Status: Completed. This is the sequel of The First Cut is the Deepest, so if you haven't read that story, you should read that story first then come back here for this story. =) Third and final installment is already up.

Here We Go Again

Chapter 28

Travis


As Nicole and I walked to our lockers after school had ended that same day, she turned to look at me.

"Yeah, I'm sorry about all of this, but I don't think I can keep up with this whole pretend dating thing any longer," she admitted.

"Are you sure?" I asked her and she nodded. I let out a breath of relief.

"Oh, thank God," I muttered. "That was exhausting."

"Seriously? Why didn't you just tell me then?" she asked as she smacked my arm.

"I didn't want to upset you any further. You really seemed to like this idea of yours that I couldn't just shoot it down," I explained.

"That's understandable, but still," she said with a slight pout.

"Now, that we're 'broken up' now," I said with air quotes. "I've been meaning to tell you something."

"Alright, what is it?" Nicole opened her locker and dumped her unneeded books into it and then grabbed the books that she did need to do tonight's homework.

"So you know how we made that pinky promise?" I asked her and she nodded at me. I went quiet for a few seconds to collect my thoughts on how I was going to go about this. She turned to me slowly.

"You didn't break it, did you?" she asked slowly as she tried to process what was happening.

"No, no!" I said quickly. "Well, I don't think so," I added as an afterthought.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Okay, so here's the thing," I started seriously. "Before we made that pinky promise, I did kind of start to have feelings for you," I admitted as my cheeks grew pink. She looked at me in surprise. "Let me finish," I said as I saw her slightly panicked face. "Then we made the pinky promise and then we pretended to date. And I realized during that time that while I had a bit of feelings for you, I still really, really like Anna."

"You do?" she asked in relief.

"Yes," I breathed out. "When I saw her face when I was holding your hand or hugging you, it killed me inside and I knew I still had feelings for her. And my feelings for her were way stronger than the feelings I ever had for you."

"Travis, you have no idea who happy and slightly sad I am to hear that. Happy because you don't like me and slightly sad because your feelings for me were pretty pathetic," she said with a laugh. I couldn't help but laugh along with her.

"So this doesn't mess up our friendship?" I asked hopefully.

"Never," she said with a grin. "But where does that put us now then?"

"What do you mean?" I asked in confusion. She shut her locker and we walked towards my locker now.

"I mean, we both said that we would try to move on with our lives without Will and Annabella, but look where we ended up at. You still have feelings with Annabella and I," she stopped suddenly though and shifted the topic. "Where does that put us then in the whole moving on thing?" I grabbed her arm to stop her from walking.

"Wait, Nicole, do still love Will?" I asked her. I watched as she tensed up before she finally replied.

"Yes," she breathed out in a defeated sigh.

"Are you sure?" She nodded at me. "How can you be so sure?"

"I don't know how, but I'm sure. Will is an arrogant asshole, but I love him. At the just the mention and the thought of him, I still get that weird feeling in my stomach as if the butterflies would fly right out of my mouth like vomit. That's a weird visual," she said with a grimace and I couldn't stop the corner of my lips from tugging up into a small smile. "But that's how it feels like. My heart feels like it'll burst right out of my chest and I can't imagine myself with anyone else, but him."

"So I still have feelings for Anna and you still love Will," I confirmed and she nodded glumly as we started to walk again. "Wow, we're rubbish at moving on, aye?" I questioned. Nicole laughed at that.

"Apparently," she replied with a smile. When we got to my locker, her tone suddenly got serious. "I think I have to talk with Will," she said. I turned to her as I grabbed a few books from my locker.

"What do you mean?" I asked in confusion. She sighed before she replied.

"My therapist said that a lot of my problems - like my nightmares and memory loss, for example - would be solved if I faced them and lowered my stress levels. And while I haven't really had much nightmares lately and my memory is getting better, they're still a problem. And I still have to face them. Will is a pretty big cause of my problems, so I think I should finally talk with him and get everything cleared up. Maybe then, maybe finally I can move on," she finished. I stared at her in slight amazement.

"You're an inspiration," I said, partly joking, but also partly serious. She rolled her eyes at me before she shoved at my shoulder.

"When did you become such a jokester?" she asked with a laugh as I shut my locker closed. I shrugged at her question. She was right though. I did joke around a lot more and I became more talkative around her. Maybe it was just being around her so much that she was starting to rub off onto me.

"When are you going to talk to Will then?" I asked her. I watched as she bit her lip in worry.

"Now, I guess," she replied before pushed herself off the locker she was leaning on. I looked at her in confusion before I saw where she was heading. Will was at the end of the hallway and she was making her way towards him. I wished her a silent good luck as she stood in front of him.

Image


Nicole


"Will, let's talk," I said suddenly as I looked up at him. He looked at me in shock before he finally spoke up.

"What?" he asked once he managed to find his voice.

"I want to talk with you."

"You want to... What?" he asked again. I rolled my eyes at him before I gestured to the doors behind him that lead to the library. He eventually nodded at me and followed me inside. We sat down at a table near the back before I spoke up.

"Let's make a truce," I said

"A truce?" he asked and I nodded at him.

"Let's be friends."

"Friends?" Now, he was just repeating everything I was saying. "But you said we weren't friends."

"Yeah, I know I said that, but I'm willing to try to make it work if you are."

"I'm willing," he started. "but why are you suddenly wanting to be friends now and make a truce?"

"I," I started with a sigh. If we wanted to make a truce happen between us, that meant I had to get everything out into the open first. "My therapist said that I need to face the cause of my problems if I want them to go away."

"You're seeing a therapist?" he asked me in surprise. I nodded at him. "When did you start seeing one?"

"Shortly after we broke up," I answered. I saw his jaw tighten.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"We weren't exactly on good speaking terms, Will. Plus, I didn't really feel as if it was necessary to tell you." It went quiet for a few seconds before he spoke up.

"So your therapist said to face the cause of your problems? And that would be me?" I slowly nodded at him and I noticed his knuckles start to clench tightly to the point that they were almost white. It made the faint scars on his knuckles more visible. He didn't seem angry about what I said, but more... guilt ridden? "May I ask what problems I caused?" he asked in a strained voice. I let out a quiet sigh before I replied.

"First, it started off with little things like lack appetite and sleep deprivation. Then it got into bigger problems like depression, nightmares, and panic attacks. I was diagnosed with panic disorder shortly after that. And then my memory started taking a toll and I had memory loss for a while. I'm sure you're all too familiar with that last one though," I said and he nodded with a slight grimace on his face. "My eating has gone back to normal now, so I'm eating properly again. And my memory has improved, so I haven't really forgotten anything or anyone important lately, so that's getting back to normal as well."

"What about all the other things?"

"I still suffer from them," I stated.

"And what about..." he trailed off as he gestured to my covered wrists.

"Of course I still have the urge to self-harm," I said.

"But... have you?" I slowly shook my head.

"No, that's the one thing I never want to relapse in. I made a promise to my friends and family, to myself, and... to you that I would never cut myself again." I watched as his jaw tightened once more.

"So... About this truce then," he asked as he shifted the topic.

"Well, facing my problems means facing you. And I don't want to hide from you any longer, so I figured we should try to be friends. Then maybe I can move on from you." Will's eyes snapped up to meet mine.

"What? Move on?" he questioned as if it sounded absurd.

"Well, of course. You moved on and you're with Annabella now. It's only fair that I move on as well." I stared at Will's face and he seemed he was still trying to process what I just said. It was as if he couldn't comprehend that I needed to move on with my life, with or without him.

"Uh," he said as he shook his head to clear his thoughts. "Right, of course," he said quietly.

"So friends?" I asked with a raised eyebrow.

With a heavy sigh, he replied. "Friends," he said with a small smile. I smiled back at him with a genuine smile. "Can I ask you something since you're being open with me?" he asked me and I nodded at him. "Are you really dating Travis?" he asked. I let out a heavy sigh before I replied.

"No," I replied. "Travis was just helping me to get you mad," I admitted.

"Well, it worked," he replied.

"I'm glad then," I said with a chuckle. Will let a chuckle escape from his own mouth.

"Since we're friends now then, would you like to have dinner with us tomorrow? I would have suggested lunch, but tomorrow is Friday, and it's a short day. So everyone is going to have dinner at this new place that Chris found. You can bring Erin and Travis, if you'd like," he offered. I bit my lip as I thought about it.

"Sure," I finally replied. It had been awhile since I last spent time with everyone that I was starting to miss Chris and Hayley.

"Great," he said as he stood up from his seat. I followed his lead and we both left the library and entered the hallway. "Are you heading to the dorm building?" he asked me.

"Yeah," I answered.

"Would you like to walk there together?"

"Um," I started as I looked around the hallway for Travis, but couldn't find him. "It looks like Travis already left so, yeah, sure."

We walked to the dorm building together, making small talk as we got there. It was weird being with Will like this, but at the same time it was oddly nice. I ignored that tight feeling in my chest though and that small tingling feeling I got on my skin from when he accidentally bumped his hand into mine while we walked.

I just knew that while we were trying to be friends now, it was probably going to be one of the most difficult things I had ever had to do.
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So there's about eight chapters left of this story after this chapter. It would have been nice to get more feedback on this story and see what more people actually thought of it, but alas, ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.
As always though, comment, subscribe, and recommend! Let me know what you think, please! =)