The Sun Shines Brighter in the West

“Mom, where are my bowling shoes?” I shouted through the house. I usually kept them by the stair case at the top of the stairs, but they weren’t there.

“I put them in the closet in the living room when I was cleaning,” she yelled back. I sighed and retrieved my shoes from the closet only thinking about what else of mine she could’ve misplaced when she went on her cleaning spree. I grumbled as I packed my shoes into my bag, annoyed because I was already running late to Thursday night bowling.

My mom me in the living room and handed me my purse. “Don’t forget this,” she said.

“Thanks,” I replied, rushing out the door.

I wasted no time making my way to the bowling alley. Once I got there, I saw Jess standing outside by herself, looking around the parking lot. She was probably looking for me. I got out of the car and walked to the entrance where Jess was standing. “Why are you standing out here?” I asked her, confused.

“You’re late and I was worried,” she mumbled, hooking her hand through the crook of my arm and leading me into the building.

“Worried about what?” I furrowed my brow. “I’m twenty years old.”

“Yes, but you’ve got a young heart and that gets people in trouble,” she insisted. Then, before I could argue with her logic, she said, “We started without you because we didn’t know when or if you’d get here. I bowled for your turn, so you’re losing.” She giggled.

“Good thing we don’t bet money on these games,” I smiled.

“Yeah,” she snorted, “We’d be living under a bridge. Brandon would be the richest of us all and he’s not even that good.”

“We’re a pathetic group of bowlers,” I joked. Jess laughed and nodded in agreement.

As we were walking towards our friends, my phone started buzzing in my pocket. It was a text message from a number foreign to me. Is this Chandler? the text read. Before replying to the mysterious text message, I put my bag down and took my turn bowling. I got a gutter ball the first try and knocked down two pins on my second try. Although I got a few laughs and a few people say, “Aww,” I was still feeling good because two wasn’t bad for my first bowl of the night.

I sat down as Jess was taking her turn and texted back to the mysterious message. Yes…who’s this? I replied.

“Did you see that?” Jess exclaimed, giving everyone high fives. I looked up from my phone to see what was going on. “I got a strike!” Jess told me. “You didn’t see?” She was disappointed.

“Sorry, I was sending a text.”

“Your loss,” she joked.

After we watched the next person bowl, Jess said something to me but I wasn’t listening. Instead, I was looking at the reply I got from the mysterious number. It read, Charlie Johns. I bumped into you the other night.

“Chandler?” I looked up at Jess once I heard my name. I gave her an expectant look so she would repeat what she had said. “I asked how your mom’s been doing since the funeral.”

“Oh,” I sighed. “She’s coping on her own by deep cleaning the entire house.” I rolled my eyes. “That’s part of the reason I was running late. She put my bowling shoes in the closet.”

“I guess that’s better than dining on ice cream and potato chips,” she shrugged. “When are you guys cleaning out the house? I can come help if you need an extra hand.”

“I think she might be donating most of it and just keeping pictures and valuables.” I was going to continue with more information to keep the conversation going, but my phone buzzed once again. I opened up the message which was from Charlie again. I was wondering if you would be my date to a wedding this weekend? he wrote.

The message caught me by surprise. I hadn’t even expected him to end up actually texting me, let alone ask me out. I glided my thumbs over the keyboard debating in my head on what I should say, but I was indecisive. I wasn’t sure if it was safe to say yes since I had met him for only a few seconds and while I was pretty distraught at that. I also wasn’t sure if it would be smart to say no, though, because this would be my perfect chance to learn to trust men and Charlie seemed pretty harmless the night I met him. He was so awkward and apologetic. He even yelled after me to tell me it was nice meeting me. So, how much harm could he do? He definitely didn’t do anything on the creepy side, and when he almost crossed that line he got extremely awkward about it.

Even after deciding in my head that he was completely harmless, I still didn’t know what to do. I told Jess about everything as we were getting chips out of the vending machine. I told her about our encounter, how he asked me to the wedding, and about the debate I had going on in my head.

“Chandler, you have to go!” she encouraged me, clearly excited and supportive about the idea of dating a complete stranger. “What are you going to wear?”

“I don’t know. Maybe my mom will have something that I can borrow.”

“Oh, dear God, no. Didn’t you just get that money from your uncle? You can go shopping with some of that. He did say that you should use it to find yourself and everyone knows the first stop in finding yourself if finding out what your style is,” she winked.

I sighed in response, but I knew she was right. “I have therapy tomorrow, though.”

“Skip it. It’s just one day. It’s best to go early in the afternoon anyway before all the kiddies get out school!”

Without much of a fight, I gave into Jess’s peer pressure and decided I would skip Friday’s therapy session. I knew Dr. Settler wouldn’t be very happy about it and especially my mom if she found out, but I felt like this was something that I needed to do. I needed to be a little rebellious while finding myself, even if it was just for one day.

I texted Charlie back, confirming that I would be his date, and enjoyed the rest of my night.

***

“Try this on,” Jess chimed.

“That shows way too much,” I said, twisting my face in disgust.

“It shows just enough to be sexy, but it’s modest enough so you don’t steal the spotlight at the wedding,” she stated, trying to sell the dress to me even though she didn’t even work here. I looked at Jess as she held the dress up to her thin body while looking in a full mirror. After turning at every possible angle and flipping the dress this way and that, she finally looked over my way and held the dress out for me to take it. I shook my head in a nugatory fashion and began looking at other items of clothing.

“You’re no fun,” she pouted.

I skimmed through several dresses in my size until I came across the perfect one. It had a sweetheart neckline and the skirt on the dress came down mid-thigh. The bust was a floral print and the skirt was a blue color matching the floral nicely but not providing too much pink or red. It would go perfect with white heels. I held it up for Jess to see, but she gave it a disapproving look and stuck her tongue out. “Too adolescent,” she described it.

I sighed in frustration after having looked at all the dresses. They were all stunning, but none of them were sometime I would wear except for the one floral one. I was ready to just go home and borrow something from my mom’s closet like I was going to in the first place. “I thought the point of this shopping trip was to find myself,” I grumbled. “So far, it’s been you trying to find yourself in me.”

She rolled her eyes. “Don’t be so dramatic,” she sighed. She held up another dress. It was very similar in style to the one I held up except it had thing straps, the bust was glittery gold, and the skirt was a tan color to match the gold. It was beautiful. “I’m not saying the floral dress is awful. You just need some glamor for your first date is all.” She shrugged.

My eyes lit up as she handed it to me. I immediately held it up to my body as I looked at myself in the mirror. It was perfect for a first date. I hugged Jess excitedly and pulled her to the cash register to check out. After purchasing the dress, we ran through mall to get accessories, shoes, a purse, and of course a new haircut to go along with the new dress.

***

Once I arrived home, I snuck up the stairs to take my bags to my room before my mom could see me. If she saw me with bags from the mall, it would be a dead giveaway that I had skipped today’s therapy session. I grabbed my new outfit out of my bag and tried it on. The earrings and necklace brought out my eyes and the dress really showed off my thin legs. I smiled as I turned in the mirror, happy with the way I would look on my first date with Charlie. I searched through my bags to find my phone so I could send Jess a picture and when I found it, I realized I had five missed calls from Dr. Settler.

I slipped my heels off and sat down on my bed as I returned his call. He picked up on the second ring with a “Hello?” full of worry.

“I should have called. I was busy today.”

“Too busy to come to a session you’re paying for? A session you need? You can’t keep doing this, Chandler. I can’t keep investing my time into you if you’re not going to appreciate it,” he said.

I sighed, feeling guilty. “If you’re not too busy, I can meet you up for coffee at Waffle House in a few minutes,” I offered.

He agreed and hung up the phone. I quickly changed out of my dress and put on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. I rushed downstairs toward the front door so I could escape my mom’s questions and also get to Waffle House in time, but I wasn’t quick enough. My mom stopped me just as I was stepping out of the door.

“Where are you going off to? Didn’t you just get home?” she questioned.

“Coffee with Dr. Settler. Got to go!” I waved.

She held the door open and stopped me in my tracks. “Well, didn’t you get enough of him this afternoon?” she half laughed.

“I left my jacket there,” I lied.

“But it wasn’t even cold out today!” she yelled after me, but I was already close enough to the car to pretend I hadn’t heard her.

***

I beat Dr. Settler to Waffle House and ordered a cup of coffee for the both of us until he arrived. “As much as I love our impromptu meetings here,” he said as he sat down, “I would really love if you attended your scheduled session with me.”

“Sorry, Dr. Set – I mean Tom. So much went on at once. I completely forgot to call you,” I apologized.

“What happened?”

“I go bowling every Thursday with friends and got a text from that Charlie guy. Did I tell you about him? I think I did. Anyway, he asked me to be his date to a wedding so Jess and I decided we’d go shopping today since I need something to wear by tomorrow afternoon. So, we kind of planned on me skipping out on you, but I definitely did not mean to forget to inform you or worry you.”

“You agreed to go on a date with that new boy?” he asked, clearly shocked.

“Yes. Why is that such a shock? I told you I would try,” I defended myself.

“I’m just surprised you’re moving so quickly. I expected you to be very picky and defensive about who you would date. That’s not a bad thing. It’s just what usually happens with people who have gone through what you have. I’m very proud of you. Your progress is amazing.”

“I’m just doing my best,” I smiled awkwardly.

“I may just write a book on you. You’d be funding my vacation,” he joked.

“I’m nervous,” I admitted. “I haven’t been on a date since high school. Since the attack.”

“There will be a lot of people there, so you shouldn’t be in too much danger. Plus, there aren’t usually vacant bedrooms in reception halls. Just keep your eye on his behavior, but don’t ruin the night. You should understand that most men aren’t monsters like that Harley.”

“He seemed too awkward that night to be of any harm,” I laughed, remembering how he apologized for grabbing my hand.

“If there’s any funny business, just send me a text and I’ll be there within minutes,” he assured me.
“I’ll make sure I’m free tomorrow night, so text me when you’re home safe.”

“I will, Tom. Thanks so much”

Dr. Settler went beyond just being a psychiatrist. He was a friend to his patients. Or, at least he was with me. He was extremely supportive and made me feel like I wasn’t going through this alone. I think that’s why I was making so much progress. I felt protected knowing he would be there at my call and that’s why I decided to agree to go out with Charlie.

Dr. Settler was an angel sent from heaven.