Physical Therapy

Back in my condo, I’m a little less solid in my resolve. My visions of coming upstairs and seducing quickly fade, and I am having trouble making eye contact with him. We awkwardly sit next to each other on my couch, me staring straight ahead, and I can feel him staring at me.

“I think I am going to go to bed, I’m exhausted,” I turned to look at him, “just completely exhausted.”

“Okay, cool if I stay on the couch again?”

“No.” I hold his eyes, and he looks confused.

“Will you sleep with me?” I hope he knows I mean sleep, not sex, and when I see the smile cross his face, I know he gets it.

“That sounds amazing.”

I get dressed in my normal pajamas and turn down my bed.

What am I doing?

I have never shared this bed with anyone before. I run my hands over the sheet and realize that this is a turning point, my room has always been a safe place for me, my bed is my haven and even that I am only here every few weeks, it’s still just mine.

I must have been staring for a while, I didn’t even hear Jon come in until he touched my shoulder.

“You know I’m not expecting this, you don’t have to share this space with me, I don’t even know if I deserve this yet.”

“I want to, I do have to warn you though, I haven’t shared a bed, in years, so I’m not exactly sure how this is going to work.” I put my head in my hands as I realize how ridiculous I sound, he wraps his arms around me and places a kiss on my cheek. He walks around to the other side of the bed and gives it a once over.

“Why does your bed seem…”he stretches his arms open wide and closes them again, “so small?” Looking at my quizzically.

“It’s a full size?” I guess I never realized that full is a small size bed.

“Full? That’s so tiny! How do you survive?” He asks me with a teasing tone in his voice.

Shrugging my shoulders, “I’m a tiny lady, so it seems like a giant bed. And you totally aren’t going to fit.”
“Nah, I won’t but don’t worry, princess. I have slept in less comfortable and cozy places, feet hanging off the bed won’t bother me.” Throwing the comforting, classic Jon Good smile my way. I climbed into bed and he followed me lead. We both leaned against the headboard, and I laid my hand in his, he took it and started massaging my hand with his thumb, it was calming and relaxing.

“Can I ask you a question?” He said it softly, I leaned my head onto his shoulder, this is the most intimacy I have had since college, and it feels so surreal.

“Anything.” And I mean it, he could ask me anything and I would answer.

“Why haven’t you dated anyone since,” he struggled to find the right word, “it happened? You mentioned Corey, and then said that you haven’t shared a bed with anyone, I figured as much with sex, but just sleeping with someone?”

His questioning was soft, letting me know that there was no pressure to answer.

“I couldn’t bring myself to trust a man, really anyone after that. I was so involved in therapy and getting my Master’s, that I didn’t leave time for dating, or even a social life. Once I got the job with the Blackhawks out of my program, I made friends with some of the guys, but really kept everyone at a distance, until I met Phil. Phil, he really was my saving grace. He got me to go out, socialize, do things with my life, instead of work, workout, and just be alone.”

Deep breath.

‘That’s how I met Corey, he had just gotten out of a bad relationship, and we were just comfort. I wouldn’t even call it a relationship, he was more so just comfort. We talked about work, sports, and just stuff, he never knew anything deep but it was comforting. I was never attracted to him, it was just…convenient. And that sounds shitty, but he was a big part of me kind of accepting, that I didn’t need love, or relationships, or anything. But then you, you came.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well you weren’t like Phil, and you weren’t like Corey. You just made me feel different, all of these feelings I thought I could live without, that I could be just alone forever, that all went away the first time you were here, when I showed you my scars. And I felt like, maybe I wanted to try that, maybe see how that felt.”

“How what felt?”

“How it felt to fall in love again. How it felt to be in love again.” And I stared at him, and he smiled. I yawned big and I felt him turning his body towards me, he pulled me into him, my back pressed up against his chest.

“Maeve, I love you. I am in love with you.” He whispered into my ear, he reached back and shut the lamp off. I fell asleep quickly, but with a small smile on my face.

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Hearing her say that was amazing, I was hoping that she was feeling that way, I had been in love with her since that first time I stepped in her bedroom, and now here I was laying in her tiny ass bed, holding her as she slept.

Eventually I was able to fall asleep too, her bed was the same type of memory foam that I had in Vegas, so I slept well. Minus my feet hanging off of the end, but I could live with that for now.

The sun started to stream into the room and I heard a text tone coming from the living rom, the clock read 7:19am.

Too fucking early. I rolled my head to see the sight beside me, I always slept on my back, and apparently Maeve was a stomach sleeper. Her head rested on my arm, her arm draped over my abs, and a leg draped over mine. Even in her sleep, she had let me know that she picked me.

I watched her back rise and fall with every breath, she looks so peaceful and serene.

I go to get out of bed, trying not to wake her up, when I feel her hand grab onto my t-shirt, her face betrays her as a smile breaks out.

“You aren’t going anywhere Jon.”

And she pulls me into an early morning cuddle session.

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Spending the morning in bed, kissing him, cuddling with him and playing with his hair was perfect. I loved every minute of it, and I know he did too. Knowing how he felt was amazing, to feel loved was more then anything I could have asked for.

But I also knew he had a flight to catch, he had Main Event tonight, and a noon flight to catch. I drove him to the airport, hardly speaking the entire time. As I pulled up to the curb at O’Hare, I stepped out to say good bye, as he grabbed his backpack out of the backseat.

And then I lost it, the tears flowed out of me. I had found my person, and I still had five days of vacation left, I wouldn’t see him until Saturday next week, before Main Event that night.

“Hey, hey, it’s only a week.” Apparently mind reading was a talent of his, “And luckily for us there are these things call iPhones, which we can call, text, AND even see each other through.” He holds his phone up and looks at it in awe, showing it me then like he just found the secret to life. I can’t help but crack up.

“See? There is that smile, that perfect smile.” He envelops me in a hug, my head is pressed against his chest, and his smell is clean, like a spearmint and grass blend.

“Text me when you land, please?” I look up, flying always makes me nervous, and then having someone I care about flying, amps up that anxiety.

“You only want me to text you then?!” He scoffs in disgust, “How about I text you the minute I get through security, until they pry my phone from my hands, and then once again when I land, and then constantly until next Saturday? Do you think that can work for you?” He teasingly asks me, a huge smile on his face.

“Sounds perfect.”

“I love you, Ms. Brooks. Look for my text in 8 minutes.” He places a soft kip on my lips, and I want to deepen it, but I remember we are at the drop off curb and he has to get through security.

“Be safe, I’ll miss you.”

And I give him a slight wave as he disappears into the airport doors.