Better for You

"Come on Izzy!" Abby said while shaking my arm repeatedly, "You're not skipping class, not today."

"But I don't feel well!" I protested, rubbing my hand on my stomach and faking my best 'ill' face.

"Izzy; you're not even close to convincing me; at least put some effort into it. Now get up and shower because you smell." Abby instructed and I rolled my eyes.

"But I'm tired!" I groaned.

"Well then you shouldn't have stayed up until 4 am watching movies last night should you?" Abby told me which shut me up as I lowered my eyes.

"Besides, Niall's coming over today and so unless you want to be in the same room as us while we're having sex then I'd suggest you go to class."

"Erh, you're the devil I swear." I muttered under my breath as I lazily rubbed my eyes and got out of bed, immediately missing the warmth of my sheets.

I grabbed a white, floral crop top with a black skirt, some socks, my black booties and my toiletries and towel before heading out of the dorm and towards the showers.

I had spent as long as I could in the shower, but when my hands started to prune I knew that I should probably get out soon. I sighed, running a hand through my hair to ensure that all of the conditioner was out before eventually getting out.

"How was your shower?" Abby asked brightly as I made my way towards my bed. I was still so tired that I didn't reward Abby with an answer, but instead just glared at her. It was 8 o'clock. 8. I had been running on little sleep lately and now all of the sleepless nights were starting to catch up with me, and I had no answer for them.

I had spoken with Mike and he had been talking about how his depression was improving and that going to therapy was helping, he had even started going to a recovery group where he had made a few friends.

I was happy for him, and glad that he was getting better however the guilt that he was in this place because of me hadn't left and had been haunting me along with the recurring memory of a green eyed monster by the name of Harry.

"Well for what it's worth, I like your outfit." Abby told me and I furrowed my brows slightly as I looked at her. It was no secret that my fashion taste had changed. I didn't wear the same clothes as before; they felt too much like my old naive self. The events that had happened at the party two weeks ago had changed me.

I had learnt my lesson about not trusting Harry Styles, and to stop trying to help and see the good in people. I had learnt that second chances should not be granted. And I had promised myself that I would begin getting over Harry Styles.

"Thanks." I answered smiling slightly as I began putting on some dark eye make-up. Abby had noticed my change in personality, in fact most of our group had but no-one mentioned it. "I'm going to go now, see you in a bit." I told Abby, as I picked my phone up from the charger, and then grabbed my bag.

I quickly sent Andy a text saying that I'd meet her in Starbucks in around 5 minutes before getting in my car and driving towards Starbucks, having to constantly remind myself to drive on the right side of the road.

I arrived at Starbucks within a couple of minutes and walked inside to find Andy slumped in a seat at the back corner of the room. I walked over to her and slid into the chair opposite her, resting my hands on top of the table. "What's up with you?" I asked and looked up at me with eyes that showed too many emotions to count.

"You don't know?" She asked which caused my eyebrows to furrow. What don't I know?

"No...?" I replied, as she looked around the room, looking at all the different people. "Andy?"

"Lucy spread the word about my virginity to everyone; she voice recorded the entire fight." Andy told me as I rolled my eyes over Lucy and ran a hand through my hair.

"What is that girl's problem?" I muttered quietly to myself, mainly.

"I don't know what her problem is, but I swear that if hear another joke about my virginity then I'll lose it." Andy told me with her hands fisting in anger.

"Look; if someone does then I'll make sure to put them in their place, trust me; I am not in the mood for bullshit this morning." I told Andy and she nodded, the tension visibly leaving her body as he muscles relaxed and her hands flattened. "Ok, well I'm going to need a coffee, you want one?"

The coffee hadn't exactly made me start laughing rainbows, but I wasn't feeling quite so tired which had improved my mood, a little. I sighed as I opened the door to the classroom and saw Harry and his jerk friends hanging around his chair, which also happened to be right next to my chair. Great; note the sarcasm.

I inhaled a deep breath before strutting to my chair and turned it around so that my back was facing Harry, and I was giving my full attention to Andy.

In the middle of a conversation about the guy that Andy had met at a party the other night, one of Harry's jerk friends and his group came over to us with Harry as well.

"What do you want?" I asked bluntly, really not in the mood for talking to this group.

"So Andy," The guy with brown hair, brown eyes and a visible, large hickey on his neck began, completely ignoring my presence. "I noticed that you're wearing a black dress that finishes above the knee; I thought that virgin Mary's wore white."

"Look, I don't know who you are and nor do I really give a shit but please could you leave us alone? You carry this whole aroma that sticks of pathetic and it's really quite repulsive." I told the hickey boy and a cocky smirk played on his lips and he took a step towards me.

"I didn't realize that virgins stood up for each other." He quipped and I narrowed my eyes, taking a step towards him. The rest of his group were saying words like 'ooh' and 'burn' apart from Harry who just looked bored.

"You can try to embarrass me about that but I should warn you that it doesn't work, you see I'm a proud virgin. Wanna know why? It's because I'm not stupid enough to sleep with an ass like you. So please, run back to your mates and talk about how weird I am about being a proud virgin. Say whatever you want. But you start talking shit about my friend and I give you my word that I'll make you regret it, you got that lover boy?" I threatened, lightly slapping hickey boy's hickey before taking a step back and sitting down.

Hickey boy and his mates took the hint and walked to the back of the class room but Harry lingered around looking like he wanted to say something, but given the look on my face he must have thought better.

A few moments later Mr Richards walked through the doors, causing silence to fill the air. "Good morning class, you all know what you need to be doing this lesson, so please begin." He instructed as the class nodded and the sound of pens scribbling on paper filled the room.

I had chosen to write a book about love seeing as it was the one thing that everyone wants and searches for, the one thing that eludes me. Love is such a big subject. No-one can describe it in words; the best way to know what love is, is to feel it. And I haven't felt true love.

I've fallen in-love before, hell I'm in-love at the moment, but true love is something different. In my mind true love is a mutual feeling shared between two people who love each other in the most honest and admirable way.

True love is something that I'd like to believe that everyone wants, deep down at least. I believe that deep down even people as broken as Harry want true love, in face it's probably what they crave the most. A relationship with honesty, where they can feel important. Everyone wants that; it's just that some people don't want to believe that they want that.

So, my book is about a relationship between two people who are polar opposites. One's an optimist, the other's a pessimist. One likes to plan the future, the other doesn't care about it. One is an innocent college girl with good grades, the other's the classic punk boy with too many tattoos.

I did happen to notice the similarities between Harry and I and the characters in my book, but there is a difference. The boy in my book is fighting for love, he wants to feel alive. He's tired of the hollow life that he lives, he wants something more valuable, something with love; see the difference?

Harry won't leave his life for anything, he doesn't want more in life, he just wants to get drunk or high and do whatever the hell he wants which is exactly why we wouldn't work... Well, that and the other ten thousand reasons as to why we won't work.

After I'd finished around 3 pages of my book, digging deep into the boy character, Will's, tiresome life of drugs and alcohol, the lesson finished. I filed my papers into my folder before getting up, swinging my bag on my shoulder.

"Izzy, can we talk?" The familiar voice asked as I looked up to find Harry staring at me with hopeful eyes.

"I have nothing to say to you Harry."

"Then you can just listen." He replied, his voice firm. I looked around the room wondering if Andy was still here. "Andy left." Harry told me, answering my thoughts.

"Fine, you wanna talk then fine." I told him as I began walking out of the classroom. When I didn't here footsteps behind me I sighed and turned around. "Come on then." That was all I needed to say as Harry curtly nodded and began walking behind me as I led us away from the campus.

"Where are we going?" Harry asked as I got in my car, and he got into the passenger seat.

"Nowhere important." I told him as I turned out of the car park and began driving to a familiar place for me. Maybe I should hear what Harry has to say, and maybe I shouldn't; but I am. He owes me some answers and I owe it to myself to hear them.

After a few minutes of listening to Beyonce we arrived at the destination. I got out of the car, and walked to the familiar tree that I had now cried under twice.

"You want to talk, so talk." I told Harry as he eyed me warily as if he wanted to say something, but paused and sat down under the tree as I did as well. The autumn was well under way as the leaves on the tree were starting to golden, with a few scattered on the ground already.

"Well, I don't know where to begin." Harry began as he ran a hand through his lock of curls that seemed to fall perfectly into place. "I don't do relationships Izzy, you know that."

"Great start." I stated sarcastically and Harry sighed shaking his head.

"Let me finish. I had a girlfriend once and let's just say that the relationship didn't end well at all. After that I always told myself that I wouldn't fall in-love ever again because I couldn't go through that again. And I was doing fine until you came into my life. You made me rethink everything. You made me question the life that I had promised myself that I would live. Izzy, you made me feel things that I didn't want to feel and I didn't know how to react to that. I refused to allow myself the feeling of love which is why I did what I did I guess." Harry told me and I just shook my head and sighed.

Lying is all he ever does, and I certainly wasn't buying this one. He doesn't care about me, not now, not ever. After all he did he can't just tell me that his motive was his love for me. No. He made me feel so stupid for ever trusting in him. He betrayed me and he can't expect me to just get over it so simply.

"We should go; I don't have any more time for your games Harry." I told him, standing up.

"This isn't a game, Izzy." Harry replied with his voice firm enough to almost fool me that he was being honest. Almost.

"Whatever."

"Why did you bring me here Izzy?" What? Why would he ask that?

"What do you mean?"

"Why would you bring me here, to the same place that we had our argument?" He pushed and I shrugged my shoulders as Harry stood up.

"Because it's the only place that I know around here that has peace and quiet." I replied, staring at him in the eyes as he took steps towards me.

"Really? Because I think that you brought me here because it's the place where you've found peace at. It's where you run to when you're hurt." Harry told me and I looked at him warily, swallowing. How did he know about that? "You can keep on pretending that you don't care Izzy, but I know better than to buy that act. You do care Izzy. I saw you crying the night that Mike kissed Lucy."

"But, But. No. I care about certain things but not you Harry. I-I don't care about you. All you do is hurt me. You act like you care and then you stab me in the back, now why would I care about you when all you ever do is that?" I lied, and to say that it was extremely unconvincing would be an understatement.

"If you don't care then why did you cry the night that I kissed Lucy? Because you were hurt. And you can't be hurt unless you don't care so admit it. You care about me." Harry told me, and I was silenced. He knew that I cared about him, and saying it out loud would confirm that, and I don't trust him not to throw that back at me, not yet. "Come on, say it."

"Why? All you've done is hurt me. Who's to say that you're not going to use it to hurt me?" I asked with a vulnerable voice.

"Because I love you." Harry replied with a steady voice that knocked all of my breath out of my lungs.

"Wh-wh-What? You, you what?" I choked out. No way does he love me. No freaking way.

"I love you Izzy. I-I love you. And I know that you love me too." Harry told me, taking another step forward so that he was directly in front of me, and he then entwined our fingers together. I stared at him, dumb struck as his eyes stared right back into mine. "Please, I need to hear you say it." The way that Harry said that made him look so vulnerable, so exposed that my heart called out for him.

"I, I love you Harry." I told him and the biggest smile spread across his face, showing off his dimples. "But you've hurt me so much."

"I know I have, I know, and I'm sorry. So sorry. I promise, I'll never hurt you like that again Izzy, I love you." Harry told me and a smile worked its way onto my face. This is exactly what I'd been wishing for, it felt surreal; like it was all a dream.

"I love you too." I told him, leaning forwards and sealing my lips onto his for what was the most amazingly passionate kiss that I had ever felt. I could feel the love between us completely consuming and washing over me with what must have been the most powerful kiss that I had ever shared in my entire life.

"I love you, Izzy." Harry whispered breathless as we parted. I will never get tired of hearing those words. Never.