Here We Go Again

I watched as Nicole walked into the classroom. She looked a bit different this time though. She would usually walk into the room with a scowl or frown on her face, especially after she saw me. She had a slightly confused and thoughtful expression on her face instead though. She scanned the classroom before she laid eyes on the only empty seat in the room which also just happened to be her seat next to me. She headed towards her seat without looking at me. I wasn't surprised by that. I was surprised though by the confused expression she held when she glanced at me.

I locked eyes with her and her eyebrows only furrowed further in confusion while mine rose in expectation. I expected her to say something, but she didn't as she turned away and grabbed her notebook from her bag.

"Nicole, what?" I asked her quietly. She just shook her head at me. I reached over to grab her hand, but stopped myself. She wouldn't have been very happy if I did that. "Really, what?"

"It's nothing. It's just..." she trailed off as she avoided to look at me. "It's nothing," she repeated instead. I continued to stare at her before I reached out to her again. This time, I actually let myself touch her hand. She quickly moved her hand away from mine. "I'm sorry, but just... Please don't."

"What's wrong?" I asked her. She let out a heavy sigh before she replied.

"I don't," she started as she tried to find the right words. "I don't remember who you are." I stared at her in confusion. "I've been having trouble remembering things lately and I think I forgot you. I know you, right?" she asked.

She was having trouble remembering things?

I thought as I scanned her face for any indication she was joking or something, but found nothing. She was completely serious.

"Yes, you know me," I said a bit dejectedly. Nicole couldn't remember me?

"I'm sorry," she said as she turned towards the front of the classroom. I couldn't speak with her any longer as class began.





As soon as I walked into my first period class, I was positive now that I had forgotten something. It wasn't where I sat, because I remembered that when I scanned the room. It was who I sat next to.

This guy next to me was so familiar, but I just couldn't place my finger on it. I knew him, I was sure of that. I just couldn't remember how. It wasn't a thing I had forgotten, it was a person. It was him. This guy sitting right next to me, I had forgotten him.

Halfway through the class period, the teacher called on him to answer one of his questions. And I found out his name was Will. The name was so damn familiar to me. As soon as I heard his name, I felt my chest warm with a feeling of familiarity and something else I wasn't quite sure of. I snuck a few glances at him every so often during the class period and noted that he was incredibly attractive. There was something about him though that made my stomach do flips and my breathing shorten.

After class ended, Will had followed me out to my locker. I noticed people stared at us and gave us weird looks as if us talking was just plain out of the ordinary. I ignored it as I opened my locker and Will continued to speak to me.

"So you don't remember me?" he asked for what seemed like the millionth time since we left the classroom. I let out a sigh before I replied.

"Yes," I breathed out. "I'm sorry, but I don't remember you." He had that same dejected look on his face and it really made me wonder what my connection to him was. Last I checked, I was single, so he obviously wasn't my boyfriend, I was sure of that. There was no way someone this attractive could be with someone like me. I brushed that last thought out of my head before he spoke up.

"So you really don't remember me then?" he asked with a sad voice. I wasn't annoyed this time when he asked again. I felt a bit bad about it instead.

"I'm sorry," I said again as I shut my eyes closed. "I don't remember you, but there's something here." I opened my eyes and looked up at him. "I'll remember you, Will. It'll come back to me. There's something here, I just know there is," I finished. I watched as his jaw tightened before he replied.

"I don't think it's a good thing if you remembered me."

"Why would you say that?" I asked him in confusion.

"You'd hate me all over again if you remembered me," he said as he turned away from me. "Maybe it'd be best for both of us if you never remembered me," he muttered under his breath before he walked away from me. I stared at his retreating form in utter confusion and shock. What in the world was that supposed to mean?

I was pulled out of my thoughts when the warning bell rang, signaling that second period was going to start soon. I quickly shook my head to clear my thoughts before I shut my locker and headed towards class.



It wasn't until near the end of fourth period when I had class with Chris where I sat next to him that I asked him about Will.

"Hey, Chris?" I asked him as the teacher gave us the reminder of the class period to work on our homework.

"Hm?" he hummed at me as he continued writing something down.

"What's my relation to Will?" I asked him. I watched as he stopped writing and just dropped his pen to stare at me. "What?"

"Nicole," he started slowly as he faced me completely. "what do you mean?"

"I mean, what's my relation to Will?" I repeated as if it was the simplest question in the world. He continued to stare at me before he slowly spoke up.

"Did you forget him?" I nodded at him.

"I did. So who is he?" He sighed before he replied.

"Nicole, he was your boyfriend." I stared at him in shock, my jaw slightly hanging open.

"What?" I managed to get out.

"Yeah, he was your boyfriend."

"What happened then? We're not together, right?"

"No, no," he said quickly. A little too quickly actually. "No, you're not together anymore," he said slower.

"So we broke up then?" I asked. Chris opened his mouth to say something, but quickly closed it before he nodded instead. "Why'd we break up?" I asked as I turned back to my homework.

"It's complicated," he answered. I nodded as I answered one of the questions on my homework. If it was complicated, I didn't want to get through all the details at this moment. I would probably remember them soon enough anyway. "So you don't remember Will at all?" he asked. I shook my head as I continued writing. "Then what about last year?" I paused and put my pen down. I furrowed my eyebrows as I thought about it. It was hard going through my memories.

"It's a blur," I replied.

"Nicole, Will was a big part of your life."

"He was?" I asked and he nodded. "I'll remember him then," I said as I went back to my homework. I know I should have been more worried that Will was a big part of my life and I couldn't remember him, but at the moment, there was a part of me that didn't really care. That part of me that didn't care was actually kind of... happy? I couldn't explain the feeling. I didn't know why I felt that though. Maybe Will and I ended on bad terms?

I shook my head to clear my thoughts and worked on my homework instead.



Three days passed and I still hadn't remembered Will. I thought that by now I would have remembered him completely like I did with Travis, but nope. He was still more of a stranger to me. Though I did have a bit of memories of him here and there, they weren't too big. They were little things like sitting next to him in class or talking with him. Or a sharing a kiss or two with him in the past. And with how things were with us now, I thought it was pretty awkward and embarrassing for me to remember that.

Ever since I forgot about him, Will had been trying to talk to me. I really didn't know what to talk about with him, so our conversations were always short. And awkward. Well, at least I thought they were.

He had even asked me if I would like to have lunch with him and Chris. I had to think about it. There was a weird feeling in the pit of my stomach that told me it was a bad idea, but I couldn't see the harm in it, so I said sure. Chris was pretty surprised by that fact, but I couldn't understand why.

"Are you sure you're okay to have lunch with us today?" Chris had asked for me what seemed like the tenth time in the last two minutes.

"Yes!" I breathed out with a sigh. "I'm fine with it, so let's just go." He finally sighed as he gave in.

"Alright, well, if anything becomes too much, I'm pulling you out of there," he replied. I rolled my eyes at him as we walked towards the cafeteria. Chris didn't want to tell me anything that happened between Will and I, because he didn't want to upset me and wanted me to remember him by myself. So I guess that was why he was pretty wary of Will and I near each other.

Chris and I grabbed our lunch before we headed towards where Will and everyone else were seated. Hayley had a choir meeting, so she would be joining us later.

I sat down in front of Will and Annabella with Chris next to me, and James and Sara diagonal to me. I took a quick glance around and people were giving us weird looks. I tried to brush it off as Annabella spoke up.

"It's good to see you, Nicole," she said with a smile. I smiled back at her in reply, but didn't bother to say anything back to her. I honestly didn't know what to say to her.

Lunch was pretty awkward to say the least. I barely spoke to Will or Annabella and only spoke to Chris, James, and Sara. And even when I spoke to James and Sara, it was short and quick. The only person I could have an extended conversation with was Chris. Even then, halfway through lunch, Hayley finally joined us for lunch, so obviously his attention was more on her now. I kind of wished that Travis was here so I could talk to him.

Near the end of lunch, I overheard a guy talking pretty loudly.

"How weird is that?" I heard him say to his friend. "That yankee is actually having lunch with Will and Annabella? Talk about awkward." I furrowed my eyebrows as I thought about what he said.

Yankee?

I thought. For some reason, that sounded so damn familiar. They were obviously talking about me, but the term yankee was eerily familiar. I furrowed my eyebrows some more as I tried to recall what the term meant to me.

And that's when I remembered a bit more of Will. I didn't completely remember him, but I did recall that that was what he always used to call me before.

"You used to call me yankee," I stated as I turned to look at Will. He choked on his food before he turned to look at me.

"What?" he managed to get out when he calmed down.

"Your nickname for me," I clarified. "You used to call me yankee."

"You remember that?" Chris asked me in shock. I nodded my head.

"Yeah, I remember that, but I still don't remember everything yet." Will nodded before he looked away from me and poked at his nearly empty plate of food.

"Yeah, I used to call you that," Will muttered more to himself. I watched as Annabella reached over and grabbed his hand. He hesitated for a bit before he squeezed her hand. I got a weird tugging in my chest, but didn't dwell on it any longer as the bell rang, signaling the end of lunch.

I tossed my empty plate into the trash can before I placed the tray next to it. I had noticed for the past few days that I was eating more. It wasn't a lot like before, but it was more than how it had been for the past month or so. I had told Dr. Matthews about that and how I also forgot Will at our last session. When I mentioned him, she hummed at me before she wrote something into her folder. She told me I would eventually remember him, but while I couldn't remember him, I should take a break. She pretty much just told me it was a good thing I forgot him momentarily, so now I could take a step back from everything and relax and get a better perspective and maybe lower my stress levels. I had wondered why she would say it was better if I forgot Will for now, but she was the doctor, not me. So I didn't question it.

I didn't think more of it as I walked to my sixth period class.