Beyond the Sea

"Sophie, come on."

"No."

"Get out."

"No."

"Come on."

"No."

"Everyone's waiting downstairs."

"I don't care."

Here I was arguing with Jay on the other side of the door, he kept on persuading me to hurry up and finish my make up. We all decided on having a somewhat sober night, and just go to the local bar. But that doesn't mean I'll stay sober. Whenever alcohol and I are in the same room, I always ended up wasted and doing something stupid by the end of the night.

"Sophie hurry the hell up." Jay banged on the door trying to get me out of there. I applied one last coat of mascara and I was done.

"Don't get you're panties in a twist." I said while walking out and Jay just stuck his tongue out at me.

"Yeah, whatever but let's go everyone's waiting for you downstairs." he started towards the door and I made my towards the opposite side of the room.

"What do you need know." Jay whined out like a six year old.

"My shoes." I said while pointing towards my bare feet. I walked over to my closet and picked out my favorite pair of Nude Jimmy Choo Anouk Pumps.

"I see someone's trying to impress Nathan, now aren't they." I started walking towards the door grabbing my Steve Madden studded handbag. "You know it."

I winked and closed the door behind me and walked towards the stairs, just standing there not moving an inch. All of a sudden I felt nervous all over again, this plan was going into action. Every thing was about change, I could easily loose or win him back. I'm pretty sure, I was playing fire with both.

"Ready to go, boyfriend." I said while emphasizing boyfriend and turning to face Jay.

"Ready than ever, girlfriend." he said while mimicking me. He grabbed my hair and
Aced them together, continuing on this act. I had to tell you, this felt weird and strange but I'm pretty sure at the end of this, it was all going to worth it. We both made our way down the stairs to find everyone waiting impatiently at the door way, Kelsey gave me an annoyed face and I just walked winked in response.

"Looks like you've decided to join us tonight Soph." Kelsey scoffed jokingly.

"You know I wouldn't miss it for the world." I remarked back at her while putting on my leather jacket, seeing as the London whether was chilly tonight.

"Yeah, yeah well let's go." Max said while opening the door and walking out. I trailed behind them, Jay placing his hand on my lower back. I could feel eyes burning into me, I looked over my shoulder and saw Nathan's eyes firmly locked with mine. He scrunched up his nose almost in disgust, I just huffed and turned my head and got into the car. I got in and sat nearest to the window with Jay next to me and Max and Michelle were driving.

"Did you see that." Jay whispered into my ear barley audible. I turned my head and gave him a puzzled look, not understanding what he was going on about. "No, what."

"Nathan's face."

I grinned like an idiot and nodded my head and brought my lips closer to his ear. He leaned in closer to me and I latched my hand onto his neck. "He's starting to get jealous." He bit his lip and nodded, I just giggled.

This was actually working.

Nathan was actually starting getting jealous, he's come to realize that he's slowly loosing me, and he can't do anything about. Now Jay and I just had to go on with this and see where it leads us.

"So Michelle's how's the wedding coming along? I asked Michelle who was sitting in the passenger seat, in the front. She turned her head and smiled.

"Great, it's exactly in a week. And I couldn't be more excited." Max grabbed Michelle's hand and interlocked them, hen started rubbing it with his thumb, I let out a sigh inside. Why were they so perfect together, Michelle did an amazing job choosing him. She had an amazing person by her side going through everything with her thick and thin. I've always had a huge dream of having someone like that for me, but the chances of that were getting slimmer and slimmer.

"But that reminds, me we've gotta go to your fitting tomorrow." I groaned and threw my head onto Jay's shoulder. Dress fitting really wasn't my thing. "Aww geez, stop complaining and it'll be over before you know it." I huffed and just sat there. Jay pulled me closer into him and leaned into him.

"So Sophie, what about you and Jay, huh? When did this start?" I shot my head up and looked at Jay. His eyes grew wide, we always forgot to plan things like this out. He nodded his head towards Michelle, telling me I should make something up. I bit my nails anxious and nodded my head. He rolled his eyes and pinched my side making me yelp in surprise.

"What was that?" Michelle called out. I shot the finger at Jay and turned my attention to Michelle.

"Well, um it started in New York when you guys came over. We kind of just hit it off from then."

"Why didn't you tell us sooner?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "We only got together like...." I forgot how many days it's been since we stared this. Jay held up three fingers signaling me. "three days."

"Oh okay, well what about Nath?"

My eyes shot open, and so did Jay's. I turned to him, nervous. I mouthed to him 'does she know?' he just shrugged his shoulders.

"What?" I choked out.

"Like he was getting all pissed off at Jay." I let out a sigh of relief and so did Jay.

"Yea, I'm guessing he just got all protective. He probably thought that I was cheating on her at the same time." Jay said for me.

"Yeah that's what I was thinking. He was only looking out for the best for Soph."

"Yeah, exactly. All of the guys see you like a little sister. He was probably just worries, he's so against cheating." Max said this time. I felt my cheeks go red and I looked down.

Only if they knew.

-----

"More drinks!" I whined out.

"No Sophie you're already drunk." Nareesha said next to me.

"So! I want more!" I slurred, not even knowing what I was saying.

"Sophie, you've already had enough."

"Shut it Jay."

As you probably guessed, I was drunk. Like seriously though, I have an issue holding my alcohol. Everyone was completely fine, maybe Kelsey was a little tipsy. But here I was making a complete fool out of myself.

"I've gotta go pee, I'll be right back." I wobbled out of the booth, and scurried my way towards the bathroom. I was about to open the door, when I was dragged by wrist into a back room.

"Oww, stop it you're hurting me." I called out to the person who pulled me. Instead he locked the door behind him and turned around; Nathan. I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms across my chest.

"What do you want Nathan." I scoffed, he ignored me and then continued on walking towards me. He stood right in front of me, I placed my hands on my hips and looked up at him.

"When where you gonna tell me about you and Jay?" he spat.

"Why is that any of your business?" I raised an eyebrow, not letting my eyes drift off him.

"Maybe because of the fact that you were with me." he shouted. I felt a little taken back and backed away from him. His facial expression got more furious and his fists were now pressed up against eachother.

"Who said I was ever with you. Last time I checked you were the one cheating." I spat at him. He laughed sarcastically and walked towards me and kept on walking back until my back hit the wall. He walked up to me, he placed his hand on the wall next to me rather harshly making me jump in surprise, he leaned in toward me so our noses were touching.

"You're a slut." he spat at me.

I pushed him away from me and slapped him hard across the face. He turned to me and held his cheek. Tears were already streaming down my face, I looked at him with hatred and disgust. What has he turned himself into, now he was calling me a slut.

"Why am the slut? Hmmm? I wasn't the one that fucking slept with someone else. I'm not the one who still decides to kiss someone even though their engaged."

He stayed silent still holding his cheek.

"I'm not a fucking slut Nathan! I was able to do whatever I wanted. I was the single one!"

"Like I give a damn Sophie."

"Clearly you do if you're fucking calling me a slut. If it doesn't bother you, then don't fucking insult me."

"It's true." I walked up to him and was about to slap him once again. He stopped me and grabbed me by my wrists. He pulled me into his chest and I let myself go once again. I wrapped my arms around him and buried my head into his chest. I let all of this tears fall free from my face. "I'm so sorry Soph, I didn't mean any if that." he gently pulled us down so we were now sitting in the floor. He pulled me into his chest and I continued sobbing into his arms.

"This is so fucked up." I heard him whisper against my temple. He let out a shaky breath and leaned his cheek against my forehead. His hand's were running up and down my arms attempting to soothe me. After all of this time, his touch still left me goosebumps.

"You can't just say something like that, and then be sorry." I lifted my head up and looked directly at him. The tears were gone now, but any second and they would come back again. "I know, I know. I'm so stupid, I never meant it, it's just I was so caught up in the moment and I wasn't able to to stop anything that I was saying."

I pushed myself off him, and sat next to him on the wall. He frowned at the sudden loss of contact, but I still had to pretend like I was dating Jay. Nathan has put me through so much suffering, I wasn't going to let him win me back so easily. As much as I wanted it, I couldn't let it happen. Not yet.

"Sophie, I need you to answer me something." Nathan said. He grabbed my hand and interlocked them together, he started stroking it with his thumb. I looked down and smiled, realizing how bad I wanted him right then and there.

"Do you wan't me?" I looked up at him, shocked written across my head. Did he really just ask me that? Of course, I did. I was absolutely sure of it. But was I really just gonna give myself to him just like that? So easily, and let all of this work go to waste? "What about Dionne?"

"What about her."

I groaned and threw my hands into the air. "You know exactly what and I don't know why I keep on having to remind you. She's your fucking fiancee." He groaned and ran a hand through his hair. His facial expression changed like he was think intensely. The way that his eyebrows furrowed together or her scrunched his nose. Even when he bit his lip, all of that I missed. "Just give me time."

"Who say's I'm going to give you a chance." He looked over towards me struggling to comprehend my face. I just stared back at him emotionless. I wasn't going to let him crack me open, not yet. He had to suffered everything that I suffered.

"So you don't wan't me as much as I wan't you?" I felt my heartbeat quicken, he said it. He actually admitted it, he wanted me. But he wasn't going to have it just that easy. "All I'm saying is that you have Dionne and I have Jay, just leave it like that."

He stood up onto his feet, and helped me up. I had no idea what he was doing, instead I just followed his actions. He grabbed me by my waist and pulled me further into him. He locked eyes with me and tucked a strand of hair behind my hair. "Tell me that you don't wan't me, and I'll leave you alone."

I scanned his face trying to see if there was a hint of sarcasm in their, no luck. I took a deep breathe in and closed my eyes wishing that maybe this was a dream and I would wake up and all of this would be over. I opened one eye to see if it really was a dream and all that I got in response was Nathan staring back a me with a smirk written across his face; cocky little shit.

"I'm sorry Nathan." His smirk was wiped off his face and his lips went into an immediate frown. He let go of my waist, and pulled back."What?"

"I have Jay and you have Dionne, just leave it like that"

"I can't Sophie, I need you." he walked towards me and and pulled me closer to him by cupping up my face. I placed my hand on his cheek and started stroking it. I was probably making the most stupid decision right now, I could have him, but I was just letting him go. A tear rolled down my cheek and he wiped it away with his thumb. I looked down and bit my lip while nodding.

"I don't wan't you Nathan." I'm pretty sure I just broke his heart right there, he wanted me and I knew it. But I was being a stubborn little bitch. He tucked two fingers under my chin to make me look up at him, he went in to kiss me but I looked away so he just settled one on my cheek. He let go of my and simply walked out.

I slid down the wall, did I just make the right decision there? I mean it was right. He made me suffer through so much so now it was his turn. He had to feel all the torture that I felt when he was with Dionne, he needed to feel the agony day after day of what I felt.

He needed to learn.