One Love
Audio
I laid facing away from Blake after our fun. I wasn’t ashamed of what I had done, nor was I afraid that he’d regret it. I was afraid of what Andy would think. I shouldn’t have been because Andy has done nothing but hurt me, but as I sat up quickly and started pulling at my hair roughly I could only feel guilt. I felt so conflicted as to what I should do, I mean I’ve liked Blake for years but I don’t think I could ever be with him in that romance way because I don’t want to be used as one of his little toys that he just throws away later. I heard Blake get up and felt his hands gently cup mine and make me release my hair.
“Audio please calm down.” I looked over as Blake as I heard the soft words come from his mouth. This whole ordeal has broken Blake probably just as much as it has me, I could see it in his tired eyes. The way his eyes were red from trying to hide tears he had wanted to shed, the way the bags under his eyes seemed to droop lower, and worst of all the way he looked at me with such sadness. I looked away from his and buried my head in between my knees.
“Is this because of what we did Audio?” I shook my head no and he sat beside me.
“No, but at the same time kinda.” Even as I heard the confusion in my voice I wanted to chuckle. I knew what I wanted but I wasn’t sure how I’d go after it.
“Talk to me about it?” I raised up my head and looked over at him.
“I really, really, like you Blake. More than just us being friends. What we did was marvelous but Andy has me so whipped that I feel so guilty for cheating on him even though him and I aren’t a thing anymore. Plus you’re not known for being committed to anyone and I don’t want to end up being one of those guys you screw around with just to be dumped in the trash. I’ve already been thrown away like garbage by my brother I don’t need it from you too.” I watched Blake’s expression go from surprised, angry, and then hurt as he thought about everything I had just told him.
“Is that why you never said anything? Because you thought I’d just use you and throw you away? Is that really how you see me?!” I flinched from his yelling and got up off the bed.
“Yes and I’m sorry! I didn’t mean for it to sound so hurtful but I’ve seen how you were with all those other guys and I just couldn’t be one of them, and you know what? You were so busy burying your dick up different guy’s asses that you weren’t there when I needed you! You didn’t even notice I was being abused!” I felt tears coming to my eyes, I didn’t mean to say such hurtful things but I was angry at the world and my mouth is like a sewer because only shit seems to come out of it when I’m mad. I could see by his expression that Blake was extremely pissed now. He got up and bushed past me, purposely hitting my shoulder, I watched him leave and sat on the bed crying.
“I really know how to fuck things up, no wonder Andy hated me…” I laid back on the bed and closed my eyes. I couldn’t sleep even if I wanted to, and I couldn’t leave because Blake was out there so I chose to leave via the fire-escape ladder next to our bedroom window. I knew I shouldn’t being that there was a chance Andy could find us but I did anyways. I didn’t care about that anything could happen to me.
“Audio please calm down.” I looked over as Blake as I heard the soft words come from his mouth. This whole ordeal has broken Blake probably just as much as it has me, I could see it in his tired eyes. The way his eyes were red from trying to hide tears he had wanted to shed, the way the bags under his eyes seemed to droop lower, and worst of all the way he looked at me with such sadness. I looked away from his and buried my head in between my knees.
“Is this because of what we did Audio?” I shook my head no and he sat beside me.
“No, but at the same time kinda.” Even as I heard the confusion in my voice I wanted to chuckle. I knew what I wanted but I wasn’t sure how I’d go after it.
“Talk to me about it?” I raised up my head and looked over at him.
“I really, really, like you Blake. More than just us being friends. What we did was marvelous but Andy has me so whipped that I feel so guilty for cheating on him even though him and I aren’t a thing anymore. Plus you’re not known for being committed to anyone and I don’t want to end up being one of those guys you screw around with just to be dumped in the trash. I’ve already been thrown away like garbage by my brother I don’t need it from you too.” I watched Blake’s expression go from surprised, angry, and then hurt as he thought about everything I had just told him.
“Is that why you never said anything? Because you thought I’d just use you and throw you away? Is that really how you see me?!” I flinched from his yelling and got up off the bed.
“Yes and I’m sorry! I didn’t mean for it to sound so hurtful but I’ve seen how you were with all those other guys and I just couldn’t be one of them, and you know what? You were so busy burying your dick up different guy’s asses that you weren’t there when I needed you! You didn’t even notice I was being abused!” I felt tears coming to my eyes, I didn’t mean to say such hurtful things but I was angry at the world and my mouth is like a sewer because only shit seems to come out of it when I’m mad. I could see by his expression that Blake was extremely pissed now. He got up and bushed past me, purposely hitting my shoulder, I watched him leave and sat on the bed crying.
“I really know how to fuck things up, no wonder Andy hated me…” I laid back on the bed and closed my eyes. I couldn’t sleep even if I wanted to, and I couldn’t leave because Blake was out there so I chose to leave via the fire-escape ladder next to our bedroom window. I knew I shouldn’t being that there was a chance Andy could find us but I did anyways. I didn’t care about that anything could happen to me.