Here's to the Night
First You Lost Your Angels
I tap my fingers against the steering wheel to the beat of a song by Snow White’s Poison Bite. As a journalist for a rock magazine, it’s my job to be on top of anything musical. Mainly I deal with mainstream bands but since I’m also a music blogger, I get to listen to more underground bands like this. If I could get paid to be a blogger -more then I get paid now-I would quit my job and become a professional blogger. Most music that ends up being mainstream kind of sucks.
I look back at Emma and see that she bouncing her head along to the beat. A smile creeps onto my lips as I return my attention to the road. Brad always hated the fact I listen to my music around her. He honestly thinks country music is more suitable for a five year old to listen to. Sure some of the music is good but most of the songs are about heartbreak; rock isn’t like that. He has the nerve to think it’s all about sex and drugs. Rock music can be pretty powerful and meaningful; it all depends on the band.
I turn down the music as turn down the street heading to my parents house. “Em, you excited to see Grandma and Gramps?” I ask, earning an immediate a delighted squeal. My smile grows on my lips, she loves her grandparents even if she doesn’t get to see them that often.
“Are we there yet?” She asks followed by a yawn.
“Yea, we’re almost there.” I inform her as I continue to silently drive down the street; the street that can bring fear in my heart as well as joy.
”You’re gonna have to go home sometime, Kris.” Matt says as he drives me down the street my parents live; the street I grew up on.
“This fight was the biggest fight I ever had with them and it was over me going to Boston.” I mutter, knowing that topic is taboo for me and Matt to talk about.
“They don’t want you to go?” He asks me, earning a sigh to escape my lips. “Come on, you know you can talk to me about anything.”
“Yea, I know that but this is about Boston. We promised we’d worry about it when the time came; not now.” I explain. “Plus it’s not that they don’t want me to go it’s just that they think I’m going to fail. That going out to Emerson is a waste of money. They believe if I’m going to drop out of college, it should be on the west coast.”
“You’re not going to drop out, you’re going to graduate and prove everyone wrong.” He assures me and even if I’m not looking at him, I can picture his smile.
I feel the car stop followed by Matt killing the engine. I turn to him with a sad look in my eye; I’m truly afraid to go inside, “I can’t go in; not alone at least.”
“I plan on going in there with you anyway.” He assures me, “now come on, let’s get inside.”
I park outside on the curb before killing the engine. Emma squeals in the back as I unbuckle myself before getting out of the car. Just as I shut the driver side door, my mother walks out of the house followed by two people of my past. Gary and Kim Sanders.
“I didn’t think you’d be coming so soon!” My mother squeals as she runs down the stairs as I take Emma out of the back seat. Emma immediately runs to her grandmother, tackling her legs. As my mother pulls her granddaughter into a hug, Kim looks me up and down taking in ever inch of me; silently judging I’m sure. I’m the girl that broke her son’s heart, I’m public enemy number one.
Surprisingly, Kim walks down the stairs and walks over to me; pulling me into a back breaking hug, “It’s so good to see you Kristina.”
“It’s good to see you too.” I slowly say as I pull away from her, “it’s been a long time.”
“Too long.” she agrees, “You here for the reunion?”
“Yea, Gretchen talked me into it.” I reply, “I would have been in sooner by work has been crazy.” I explain to her, hoping she gets what I mean.
“They would have wanted you here.” She tells me, “especially Matt.”
“I’m not so sure about that. I never seen Matt so broken before.” I sigh to her as Gary walks up to us.
“Then you shouldn’t have left.” Kim bitterly says. I grit my teeth as my hands form fists at my side.
“Come on, let’s go.” Gary says, sensing things were about to get ugly. “Kris, it’s nice seeing you again. You and Gretchen should come by our place for the cook out. The boys would love to see you guys.”
“I’ll think about it Gary.” I smile at him, “thanks for the invite.” He smiles at me before he guides his wife to their car.
“I’m surprised Kim didn’t rip you a new one.” My mom states as she walks over to me with Emma in her arms.
“Me too.” I mutter before looking at my mom, “she really hates me, doesn’t she?”
“More than any of us like to admit.” She sighs before forcing a fake smile onto her lips, “come on, lets get you two settled in.” A sigh just escapes my lips as I head inside with my mom. I knew coming here was a bad idea, now I’m starting to think that maybe this was a mistake. A big mistake…
I look back at Emma and see that she bouncing her head along to the beat. A smile creeps onto my lips as I return my attention to the road. Brad always hated the fact I listen to my music around her. He honestly thinks country music is more suitable for a five year old to listen to. Sure some of the music is good but most of the songs are about heartbreak; rock isn’t like that. He has the nerve to think it’s all about sex and drugs. Rock music can be pretty powerful and meaningful; it all depends on the band.
I turn down the music as turn down the street heading to my parents house. “Em, you excited to see Grandma and Gramps?” I ask, earning an immediate a delighted squeal. My smile grows on my lips, she loves her grandparents even if she doesn’t get to see them that often.
“Are we there yet?” She asks followed by a yawn.
“Yea, we’re almost there.” I inform her as I continue to silently drive down the street; the street that can bring fear in my heart as well as joy.
”You’re gonna have to go home sometime, Kris.” Matt says as he drives me down the street my parents live; the street I grew up on.
“This fight was the biggest fight I ever had with them and it was over me going to Boston.” I mutter, knowing that topic is taboo for me and Matt to talk about.
“They don’t want you to go?” He asks me, earning a sigh to escape my lips. “Come on, you know you can talk to me about anything.”
“Yea, I know that but this is about Boston. We promised we’d worry about it when the time came; not now.” I explain. “Plus it’s not that they don’t want me to go it’s just that they think I’m going to fail. That going out to Emerson is a waste of money. They believe if I’m going to drop out of college, it should be on the west coast.”
“You’re not going to drop out, you’re going to graduate and prove everyone wrong.” He assures me and even if I’m not looking at him, I can picture his smile.
I feel the car stop followed by Matt killing the engine. I turn to him with a sad look in my eye; I’m truly afraid to go inside, “I can’t go in; not alone at least.”
“I plan on going in there with you anyway.” He assures me, “now come on, let’s get inside.”
I park outside on the curb before killing the engine. Emma squeals in the back as I unbuckle myself before getting out of the car. Just as I shut the driver side door, my mother walks out of the house followed by two people of my past. Gary and Kim Sanders.
“I didn’t think you’d be coming so soon!” My mother squeals as she runs down the stairs as I take Emma out of the back seat. Emma immediately runs to her grandmother, tackling her legs. As my mother pulls her granddaughter into a hug, Kim looks me up and down taking in ever inch of me; silently judging I’m sure. I’m the girl that broke her son’s heart, I’m public enemy number one.
Surprisingly, Kim walks down the stairs and walks over to me; pulling me into a back breaking hug, “It’s so good to see you Kristina.”
“It’s good to see you too.” I slowly say as I pull away from her, “it’s been a long time.”
“Too long.” she agrees, “You here for the reunion?”
“Yea, Gretchen talked me into it.” I reply, “I would have been in sooner by work has been crazy.” I explain to her, hoping she gets what I mean.
“They would have wanted you here.” She tells me, “especially Matt.”
“I’m not so sure about that. I never seen Matt so broken before.” I sigh to her as Gary walks up to us.
“Then you shouldn’t have left.” Kim bitterly says. I grit my teeth as my hands form fists at my side.
“Come on, let’s go.” Gary says, sensing things were about to get ugly. “Kris, it’s nice seeing you again. You and Gretchen should come by our place for the cook out. The boys would love to see you guys.”
“I’ll think about it Gary.” I smile at him, “thanks for the invite.” He smiles at me before he guides his wife to their car.
“I’m surprised Kim didn’t rip you a new one.” My mom states as she walks over to me with Emma in her arms.
“Me too.” I mutter before looking at my mom, “she really hates me, doesn’t she?”
“More than any of us like to admit.” She sighs before forcing a fake smile onto her lips, “come on, lets get you two settled in.” A sigh just escapes my lips as I head inside with my mom. I knew coming here was a bad idea, now I’m starting to think that maybe this was a mistake. A big mistake…