Status: Thank you so much for reading! Comments would be greatly appreciated!
As Delicate as a Flower
The Explanation
Well, lets take a trip back in time and maybe this will all make more sense.
*Last year*
"Sam, could you please, please, for me, just talk to your therapist?" Rian sat across from me, her hands holding mine. I refused to look my best friend in the eyes, as well as speak. I hadn't spoken to anyone in almost a month. I was still going to Uni and I was doing quite well actually, but I wouldn't talk. I couldn't.
"Sammy, Rian is right. You need to talk to her. If you don't I'm bringing you home." My mother's voice came from a computer screen where Rian had Skyped my mother.
"I'll be here for you the entire way." Rian's voice was soft and I knew she meant it...but I got up and left my bedroom. I could hear Rian and Mother talking in hushed tones.
I reached up into the cabinet and brought down a plastic bin, where we kept our medications. I grabbed whatever I could find and downed it with a bottle of vodka.
By the time Rian had found me, I had taken probably 300 tablets. She screamed, called 911, and held me down by sitting on me. We both were sobbing and the ambulance took me to the closet ER, where they pumped my stomach and gave me an IV and tried to get me to speak.
"She doesn't talk." Rian said. "She isn't deaf or anything, she just stopped talking about a month ago." Rian had stopped sobbing and her voice was now hard with determination.
"Did anything happen?"
"I don't know. She was depressed even when I first met her a few years back. Her younger brother is very sick." The doctor brought Rian out of the room, and when she came back she was nodding again with silent tears.
"They're going to help you here Sam. Take care of yourself babygirl, and I'll be back soon to visit." she kissed my forehead and left the room without looking back.
"Miss Arbour, we are going to admit you to our adult psychiatric unit until you are more calm." the doctor smiled at me and all I wanted to do was cry some more and not exist. I started shaking and sobbing and then my bed started moving and they made me get into a wheelchair, which they used to bring me up to the unit.
3 days after the initial admittance, Rian visited me and told me that the professors at Uni were going to help me stay on track and that my mother was sending money for god knows what reason.
7 days after the initial admittance they made me sit with a therapist in a room for hours. She questioned me and played games and let me watch the tele, and then questioned me some more.
"Sam, were trying to help you darlin'. Did anyone hurt you? Or touch you?"
I was brought back to the night IT happened. When everything changed. And suddenly, I was sobbing and telling Cindy the Therapist how my parents were never there for me and that my brother got all the attention and that they said I had Borderline Personality Disorder and gave me medication for it and that I had gone to a party after skipping the meds for a few days and that I was a little tipsy and how Dante...
How he...
He...
did that stuff...
when I told him to stop...
and he kept going.
And it hurt.
And then he did more.
And then he started hitting me.
And doing more to me...
I was sobbing harder than I ever had in my entire life at this point, but I felt safe. I was in a place where I could get help and I had Rian who loved me more than anyone I knew and I felt like I could breath for the first time since he did it all.
Dante had raped me.
************************************************************************
1 month before chapter 1
Rian and I had been having a fight, because I wanted off of the meds and she thought they were still good.
Ring ring
My phone rang.
"Hello?"
"Hi, is this Samantha Arbour?"
"Yes, This is she."
"Hi, this is Sandra Oaklans from the Institute of London Hospital? I just wanted to inform you that you results from the blood and urine work are pointing to an issue in your kidneys. If you have any questions you should contact your provider. Have a nice night." she hung up the phone and I turned to Rian to tell her the news.
An emergency appointment was made with Lisa the Psychiatrist and when we got there, she had a frown on her face.
"Come, sit. We have a lot to discuss."
In the end, to save you the time of reading the entire script of my 3 hour doctor appointment, we had decided that I would be taken off of the medication I was on, as well as removed of my BPD diagnosis, and be scheduled for Electric Shock Therapy in a month, which is how long the medication would take to be removed from my body.
Which is how we get to a Sam(me) in chapter 1 that is losing it, because she is dealing with severe withdrawal from these medications.
And now, to continue from the leave off...
*Last year*
"Sam, could you please, please, for me, just talk to your therapist?" Rian sat across from me, her hands holding mine. I refused to look my best friend in the eyes, as well as speak. I hadn't spoken to anyone in almost a month. I was still going to Uni and I was doing quite well actually, but I wouldn't talk. I couldn't.
"Sammy, Rian is right. You need to talk to her. If you don't I'm bringing you home." My mother's voice came from a computer screen where Rian had Skyped my mother.
"I'll be here for you the entire way." Rian's voice was soft and I knew she meant it...but I got up and left my bedroom. I could hear Rian and Mother talking in hushed tones.
I reached up into the cabinet and brought down a plastic bin, where we kept our medications. I grabbed whatever I could find and downed it with a bottle of vodka.
By the time Rian had found me, I had taken probably 300 tablets. She screamed, called 911, and held me down by sitting on me. We both were sobbing and the ambulance took me to the closet ER, where they pumped my stomach and gave me an IV and tried to get me to speak.
"She doesn't talk." Rian said. "She isn't deaf or anything, she just stopped talking about a month ago." Rian had stopped sobbing and her voice was now hard with determination.
"Did anything happen?"
"I don't know. She was depressed even when I first met her a few years back. Her younger brother is very sick." The doctor brought Rian out of the room, and when she came back she was nodding again with silent tears.
"They're going to help you here Sam. Take care of yourself babygirl, and I'll be back soon to visit." she kissed my forehead and left the room without looking back.
"Miss Arbour, we are going to admit you to our adult psychiatric unit until you are more calm." the doctor smiled at me and all I wanted to do was cry some more and not exist. I started shaking and sobbing and then my bed started moving and they made me get into a wheelchair, which they used to bring me up to the unit.
3 days after the initial admittance, Rian visited me and told me that the professors at Uni were going to help me stay on track and that my mother was sending money for god knows what reason.
7 days after the initial admittance they made me sit with a therapist in a room for hours. She questioned me and played games and let me watch the tele, and then questioned me some more.
"Sam, were trying to help you darlin'. Did anyone hurt you? Or touch you?"
I was brought back to the night IT happened. When everything changed. And suddenly, I was sobbing and telling Cindy the Therapist how my parents were never there for me and that my brother got all the attention and that they said I had Borderline Personality Disorder and gave me medication for it and that I had gone to a party after skipping the meds for a few days and that I was a little tipsy and how Dante...
How he...
He...
did that stuff...
when I told him to stop...
and he kept going.
And it hurt.
And then he did more.
And then he started hitting me.
And doing more to me...
I was sobbing harder than I ever had in my entire life at this point, but I felt safe. I was in a place where I could get help and I had Rian who loved me more than anyone I knew and I felt like I could breath for the first time since he did it all.
Dante had raped me.
************************************************************************
1 month before chapter 1
Rian and I had been having a fight, because I wanted off of the meds and she thought they were still good.
Ring ring
My phone rang.
"Hello?"
"Hi, is this Samantha Arbour?"
"Yes, This is she."
"Hi, this is Sandra Oaklans from the Institute of London Hospital? I just wanted to inform you that you results from the blood and urine work are pointing to an issue in your kidneys. If you have any questions you should contact your provider. Have a nice night." she hung up the phone and I turned to Rian to tell her the news.
An emergency appointment was made with Lisa the Psychiatrist and when we got there, she had a frown on her face.
"Come, sit. We have a lot to discuss."
In the end, to save you the time of reading the entire script of my 3 hour doctor appointment, we had decided that I would be taken off of the medication I was on, as well as removed of my BPD diagnosis, and be scheduled for Electric Shock Therapy in a month, which is how long the medication would take to be removed from my body.
Which is how we get to a Sam(me) in chapter 1 that is losing it, because she is dealing with severe withdrawal from these medications.
And now, to continue from the leave off...