My Heart Can't Be Broken If It's Not Beating

That morning when Joe and I confronted the rest of guys it was…lets just say it was incredibly awkward. The kitchen was slightly messy with the leftover ingredients that Pete had used to make his drink and Patrick and Andy were sitting quietly at the table. Pete however, was nowhere in sight.

Joe and I entered slowly, hand-in-hand as Patrick and Andy's heads shot up. Patrick immediately jumped out of his seat and ran over.

"Where on earth have you been?" he asked anxiously.

"Its ok Pat, I was just hunting" I lied, wincing slightly.

All of a sudden Pete stormed in the room looking slightly panicked, something I had never seen before.

"I looked everywhere and I even asked Travie but no one has seen her" he didn't even look at anyone he just ran into the kitchen and picked up the half full cup on the bench and began to raise it to his lips but stopped when he saw me.

"We've been looking- wait, why are you holding hands?" he furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. Patrick and Andy finally took notice of Joe and I's position before their faces resembled Pete's.

Joe and I looked knowingly at each other before turning to look at all the guys.

"We're kind of… together" Joe answered shyly with a small smile, gently squeezing my hand. Until then, Pete had been hurriedly swallowing the contents of the cup but noticeably choked after Joe spoke.

"Kind of together?" he repeated angrily, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand and approaching us.

"You mean we've been here, worried sick, trying to find you when in fact you've just been here fucking your little boyfriend?!" he spat.

"Pete, take it easy" Patrick warned, trying to block Pete. It was no use though, Pete just ignored him.

"Do you even know what you're doing by being together? You think you're going to be focused on hunting? And what about when it doesn't work out! What's it going to be like for the rest of us?" he was fuming now, and even though he seemed to be angry with both of us he was directing his words at me. I couldn't take it.

I dropped Joe's hand and stepped closer to Pete so I was up in his face. Even though Pete was short, I was shorter.

"You think that's what I've been doing? We've been together for the whole of 20 minutes! I have spent the entire night hunting horrible creatures just like you. And I don't think its any of your business to say who I can be with and its certainly not your business to tell me if the relationship is going to work or not!" I was breathing heavily now, clenching and unclenching my fists, resisting the urge to punch him in his stunned face . Pete just managed to make me angrier than anyone else on the planet.

Now was just staring at me, searching my eyes, my mind even, but I didn't let him see. He looked confused, not because I had just screamed at him (that was normal), but because he wasn't used to the fact that I had now perfected the ability to block him out of my mind and I think that scared him.

I took this as an opening and wordlessly grabbed Joe's hand pulling him along behind me to my room.

******

No, I didn't actually invite Joe into my room and have my way with him. Like I said, we hadn't even been together long. So I just kissed him goodnight (even though it was morning) and shut my door, falling onto my bed and begging for sleep. Unfortunately, like every other night it didn't come, so I was left alone with my thoughts. Something I was definitely used to.

After I kissed Joe once we had come down from the roof, he had confessed his little crush on me and I couldn't help but feel flattered. So we decided to give 'us' a go. We knew it wasn't the best idea but if it didn't work out, we'd always be friends first. Then there was the fact that Pete was furious with me and I couldn't really see why. And why had everyone been looking for me? I'm only a guest here; I can go where I want without them needing to know all the time. But most of all I was feeling incredibly guilty about lying to everyone about where I had been and that I would be seeing Lena again the following night. I wasn't sure how long I'd be able to keep her a secret.

Whilst the others slept I spent most of the day thinking, then training, then eating and then thinking again.

Fucking routine.