shakiness in her voice. "But we can be together Sophie."

"No we fucking can't Nath, can't you understand that? I live across the world." I pause momentarily before continuing. "It doesn't matter."

"Answer me one thing Nathan, if you do then I'll be yours."

"What is it."

"Do you still love Dionne." Did I? I mean she everything to me. Shes the world to me, we've been through so much together. Everything about her was perfect, but Sophie made me question my relationship with her.

"I....I.. Erm, yes?" "Would you leave her for me?" That's a question that actually never came across my mind. Would I leave Dionne, my girlfriend who I've been dating for a year for a girl that I've only known for two weeks. They were both completely different, Dionne was the type of girl that I would sit in the flat all day with a cuppa and enjoy each other's company. With Sophie everything was different she was this amazing American girl that always liked to drink and party. I just stayed silent not knowing what to say.

"Exactly Nath, you love her not me. We were nothing compared to what you two are. You need to forget about me Nath, I'm only doing damage to you're life and I'm not willing to live throughout that."

"Wh..wh..what do you mean by that." I attempted to fight back the tears and choke out the words.

I heard her give a couple of breathes out before starting again. "I mean that this is it Nathan, this is the end. There's no more us. There's no more hiding, no more lying, no more cheating we need to end this, and we need to forget about it."

Tears started rolling down my cheeks. "But I can't Sophie, I care about you way too much. I just can't forget all of those moment's that we've spent together. You're lying if you don't remember all those moments we've had together.

"But you will Nathan, you're not going to remember me and you're going to live with the women that you love the most."

Oh god no, I couldn't loose her. Not now. "But I want you Sophie Leigh, I need you."

"You can't have me."

"Sophie please give me a chance." I was in the verge flipping out now. "No Nathan, I won't let you hurt Dionne. She doesn't deserve what you did to her."

"But....."

"No buts Nathan, it's over.... You n..need to g..get over me." I heard the tears in her voice through the phone. This wasn't how all of this was supposed to turn out, I wasn't supposed to break her heart.

"Is this a goodbye?"

"It's a good bye Nathan." I heard something crash against the floor. "Sophie, Sophie are you okay?" I kept on waiting until I heard someone pickup.." Damn it Sophie answer me!."

"Nathan please stop, I can't take it anymore, just hang up."

I ran my fingers through my hair. "G..good bye Sophie."

"Good bye Nathan." she whispered into the phone and the hung up.

It was over.