Here We Go Again

Two days had passed since we arrived back in England. We were settling back in great and I was starting to look forward to when school was going to start up again. I was going to have to wait a little more than three weeks for that though.

Will and I spent most of our time in our room just hanging out. And on more than one occasion, we would spend our time together on his bed just making out. I wasn't complaining about that, because I enjoyed it, I really did. There was one thing I hadn't mentioned to Will though.

Even though I was happy just kissing him and being with him, I wanted more. I wanted to give him everything, but I didn't know how to tell him that. I knew he was ready at any time, but I still didn't know how to go about this. I mean, just two days ago, I was kind of insecure about the whole sex thing with Will, but the more I thought about it, the more I felt I was ready. I loved Will and he loved me back. And I was willing to give him one of the most precious things I had, because I couldn't imagine giving it to anyone else other than him.

So when I got ready for bed, I made sure to wear nice matching underwear. I was planning to do this tonight.

After I showered and brushed my teeth, I changed into one of Will's big gray t-shirts that I wore to bed a lot and a pair of pajama shorts. When I was done changing, I let Will use the bathroom so he could get ready for bed. I had the habit of sleeping in his bed a lot of the time now, so he wasn't surprised to find me in his bed when he finished with the bathroom. I looked up at him and he had changed into a pair of black sweatpants and a thin white t-shirt. He ran his fingers through his hair quickly and I couldn't stop myself from biting my bottom lip. He was such an attractive guy and he was all mine.

Will crawled into his bed next to me and I made room for him. When he got comfortable, he spoke up. "I forgot about the light," he said as he looked past me at the light on his bedside table. Before he could reach over me, I stopped him.

"I got it," I said as I leaned over and turned off the light myself. I turned back to Will and he was leaning back into his bed, his arms open for me. I leaned into him and let myself be hugged by him. "So..." I started awkwardly.

"So... What?" he asked me. I shrugged in his arms and I could just tell he was rolling his eyes at me. I looked up at him and the faint moonlight from the window above his bed post left me with little light to see him.

"Do you remember when you walked into the room when I was changing after my shower nearly a year ago?" I asked bluntly. A look of shock crossed his face before he answered.

"What are you talking about?" he asked me.

"It was the first day of school," I started. "I had pissed you off after school, so you left the room to cool off, I assumed." Will nodded and I continued. "Well, I took a shower and I was in only a towel in front of my wardrobe and I was holding my underwear and you walked in. And being the pervert that you were, you watched until I finally noticed you were there. Remember?" I asked as I tried to jog his memory.

"Right," he said. "I remember that now. What about it?" he asked me.

"Do you remember what kind of underwear it was?" He paused as he thought back to it.

"Red lace," he said as a knowing smile made its way onto his face.

"You never actually got to see me in them though, right?"

"No, I would have definitely remembered that," he said with a chuckle. I paused before I replied.

"Would you like to?" I asked him. I could feel the blood rush up to my cheeks before I even finished my question.

"What?" he asked as he looked down at me. I avoided eye contact with him and instead took his hand that was resting on my side and moved it lower onto my body. "Where did your shorts go?" he asked me.

"It got hot?" I answered lamely. I had taken off my shorts and tossed them into my wardrobe before Will had left the bathroom.

"Nicole, what are you trying to say?"

"What does it look like I'm trying to say? I'm asking if you want to see me in that red lace underwear."

"Well, yes, of course I do, but-" I cut him off as I pushed away from him and removed his gray t-shirt from my body. "What-" he started, but I cut him off once again as I leaned up and kissed him. He didn't bother to speak again as he kissed me back. As Will switched our positions so I was on my back and he was on top of me, I wrapped my arms around his neck. We continued to kiss for nearly a minute or two before he pulled away from me. "Wait," he started. "I actually do want to see you in that red lace," he said quietly as he looked down at me. I felt so self-conscious of myself that I started to fidget under his stare. I stopped though when I felt his hands on my bare sides. "You're beautiful, you know that?" I didn't bother to reply as he continued to run his fingers up and down my body. Even if I still had control of my vocal cords at the moment, I probably wouldn't know how to reply to that. "The things you do..." he trailed off as he continued to drag his fingers across my skin. I grabbed his hands and stopped him. He looked up at me with a look of confusion on his face.

"I want to tell you something, but I can't form words correctly when you're touching me like that," I admitted. I saw a smirk slowly make its way onto his face before I continued. "Will, I love you and I can't imagine myself with anyone else but you. I've given nearly all of myself to you, except one thing. And tonight, I want to give that last thing to you," I finished.

"You mean," he started and I nodded at him.

"Yeah, that," I said.

"Nicole," he started as he pushed himself off his bed and leaned back. "this is a big step," he said. By now, his legs were straddling both my legs and he sat back on his knees.

"I know," I said as I sat up. "And I'm ready for it."

"Are you sure?"

"I wouldn't be doing this right now if I wasn't."

"I don't want to rush you."

"You're not. I want to do this." I could tell he was debating this as I could see it written on his face. "Will," I said as I reached up and touched his shoulder. "I love you."

"And I love you," he replied. I smiled and leaned up to kiss him. Will gently laid me back down onto his bed as he continued to kiss me. His hands were at my sides, but then they once again traveled up and down my body. As his lips left mine and trailed down to my neck, I couldn't stop myself as I spoke up.

"I've never done this before," I said.

"I know," he said softly as he planted kisses along my collarbone.

"I've never given myself to anyone like this before," I continued. Will stopped what he was doing and looked at me. He had a soft expression on his face.

"I know," he repeated. "And I won't let you regret this." I saw his facial expression change though. "But are you sure about this? I mean, we haven't been dating for that long. We can wait longer if you want..." Will said as he pulled away from me again.

"I never expected you to be the type to refuse sex before..." I said with a small smirk.

"I'm serious, Nicole. This is your first time. You said it yourself. I just don't want it to be rushed."

"Will, it's not like I just started liking you or something. I've loved you for a long time. I've already told you. I feel as if I'm ready for this," I said as I gently caressed his sides.

"Are you sure? Really, it's fine if you want to wait-" I silenced him by leaning up and kissing him on the lips.

"We just went through this. I'm ready," I said when I pulled away. Will slowly nodded before he removed his shirt. "But please be gentle!" I said dramatically, partly joking to break the tension, but partly serious so he wouldn't break me. Will forced out a chuckle.

"Alright then," he said as he pressed his body against mine and kissed me. As I really got into kissing him, he pulled away from me. He ran his fingers down my arms all the way to my hands and held them just above my head. "But there's just one more thing," he said once he looked at me.

"What now?!" I asked in an exasperated voice.

"Your wristbands," he said. "You have to take them off." I could feel my face pale without even needing a mirror to check.

"No," I said.

"Nicole, you want to give yourself completely to me, right?" I nodded at him.

"Yes, of course," I replied.

"Then you need to do this. Remove your wristbands."

"Why?"

"If you want to do this, then remove them. Do you think I care that you have scars on your wrists? I don't. Do you think I'm going to judge you for them or think any less of you because of them? I won't."

"But why?" I practically begged him, tears almost in my eyes.

"I want all or nothing from you. What's it gonna be?" I bit my lip nervously as I looked down.

"All," I finally replied. I let Will remove the wristbands himself and when he did, I felt even more naked than being in just my underwear.

"See?" he said with a smile on his face.

"Shut up," I said as I got out of his grip he had on my arms and wrapped them around his neck once more. I pulled him down into another kiss and he kissed me back eagerly.

Giving myself to Will was one thing, but being without my wristbands and being completely bare in front of him was another thing. Will was right though. If I truly wanted to give him everything, removing my wristbands and showing him myself was the way to go. And after that, there was no turning back now.