Here We Go Again

The next day, I opened my eyes and stared at the white ceiling above me. I stared at it for a few seconds longer before I slowly sat up in my bed. I glanced around the room and took in my surroundings. I was in the dorms. I pushed my blanket off me as I heard the bathroom door open to the left of me. I glanced over as a tall, lanky boy stepped out of the bathroom in pajama pants and a shirt. He looked at me before he spoke up.

"Good morning," he said in a deep voice. I widened my eyes in surprise as I quickly pushed myself out of my bed and collapsed onto the floor. The boy's eyes widened in shock as he rushed over to my side. He went to reach for me, but I pushed his arms away from me.

"Get away from me!" I yelled at him. He continued to look at me in confusion before he spoke up again.

"Nicole, what's wrong?" he asked me. I stared at him with wild eyes as I realized he knew my name. Who was this guy?

"Who are you?" I asked in a panicked voice. The boy's eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "I don't know who you are." His eyebrows only furrowed further.

"Of course you know me," he started. "It's me, Travis." I shook my head as I looked away from him and backed up further into my bedside table.

"I don't know a Travis," I replied quietly as I continued to shake my head.





I continued to stare down at Nicole. If it wasn't for the completely serious look in her eyes, I would have thought she was joking. That serious look was there though and it seemed she really didn't know who I was.

I slowly stepped back away from her and tried not to alarm her any further. I stepped backwards to my bed and without taking my eyes off Nicole, I grabbed my mobile off my bedside table. I finally looked away from her though as I quickly rang Chris.

"Hey, Chris?" I asked as he picked up.

"Morning, Travis. What's up?" he asked in a cheery tone on the other end.

"Can you come over here right now?" I asked as I stared at Nicole. She hadn't moved from her spot on the floor and she instead wrapped her arms around her legs and pulled them closer to her small body.

"Uh, sure. Why?" he asked hesitantly.

"There's something wrong with Nicole," I said slowly. I quickly heard the dial tone go off as soon as the last word left my mouth. In less than a minute, I heard a loud banging on the door which startled Nicole. I quickly walked to the door and opened the door for Chris. He walked in and brushed past me before he made his way into the room.

"What happened? What happened to her?" he asked in a panic. I gestured to where Nicole still sat in silence. He walked towards her, but she flinched as soon as he reached out for her. A look of confusion and fear crossed her eyes as she stared up at Chris. Chris saw this and he slowly bent down to her eye level. "Hey," he started softly. "Hey, it's alright. It's just me," he said. She stared up at him, her eyes unblinking. "What's wrong, Nicole? What happened?" She shook her head before she slowly replied.

"I," she started quietly. "I don't know. I woke up and he was there," she said as she nodded her head towards me. "And I don't know him." He hesitantly looked away from her and then up at me with a questioning look. I could only offer a shrug as a reply. He turned back to Nicole before he spoke up.

"What do you mean? That's Travis. Your roommate."

"My roommate?"

"Yeah. For weeks now." She shook her head.

"How come I don't remember him then?" she asked. She couldn't remember me? Chris glanced back at me for a second before he focused back on her.

"I don't know," he said. "Do you," he paused as he tried to find the right words. "Do you remember me?" he asked her. She looked up at him in confusion before recognition slowly appeared in her eyes.

"Yes, of course I do," she said. "You're Chris," she said with a small smile and relaxed a bit.

"Yeah, that's right," he said in relief.

"If he's my roommate, how come I don't remember him?" she asked as her voice visibly became more solemn. "What's wrong with me, Chris?" she asked as she broke out into tears. She flung her arms around his neck and cried into his shoulder. He patted her back as he tried to calm her down. I could only watch helplessly as she broke down.





After I finally got Nicole to calm down, I took her out of her room and took her to my room so we could talk. As soon as she was seated on the couch, I sat down next to her. My roommate was already out of the room, so we could talk alone.

"So what happened?" I asked her quietly.

"I don't know," she replied as she brought her legs up and hugged them to her chest. "I don't remember him." I searched her face for answers.

"Nicole," I started. "You told me a few weeks back that you've been forgetting things a lot more often. Do you remember that?" She nodded her head.

"Yeah, I remember that."

"Do you think this is one of those times? I mean, you almost forgot me for a second there earlier." I watched as her eyebrows furrowed.

"Probably," she finally answered. "Do you think I'll remember him?"

"Of course," I replied with a reassuring smile. "Alright, well, I'll take you back to your room, so you could get ready. And I'll pick you up for class, okay?" I asked her. She slowly nodded at me. I stood up and held out on my hand for her. She took it and I held her hand in mine until we were back at her room.

"Thanks, Chris," she said quietly.

"What are best friends for?" I replied with my signature grin. She slowly smiled at me before she turned around and entered her room. As soon as the door was closed behind her, my grin fell and was replaced with a frown. I walked across the hall to my room as my frown only deepened.

Nicole is getting worse and I don't know what to do. She's one of my best friends and I can't fucking do anything to make her get any better.

I thought as I walked into my room. I ran my hands over my face before I tried to think of something else. I sighed before I started to get ready for school.





I sighed as I walked back into my room. Travis - my roommate that I had apparently forgotten about - was by his bed and was packing his bag. He glanced up at me as I entered the room. His eyes widened before he quickly looked away from me. I slowly walked further into the room until I got to my own bed.

"I'm sorry if I frightened you," Travis said as I jumped from his sudden speaking.

"No, it's fine," I finally said as I calmed myself. "I probably scared you as well. It's my fault. I should have told you before. I don't know why I didn't."

"Told me what?" he asked as he stopped fiddling with his bag and gave me his full attention.

"Have I told you everything that has happened to me this year?" I asked and he nodded.

"Pretty much," he replied.

"But have I told you about this? About my memory problems?" He shook his head. "Okay, well, I've been having problems with my memory for the past couple of weeks. It used to be just small things, but apparently it's escalated to big things like people and places."

"May I ask why you're having memory problems?" I sighed before I plopped myself onto my bed.

"My therapist said it probably has to do with my stress and lack of sleep. And if I fix those then that should deal with my memory problems," I explained. Travis just nodded at me. It was quiet for a minute before I stood back up. "Anyway, I'm gonna get dressed." I grabbed my towel and clothes from my wardrobe before I turned back around to face him. "I'm sorry about all of this, Travis." His name was familiar on my tongue. "I'll remember who you are. I'm sure of it. Just give me a bit of time, alright?" I sent him a reassuring smile. He eventually smiled back at me and nodded. I turned back around and entered the bathroom, locking the door behind me. I bit my bottom lip in worry. I was getting worse and I didn't know how to deal with it.



It wasn't until three days later that I remembered who Travis was. It was Friday so I was packing my bag of clothes for the weekend and I was thinking about whatever came to my mind. Eventually my mind drifted over to Travis and then I remembered.

So as soon as he entered our room, I ran over to him and gave him a big hug. He was caught off guard and fell back against the door.

"Nicole!" he exclaimed when he steadied himself.

"I remembered!" I said excitedly with a big smile when I pulled myself away from him.

"You remembered?" he questioned. I nodded energetically.

"I remembered!"

"That's great!" he said with a small smile.

"And I just wanted to say how sorry I am that I forgot who you were. I didn't do it on purpose, I swear!" I said quickly. Travis chuckled at me before he replied.

"It's quite alright."

"And I also wanted to thank you. I know these past three days have been... weird. In fact, the whole time I've been living with you, everything has been weird. Again, sorry about that," I said with a nervous laugh. Since I didn't really remember him during these three days, I was pretty distant and barely talked to him. Simply because I wasn't comfortable. I felt bad that I had forgotten who he was and I didn't want to talk to him in fear that I might have spoken to him already about what we were talking about, and I didn't want him to have to repeat the conversation with me just because I forgot. My reasoning was probably really stupid, but I just didn't want to have to go through that awkwardness. So I just hoped that I would remember him soon instead.

"It's alright," he said as he smiled at me again. He glanced behind me at my half-packed bag. "Are you going back to your flat?" he asked and I nodded at him as I turned around. I walked back to my bed and continued packing my bag.

"I'm starting to miss Erin," I replied. "So what are you going to be doing for the weekend?" Travis shrugged as he sat down on his bed.

"I might stop by and visit my mum."

"Oh, that's nice," I replied. Travis had told me a bit more about his mom since I started living here. She had been living with her cousin ever since he entered Kingston Academy so she wouldn't be left home all alone since it was just her and him. I understood where she was coming from. I mean, it was just me, my mom and Eric. And for a while, I was a bit hesitant to leave California the first time around, but my mom said that she had Eric, so she wouldn't be alone. Travis never mentioned a dad, so I didn't question it. He never asked me about my dad so I thought it was only fair. "She's lives in, um," I paused as I snapped my fingers to try to remember the place. "Aylesbury, right?" I asked. Travis looked at me in surprise.

"Yeah, she does," he replied.

"See? I told you I remembered," I said with a grin.

"I didn't think you'd remember that. I only mentioned that place once."

"Before this whole memory problems, I used to be really good at remembering things," I explained.

"So you're okay then?" he asked. I looked at him in confusion. "I mean, you forgot me once. Will you forget me again?" I gave him a reassuring smile.

"I think I'll be fine."

"What if you forget somebody else though?" I stopped packing and thought about it.

"If it comes to that again, then I'll deal with it little by little. I remembered you, didn't I?" I asked with another smile. I turned away from him when he smiled back at me. I finished packing my bag, but what he said did get me thinking. What if I did forget somebody else? I mean, I almost forgot James' name, I nearly forgot Chris, and then I completely forgot Travis for three days. What was I supposed to do if I forgot somebody else?



The following Monday as I got ready for school at my apartment, something felt a bit off. I furrowed my eyebrows as I tried to figure out what it was. I had a weird feeling, a sort of hallow feeling in my chest, as if I forgot something very important to me. I couldn't be sure of what though.

I furrowed my eyebrows further as I tried to remember what I probably forgot.

"Dude, you okay there?" Erin asked as she walked into my room wearing her own school uniform.

"Huh?" I asked as I turned towards her. "Yeah, I'm fine, I'm just feeling a bit off this morning." She sat down on my bed as she looked me over.

"Did you forget something again?" I shrugged at her.

"I think so. I'm not sure yet." I sent her a weak smile. "I'm sure it'll come back to me though." She nodded as I grabbed my blazer. I slipped it on as I grabbed my school bag and duffel bag of clothes from over the weekend. "You good to go?" I asked Erin. She nodded as she stood up.

We both left our apartment, Erin grabbing her bag on our way out, and made our way downstairs to the main street. We parted ways at the streetlight, Erin heading in the opposite direction of where I was going.

As I walked through the black gates of the school building and to the dorms, I kept thinking about what I probably forgot. It obviously wasn't Erin. Or Chris since I instantly knew who he was when I saw him on my way to my class after I dropped off my things at my room. And it wasn't Hayley either when I saw her next to Chris.

I tried to not think about it anymore than necessary. If I forgot something or somebody, then it would become known to me eventually.