Just Hold Me

“Go home, you’re drunk, Hayls!” Taylor York said, trying not to burst into laughter at the petite girl stumbling around the room.

It was a celebration marking the end of tour; needless to say, the group had taken full advantage of the chance to unwind and relax after a successful run. Of course there had been disagreements, stress, and technical difficulties during the tour itself, but what tour was ever one hundred percent perfect? What mattered was that they were all able to work it out and remain as level-headed as they possibly could in each situation. Hayley, in particular, had managed to drink more than she originally expected and was dealing with the consequences. It had been a bad idea to go to the bar, but thankfully they were able to take Hayley home and make sure she was safe.

“I have this feeling that I’m gonna end up holding your hair back before the night’s over,” Jeremy Davis mused as he kept Hayley steady, hoping that she wouldn’t topple over and hurt herself. Normally, Hayley didn’t drink much but this time around, she went full throttle and would most likely regret it if she had to spend the rest of the evening being well acquainted with the porcelain throne.

“I’m fine. I’m not even that drunk, Jeremy,” muttered Hayley. Jeremy and Taylor looked at each other as the words left her mouth; as if they hadn’t heard that one before. It was the telltale sign when someone was drunk: denial. Not to mention, Hayley had slurred his name so it sounded less like “Jeremy” and more like “Jermy.”

While Taylor urged Hayley to drink a glass of water and lie on the couch, Jeremy looked around the apartment. Hayley’s apartment was furnished how he expected it to be: simple, with personal touches that made him smile as some memories resurfaced during his sweep of the room. He hadn’t looked that closely at the memorabilia she’d collected over the years until now and it was a reflective as well as nostalgic moment for him. There were the awards framed on the walls, candid Polaroid snapshots, and even a small collection of art and items that were fan made. All of it humbled him and was a reminder of how much they’d accomplished, which was very comforting.

“You have to keep me awake. I can’t fall asleep before he gets here.” Hayley had managed to take off her shoes and was glancing at the TV and talking to Taylor, the former failing at trying to distract her. Taylor breezed through the channels, cringing as he realized that many of them were playing late night infomercials.

Jeremy walked over and plopped onto the couch. “Because everyone is really interested in buying a high tech blender at this hour.” He shook his head at the overly enthusiastic salespeople onscreen demonstrating the various features of the device. This was the exact opposite of what anyone should be watching if they wanted to stay awake. Unless they were a shopaholic. Then it would actually be effective.

“What time did he say he would be getting here?” Taylor asked as the next infomercial for an all purpose cleaning fluid started playing.

The “he” in question was Hayley’s boyfriend, Oliver Sykes. Oliver, or Oli, was well known as the front man of Bring Me the Horizon and together, the duo formed one of the music scene’s most popular but highly controversial power couples. They were viewed as popular within the scene because of the fact that they appeared to personify the concept of “opposites attract.” Hayley was the image of refined beauty and elegance with an edge, while Oli was modified from head to toe and always ready to party and have a good time. Based on the differing genres of their respective bands, many people thought it was either a great match or an awful one. The positive and negative comments didn’t deter them though, as the couple had been together for five years and counting.

“I don’t remember.” Hayley reached over to grab her phone to check her text messages but was intercepted by Jeremy, who held out his hand for it expectantly. There was a strict rule that if any one of them wasn’t in the right state of mind, they would have someone else take their phone away. This was mostly to ensure that no messages or voicemails were sent that could either be angry or weepy. Possibly both.

She handed the phone over with a sigh. Jeremy entered the pass code and found the message, which turned out to be useless because Oli had simply said “I’m going to surprise you, so just be awake when I get there.” Personally, he was starting to get a little tired and was looking forward to going home to his own bed. Tour bus bunks would never replace a comfy California king sized bed as one of his favourite places to relax. He didn’t want to end up sleeping on Hayley’s couch if Oli didn’t show up, that much he knew. During the fetal part of the relationship, Oli had made the mistake of missing Hayley’s birthday party because he’d ended up stoned and half naked in an alleyway after a friend’s bachelor party. Since then, he cleaned up his act and made it clear that he was in the relationship for a long term commitment.

A couple of hours later, Hayley was barely grasping at consciousness. Taylor and Jeremy were on opposite ends of the couch, fast asleep and having a snoring competition. She was thankful that they had taken care of her and, oddly enough, that they had fallen asleep. Because of their snoring, she had no other choice but to stay awake until Oli arrived. She perked up as she heard the locks turning and the door swinging open to reveal a slightly disheveled Oli with a duffel bag and a to-go cup of hot tea. The sound of the door closing woke up Taylor, who began to swipe at his mouth and chin for any drool. Jeremy followed suit, stretching his arms and smoothing down his hair.

She smiled as her two friends stood in front of Oli, sizing him up as they always did. Oli took a sip of tea and winked at her once he noticed that she was peeking at the exchange from her vantage point. “Sorry about being late. There was a delay and then we saw a few fans at the airport and one of them threw up on my shoes.”

“Dude, that’s rough. How was the flight though?” Jeremy’s arms crossed over his chest as Oli shrugged.

“Too fucking long, as expected when I need to see Hayley.” She felt her face heat up as he placed his duffel bag on top of the kitchen island.

“I’m sure. Well, we’re gonna head out now. You two should both get some sleep.” Taylor bent down to kiss Hayley on the forehead, which was amusing to Oli because Hayley was curled up beneath a throw blanket and hadn’t said a word to him yet. Usually, she was up on her feet before he’d opened the door fully, jumping into his arms excitedly. He knew she was tired, but something else seemed off about the whole situation.

Once Taylor and Jeremy left, Oli sat on the couch and began to rub her back in small circles when he noticed her blinking quickly to prevent herself from surrendering to the throes of sleep. “Love, I know you’re tired and I want you to get some rest since you really need to, ok?” He was just about ready to pick her up and carry her to their bed when Hayley suddenly reached over, grabbing at the front of his shirt.

“I’m not going to sleep. I need you to. . .to hold me,” she whispered, making a move to lower his lips to hers.

Oli nearly gave in until he noticed the smell of alcohol on her breath and the hazy look in her eyes. “Hayls, did you have a little too much to drink earlier?” He was a bit taken aback because of the role reversal. Usually he was the drunken mess and Hayley had to take care of him. It was a rare occasion for her to be even close to tipsy and he had to admit that it was actually adorable. Plus, she wasn’t an angry drunk, which was a godsend.

“You want to cuddle?” Oli couldn’t stop himself from smirking. She didn’t ask for physical intimacy either; it just happened as an unspoken agreement between them.

“Mhmmmm. I’m not exactly sure,” Hayley replied as she wrapped her arms around his neck and toyed with the ends of his hair that curled over the collar of his flannel. “I just want you near me, you know?”

Oli nodded, holding her legs as they wrapped around his torso. She was planting kisses on his collarbone and neck as he made his way to the bedroom. “Well, seems like someone’s awake now, eh?”

Hayley looked up at him as he lowered her onto the sheets. “Do you not wanna do this? Am I being a stage five spider monkey clinger girlfriend or something?” She ran a hand through her mussed hair and bit her lip.

“That’s not what I said, love,” Oli responded as she moved under the covers and shot a pointed look at the empty space beside her. He made himself comfortable beside her, folding his arms over his chest. Hayley had to be sleepy again soon; then he’d be able to unpack the few things he’d brought over and possibly brew more tea.

“One more thing, please.” Hayley rolled onto her side to face him. “Could you just take it all off?”

“How is that fair though if you’re still in your dress?”

“It’s coming off then, fine, fine just gimme a sec.”

Hayley shimmied out of her dress and immediately hopped back into bed, shivering visibly as she poked Oli’s face with her finger. “There, now strip.”

Oli slipped off his flannel, tossing it into the laundry bin, which was followed by his t-shirt and jeans. “There. Now, I think it’s time for you to sleep. We’ll both sleep. Then we can go to anywhere you’d like for breakfast in the morning. How does that sound?”

Hayley traced the tattoos on Oli’s chest and sighed. “Yeah, we can do that. But you still haven’t said why you don’t want to do anything with me. I’m not even drunk, I swear. Just a little lightheaded and really happy to see you.”

“‘Really happy’ is a bit of an understatement, since you almost ripped my shirt off my body and I’m sure that you left about five love bites on my neck.” Oli chuckled, finally giving in to her request for them to cuddle.

“It’s not my fault that we haven’t seen each other since the start of tour. I thought you would’ve wanted me all over you.” Hayley felt tears prick at the corners of her eyes, and she swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat as her voice cracked slightly. “Is there something wrong with me?”

“There’s absolutely nothing wrong with you,” Oli said, swiping away a stray tear with his thumb. “You’re just such a cute drunk and that makes me want to put you right to bed but not in the way you expect. . .or want. But I promise that when you’re sobered up, you’re going to be the one pushing me away. Because you’ll be seeing a lot of our bedroom, bathroom, and kitchen and not much else while I’m here.”

“A promise, huh?” Hayley grinned, imagining what they would do during the time they had together.

“A guarantee, or your money back if you’re not fully satisfied,” Oli fired back, kissing her softly.

Soon afterward, Hayley had drifted off to sleep and Oli was almost about to do the same. He was glad that he had ended up with the girl in his arms; she had made his life so much better. It seemed as if before he was seeing the world in the dullest colours imaginable and now everything was saturated, bright and bold. Oli was willing to bet that Hayley would wake up feeling awful but he’d had his fair share of crazy nights and shitty hangover mornings to know what to do. He’d take care of her and enjoy every minute of it. Spending time with Hayley felt as if none had passed at all, in his opinion.

It was as if everything else was insignificant outside of their own little world, and if he could, he wouldn’t leave her side. But they both had obligations to fulfill in their careers and that was something that couldn’t be ignored. However, he tried not to think too much about them parting ways for what felt like the billionth time and instead focused on how soft her skin was, and the fact that their bodies fit together like puzzle pieces as they spooned. He was going to focus on the positive and banish the negative thoughts as they popped into his mind. After all, he couldn’t be pessimistic when he was with a girl he loved more than he could explain in words. Because where words failed him, he was able to show that love with the things he did. He guessed that such a mindset made him a believer in “actions speak louder than words.” Oftentimes, they truly did.