Here We Go Again

The weekend flew by and it was Monday again. It was December now, so it was pretty cold and any day now, it would probably snow soon. I wore a thermal shirt under my school shirt with black tights underneath my skirt to keep myself warm as I walked to school.

I walked to the school quickly so I wouldn't have to be in the cold any longer than necessary. I quickly dropped off my things at my dorm room before I walked to the school building with Travis.

"How was your weekend?" I asked him as I took out my book for my first period from my locker.

"It was alright. I visited my mum again," he replied.

"Yeah? How is she?"

"She's doing good. She joined this dance class and she really seems to enjoy it."

"A dance class?" I asked in surprise. "Really? What kind?"

"Salsa, I think," he asked as he scratched his chin in thought.

"Olé," I said with an accent as I dramatically posed with my hand up in the air as if I had just finished some grand finale of a dance routine. Travis laughed as I relaxed from my position and shut my locker. "Really though, that's cool," I said seriously after I had stopped laughing myself.

"Yeah, I think so too," he replied. Before he could say anything else, Chris and Hayley joined us.

"Morning," Chris said as he stood in front of us.

"Morning," both Travis and I replied.

"Good morning," Hayley said in her usual quiet voice. Right as I was going to ask how their weekend was, the first bell rang. We all said our goodbyes as we went to our own first periods.

Will was back from his suspension, so he was in his seat by the time I got to the classroom. I gave him a small nod of acknowledgement as I sat down next to him. He nodded back at me with a small smile and my heart thumped in my chest.

Keep your wall up, Nicole.

I thought simply as the class began. While the class went on, I took a quick glance at Will. He didn't have dark bags under his eyes like the last time I saw him. And he didn't reek of alcohol and instead smelled like his body wash and a hint of the cologne that I liked him wearing. I shut my eyes and clutched the necklace.

Keep your wall up, Nicole.

I chanted again.

Don't let it fall.

The rest of the class period passed without much happening. When first period ended and I was in second period with Travis next to me, I glanced around me. I made eye contact with Jason and I glared at him. And for once, he didn't keep looking at me and smirk at me or anything. Instead, he quickly looked away and avoided looking at me for the rest of the period. I was beyond surprised by that. I wondered what had changed, but didn't bother to think more about it, because I was glad for the sudden change.

Second period ended and third period rolled around. That class ended uneventfully as well as all my other classes until I got to my sixth period class. That was the class where I had both Will and Annabella in it. Usually Annabella would sit next to Will, but not today apparently. Instead, she sat next to me, which surprised me. And when I asked her why she wasn't sitting next to Will, she only gave me a small smile and didn't even answer me. I didn't bother to press her, because I just figured they had a fight or something and she wasn't really wanting to be near him at the moment. If that was the case, I understood where she was coming from. Because when Will and I fought, I didn't like to be around him either.



The school day ended before I knew it. I quickly made my way to my dorm room so I wouldn't miss my appointment with Dr. Matthews. I had told Travis long ago that I usually had my appointments on Mondays after school, so he was considerate and left the room for a couple of hours so I could be alone for my sessions.

My session with Dr. Matthews today was pretty normal, to say the least. I told her I hadn't had a nightmare for a few weeks as well as a panic attack. She had asked me about my eating habits and sleep schedule, and I told her they were all back to normal. She wrote something in her notebook with a hum of approval before she started asking me questions about my depression and cutting. I was honest with her and told her the truth. I told her how I would be incredibly sad or anxious for a few hours every so often. And that there were times when I had the urge to cut, but didn't. She told me I was improving though and even lowered my anti-depressants dosage.

After the usual questions about my health, she asked me how school was and I told her it was fine. And then I told her about everything that happened with Will and I. I may have left out the fact that Will kissed me in our previous sessions, so I told her about it now. I told her about that as well as the fact that I was trying to help him with his small drinking problem. She was surprised by what I told her, but I couldn't really blame her for that.

Then she asked me if I still had feelings for him. With a heavy sigh, I told her that I did. Then she asked me something I never even thought about before. She asked me if I would ever get back together with Will. The question shocked me so much that it took me a minute or two to answer. I mean, I still loved Will, but he was with Annabella now. And I couldn't possibly imagine him breaking up with Annabella again to be with me again. Just the thought of Will asking me back was absurd to me. There was no way he would do that. Not when I was trying to move on with my life. He wouldn't pull that big of a dick move, right? Right. So I finally answered her and told her that I didn't know. She had hummed at me once more, but I wasn't exactly sure what this one meant this time.

Our session ended shortly after that. She wanted me to keep her updated on the whole Will situation and I told her that I would.

As I ended our Skype session, I thought about what she asked me. I was sure that Will wouldn't want to try to get back together with me, but the more I thought of it, the more I started to doubt myself.

There's a possibility.

I shook my head to clear my thoughts. I tried to distract myself so I patched up the cracks in my wall.



Two days had passed before the news finally made it to my ears. Will had broken up with Annabella. Again. I was confused, shocked, worried, and above all, angry. How could he do that to Annabella again? She didn't deserve that. No one deserved that. I was so angry at him that when I walked into first period and he said hi to me, I completely ignored him and glared at him instead. He was probably confused as why I did that seeing as how he did nothing to me, but I furious at him for what he did to Annabella. She was my friend and Will was heartless. And I loved that heartless bastard. That fact only made me angrier.

First period passed and I didn't say a word to Will or even glance his way again for that matter.



When third period rolled around and we had free time to work on our lab work with our lab partners, I vented to Chris about Will.

"Can you believe that asshole?" I asked angrily as I tried to keep my voice down. When Chris opened his mouth to say something, I stopped him as I held up my finger. "Don't even answer that. I already know what you're going to say. You're going to say, 'Yeah, of course I can believe him. He's William bloody Harper and he's an arse'," I mocked in my best English accent. Chris shrugged before he nodded.

"Why'd you even ask then?" he asked as he continued working on our lab worksheet.

"I just needed to vent," I said as I crossed my arms over my chest.

"Why are you even mad?" he asked with another shrug.

"Chris, he broke up with Annabella. Again! Who fucking does that?"

"William Harper, apparently," he muttered under his breath.

"Exactly! William fucking Harper! Who the fuck does he think he is?!" Chris looked up at me before he replied.

"William fucking Harper...?" he asked slowly as if I just asked the easiest question in the world. I narrowed my eyes at him and he held up his hands in defense. "Sorry," he quickly apologized. I grunted before I rolled my eyes at him.

"I'm just so angry because of what he did to her. She doesn't deserve that. She deserves so much better than that. She deserves someone who's worthy of her time and affection. Someone who won't put her through shit like this," I explained.

"Aren't you glad she broke up with Will then? If I'm hearing you correctly, then you're pretty much saying Will wasn't worthy of her. Who do you think is worthy of Annabella then?"

"Travis," I replied simply without really thinking about my answer. As soon as I said his name, Chris' eyes widened.

"What?" he asked in surprise. My own eyes widened in realization at what I just said. I wasn't supposed to blurt that out. I quickly looked down at my lab paper as if it was the most interesting thing in the world.

"Oh, nothing," I said quickly.

"You said Travis," he said as he tried to stay on the topic.

"Did I?" I asked as I feigned obliviousness. "I must have said the wrong thing then..." I trailed off with a shrug.

"Nicole Greene! Tell me what you know right now!" he ordered me with a stern look on his face. As soon as I saw his face, I knew he wouldn't let it go until I told him the truth. I sighed before I answered him.

"Okay, fine," I said with an eye roll. "I don't even think I'm supposed to be saying this, but... Travis and Annabella had a thing during the summer," I whispered to him quietly. His eyes widened once more at the new information.

"What?!" he asked in shock. I reached forward and covered his mouth when a few people around us looked at us in surprise.

"Shh!" I slowly lowered my hands from his mouth.

"Are you serious?" he asked me with raised eyebrows. I nodded.

"Travis told me."

"Blimey..." he muttered with a stunned look on his face.

"I didn't tell you this, alright?" I warned him with a finger in his face. He shoved my hand away as he replied.

"Of course," he said with an eye roll as if that was obvious. "Really though? Travis and Annabella?" I nodded again. "Do you think that now Annabella and Will are broken up that Annabella and Travis are gonna try at it again?" I shrugged at his question.

"I don't know. It'd be nice, I guess."

"Then what about you?"

"What about me?" I asked in confusion.

"Would you get back together with Will then?" I looked at him in shock. Even though he was the second person to ask me that, I was still surprised. Did everyone really expect Will and I to just get back together again?

"I don't know," I replied with the same thing I told Dr. Matthews. "Do you think we would get back together? Should we?" Chris' opinion was actually really important to me. He only shrugged though.

"I don't know, Nicole. It's up to you."

"What do you think though?" I pressed.

"I think," he started slowly. "I think two of my best mates are completely miserable without each other, no matter how much they deny it." I looked at him in shock.

Is this what he really thought of Will and I?

I didn't know what to say to that so instead we dropped the subject completely and worked on our lab worksheet for the rest of the period.