Broken
Broken
A teenage boy sits on a metal bench watching as other teenagers slowly begin to flood the hall. He sighs softly to himself and forces himself back to the conversation his friends are having.
"Look at him! What a fag!" Tom snickered staring at another boy down the hallway. So what if he dresses effeminately? he thinks. What would you say if you knew I had a boyfriend?
"You're so mean! Are you comin' with us this weekend? We're gunna go muddin' near the river." Rae was smiling in anticipation and looking at him a little worriedly. He had told her his secret a couple days ago and she was cool with it. He wondered what his male friends would think. They'd probably torment him like they did everyone else.
He shuddered to himself and stood up slinging his backpack over one shoulder. He pushed his nearly-black brown hair out of his eyes and started walking to the stairs. "I'm gonna head to class," he tossed over his shoulder before starting up the steps.
He always walked a little hunched over and stared at the floor to hide his face. He wasn't hideous nor was he good looking, just very average. He ignored everyone and they ignored him as he weaved through the hall of chatting teens. He waved at Kelly as he passed by and smiled at Terry as she walked by with Anna and Emma. Kelly was the fist person in school he had told. She was always nice to him and would talk to him as if he was part of the cool-kid crowd she hung with.
The rest of the day passed normally. It began with Calculus and ended with online AP Chemistry. He got home, tossed his bag to the floor and began to raid the fridge.
"I fixed some burgers, they're in the fridge," his mom shouted at him from the bathroom. He ignored her and popped two burgers in the microwave. While they reheated he spread two buns with barbecue sauce. The microwave beeped and he slid the patties on a bun, slapped a chunk of cheese on each one and headed for the door.
He was nearly down the steps when his phone started ringing. He shoved a burger in his mouth and dug it out of his pocket. A text. From Zack. His heart sped up and he smiled around the food in his mouth. He read the text: 'hey dollface how r u?? <3 ;)'. He smiled and replied 'missing u & u? <3 u'.
He scarfed the two burgers and sat on the swings around back texting his boyfriend back and forth for a while. Their conversation was the usual day to day couple stuff: I miss you, I love you, How was your day, etc. The sun started to sink and his doubts decided to assail him anew so he texted Zack. Their conversation went like this:
Him: Can I ask you a question? And I want you to be straightforward and honest.
Zack: Am I really gay? Nah, I'm a flammin lesbo. haha. What is it?
Him: Why do you love me so much? I mean you're a great looking guy and you could have anyone you want. Why me?
Zack: Cause you show what's in ya. You're not fake like alot of retards i've come across who are all "omg ur so hawt" and bullshit. you're you, and a adorable too ;)
Him: Your the only person to say you loved me... And the only person to mean it each time you say it.
Zack: Because no matter how much of a dick I am I still love ya dollface ;)
Him: God why are you so irresistable to me...
Zack: Thats cause beyond my jackass ways I'm a carring guy duhh dipshit
Him: I love you so much. I couldn't survive without you
Zack: Nah, you'll survive. I wish I had fucking calling so i could molest your ears with my voice ;)
Him: Me too. It's like 12 and I have school so I'll txt u n the morning. I love you.
Zack: I love u too cutey. 'night.
He slept peacefully that night for the last time. The next morning he received no replies from Zack, but he shrugged it off. He might be busy or still sleeping. By fifth period he was worried. Maybe something had happened. He sent another text under his desk and waited. By the time he got home that afternoon he was terrified. Then he got this message: Who is this?
He texted back: It's me, Zack, your boyfriend
He received: Who's Zack? followed by a call with a man's voice on the other end and a woman's in the background, "Stop texting my girlfriend," he said and hung up. He dropped his phone on the bed and fell back on his pillows. He kept thinking it was a mistake, it must have been. He waited for two weeks before he finally knew: Zack had intentionally abandoned him.
They were supposed to run away together that summer. They had made plans when he came to visit from New York. Suddenly, wrenching sobs took hold of him. They spent every summer together for three years since Zack lived in New York and he lived in Virginia. They had cuddled during movies and held hands on the trail. They had kissed goodnight and he had been coaxed into sharing a shower. His heart shattered and he cried for hours.
The next day he was sitting on the bench with Tom and Rae as they chatted. Outwardly he was acting normal. Laughing and smiling at the jokes. Talking about this movie and that TV show. Inside he was dead and crying. None of his friends could know. Not even the ones that knew his sexuality.
He had to keep his feelings to himself. He had to pretend to be whole, when on the inside he was broken.
"Look at him! What a fag!" Tom snickered staring at another boy down the hallway. So what if he dresses effeminately? he thinks. What would you say if you knew I had a boyfriend?
"You're so mean! Are you comin' with us this weekend? We're gunna go muddin' near the river." Rae was smiling in anticipation and looking at him a little worriedly. He had told her his secret a couple days ago and she was cool with it. He wondered what his male friends would think. They'd probably torment him like they did everyone else.
He shuddered to himself and stood up slinging his backpack over one shoulder. He pushed his nearly-black brown hair out of his eyes and started walking to the stairs. "I'm gonna head to class," he tossed over his shoulder before starting up the steps.
He always walked a little hunched over and stared at the floor to hide his face. He wasn't hideous nor was he good looking, just very average. He ignored everyone and they ignored him as he weaved through the hall of chatting teens. He waved at Kelly as he passed by and smiled at Terry as she walked by with Anna and Emma. Kelly was the fist person in school he had told. She was always nice to him and would talk to him as if he was part of the cool-kid crowd she hung with.
The rest of the day passed normally. It began with Calculus and ended with online AP Chemistry. He got home, tossed his bag to the floor and began to raid the fridge.
"I fixed some burgers, they're in the fridge," his mom shouted at him from the bathroom. He ignored her and popped two burgers in the microwave. While they reheated he spread two buns with barbecue sauce. The microwave beeped and he slid the patties on a bun, slapped a chunk of cheese on each one and headed for the door.
He was nearly down the steps when his phone started ringing. He shoved a burger in his mouth and dug it out of his pocket. A text. From Zack. His heart sped up and he smiled around the food in his mouth. He read the text: 'hey dollface how r u?? <3 ;)'. He smiled and replied 'missing u & u? <3 u'.
He scarfed the two burgers and sat on the swings around back texting his boyfriend back and forth for a while. Their conversation was the usual day to day couple stuff: I miss you, I love you, How was your day, etc. The sun started to sink and his doubts decided to assail him anew so he texted Zack. Their conversation went like this:
Him: Can I ask you a question? And I want you to be straightforward and honest.
Zack: Am I really gay? Nah, I'm a flammin lesbo. haha. What is it?
Him: Why do you love me so much? I mean you're a great looking guy and you could have anyone you want. Why me?
Zack: Cause you show what's in ya. You're not fake like alot of retards i've come across who are all "omg ur so hawt" and bullshit. you're you, and a adorable too ;)
Him: Your the only person to say you loved me... And the only person to mean it each time you say it.
Zack: Because no matter how much of a dick I am I still love ya dollface ;)
Him: God why are you so irresistable to me...
Zack: Thats cause beyond my jackass ways I'm a carring guy duhh dipshit
Him: I love you so much. I couldn't survive without you
Zack: Nah, you'll survive. I wish I had fucking calling so i could molest your ears with my voice ;)
Him: Me too. It's like 12 and I have school so I'll txt u n the morning. I love you.
Zack: I love u too cutey. 'night.
He slept peacefully that night for the last time. The next morning he received no replies from Zack, but he shrugged it off. He might be busy or still sleeping. By fifth period he was worried. Maybe something had happened. He sent another text under his desk and waited. By the time he got home that afternoon he was terrified. Then he got this message: Who is this?
He texted back: It's me, Zack, your boyfriend
He received: Who's Zack? followed by a call with a man's voice on the other end and a woman's in the background, "Stop texting my girlfriend," he said and hung up. He dropped his phone on the bed and fell back on his pillows. He kept thinking it was a mistake, it must have been. He waited for two weeks before he finally knew: Zack had intentionally abandoned him.
They were supposed to run away together that summer. They had made plans when he came to visit from New York. Suddenly, wrenching sobs took hold of him. They spent every summer together for three years since Zack lived in New York and he lived in Virginia. They had cuddled during movies and held hands on the trail. They had kissed goodnight and he had been coaxed into sharing a shower. His heart shattered and he cried for hours.
The next day he was sitting on the bench with Tom and Rae as they chatted. Outwardly he was acting normal. Laughing and smiling at the jokes. Talking about this movie and that TV show. Inside he was dead and crying. None of his friends could know. Not even the ones that knew his sexuality.
He had to keep his feelings to himself. He had to pretend to be whole, when on the inside he was broken.