Suffer in Silence

How do you make a choice? We make them daily and often not much thought goes into making a decision. Your whole life is made up of choices and is effected by those made by others. My life seems to be effected more by the many choices made by others. You see I am the kid at school that is bullied constantly, and it is often during many of the beatings I get that I contemplate how different my life could have been if I were my sister. She is often the one that sneers and started an argument then steps back for her friends to hit me. Bizarre when I come to think of it, as we are not just sisters, we are identical twins. The difference between us is that I have a mind of my own and her's seems controlled by the pose she hangs around with, and yet I see her flinch with every blow dealt to me but still no back up arrives from her. Yet it is not just at school I face abuse, but at home its verbal not physical from my family. I truly am the black sheep of the family, and they make no bones about how much of an inconvenience I am.

The Bullying seems to get worse as the years go on, argument to death threats. And yet according to my parents I bring it all on myself for being to 'out there' and 'alternative'. Basically too different from Anwen. My choice was to be me, and now I wonder if that could have been the biggest mistake of my life. If I had tried to fit in more, I would face the torment of my daily life.