Gristrift

The door led to a long, pink hallway with tacky stickers all over the wall. Condelle took the lead. Kurloz and Horuss stayed in back. They went down a spiral staircase and into a large room where dozens of teenagers lounged. Some sat watching TV or playing video games. Others enjoyed a game of basketball. Most sat around talking. Several doors led off of the room.

"You is gonna room with Dave, Rose, and Jade. Lights out in half an hour, so you gotta find them by then. I got shit to do. Your shit starts tomorrow, no excuses to laze around while the other kids face the rift," said Condelle. She sauntered off into one of the doors. It sounded like the boys and girls roomed together unless "Rose" and "Jade" happened to be male. He supposed Condelle trusted that a bunch of thirteen-year-olds wouldn't be having giant orgies. She probably separated the older people. Or maybe she just didn't care.

A kid about as old as John stepped up to him. Purple dye streaked his hair and he wore a cape like a supervillain. "Hello, newcomer," he said in a haughty Greek accent. "Come with me. I'll show you the right people to hang around with. You don't want to turn out like your older clone. Wait," he looked over John, making him acutely aware of the blanket and jacket he wore. "You're not wearing that getup because you're poor, are you? There has to be another reason."

"I don't think so. I mean, I live - er, lived - in the suburbs and Dad was talking about me maybe getting into a private high school, so probably not."

"Good. I have zero tolerance for fucking freeloaders. All they do is take away from those who actually have the gumption to go out and make a lot of money. You and I aren't like that, though. Even though you look like a plane crash in those clothes, you at least don't steal charity from people who earn their keep," said the boy.

John didn't know how to respond to that. "You said something about me having an older clone. What is up with that? And why is my older clone bad? Is he evil and will I have to make the choice to stay good despite having evil tendencies?" asked John. "Whoa. He'll be like 'John, you have to come be evil with me. It is in your blood,' and then I will have to be all 'though you are my clone, that is actually a bunch of baloney and I will fight for the good side.'"

"Nah, he's just kinda a tool," said the boy in a bored voice. "He's bi but he won't go out with my older clone, who is the greatest and most powerful person here. I mean, straight kids I can get but if you're gay or bi, you at least hafta try Cronus out. See if you like him. He deserves a good relationship."

"I am not a homosexual, so there is no need to hook me up," said John. "Does everybody have an older clone?"

"Yeah, even the older clones have older clones, but nobody really sees those guys much except for Condelle. One of the older-older clones actually died because he was too stupid to stay away from Jack Noir. I would never make a mistake like that and if I did, Cronus would kill Jack Noir because his power is poisoning and Jack Noir has to eat eventually. My name is Eridan. What's yours?" He reached out a hand.

"Hello, Eridan! I am John," he said, shaking Eridan's hand. "So what is your power? Mine is breaking into buildings."

"My power is like being a drug dealer. I can cause emotional highs and lows and make people dependent on me. You should really thank me for not using it on you and everybody else, because I could. It's only because I'm a really great person that I don't."

John nodded even though something didn't seem quite right about that.

"Here, let me show you around. We're going to be great friends, I can already tell. I'll show you the shitbags to stay away from and the correct people to be around if you want to stay on top around here."

"O... kay," said John, a bit nervous about Eridan's way of thinking

He led John across the room to where a group of John-age girls (younger clones?) were doing each others' hair. They sat on a small step that stretched the entire way around the rectangular room. John heard giggles before he got close.

"That girl with the long black hair is the most beautiful girl in the entire world. I love her with the passion of ten thousand volcanoes. I wish to be the Napoleon to her Marie Louise. Did you know Napoleon had two wives through his lifetime? His later wife was Marie Louise, who was a real beauty but obviously not as big a beauty as Feferi. Ignore the others. Nepeta is a moron and Kanaya's a stuck up bitch." When he talked about Feferi and Napoleon, his eyes lit up the way Dad's did when he talked about cake.

"Hi, fishface! Who's the new catch?" asked Feferi as they walked closer.

"Feferi! Hello. This is my new friend John. If you would like, I could meet you without him around for, well, whatever reason you so choose," said Eridan.

"I'll prawn-sider it, but right now, I'm a bit busy."

"Oh. Holy shit. You would? Really? I mean, of course you would, that's why I asked, but -"

"I'm busy," said Feferi.

They moved towards the basketball game. Eridan seemed to float. Every few seconds, an enormous smile would creep onto his face, only to be replaced with his default scowl. "Feferi said she'd consider it. She said so. With her very lips."

"Hey, that's Horuss! I know him," said John, pointing to the basketball game.

"Ugh. Stay away from him. He's just as fucking creepy as his younger clone. What a weirdo. Don't you dare tell Equius I said that, though. You may be dumb, but you're not dumb enough to betray a great buddy like me. Right now the person you should be looking at is Cronus. He's right there, with the ball currently in his hands. I wouldn't want to interrupt his incredible basketball skills."

"Pffft, I bet he actually has super lame basketball skills. Look, his face has a bunch of weird grey scales all over it and he's dragging his left leg. What's with that?"

"Don't insult my older clone! He didn't do anything to you! All I try to do around here is fit in and get along and here I have to deal with people saying mean things to my older clone! Cronus can't help his chitin. We all get it, maybe because we're powerful and maybe because we go into the gristrift so much, I don't know, it's no reason to be mean. Cronus is great at basketball. And unlike Jane and Damara and Porrim and the rest, he'll never stoop to getting robotic enhancements from Horuss or Equius." Eridan's upper lip shook. It didn't take much to get past his haughty demeanor, which made it even worse when that haughty demeanor came back. "Maybe I was wrong about you, John. Maybe you're a tool like your older clone. All he does is sit around watching dumb movies all day. Is that you, John? Do you like Weekend at Bernies? If so, we are done hanging out right now."

"You know, that might actually be a good idea. Can you direct me to Dave or Rose or Jade? I have to room with them. I wonder what the rooms look like. Probably awesome because we are all superheroes. Maybe we even get batcaves! Only they would be called Johncaves and Rosecaves instead, I guess."

"Fuck you, John. I tried to reach out to you. I tried to be your friend. Nobody can say I haven't tried. And what did you do to me? You threw my kind and generous offers of friendship straight into the dumpster like a battered couch. I hope you get lost in the gristrift and never find your way out. I hope you never have any grist to eat. I hope one of the really dangerous people gets mad at you, not somebody who graciously holds back his powers like me." His eyes got watery as he talked. When he finished, he stormed off, his fists clenched.

What a strange and unpleasant boy, thought John. He tapped the nearest person on the shoulder, a short younger clone with messy black hair. "Can you show me where Dave or Rose or Jade is? Also if you know, what is the problem with Eridan?"

"Eridan is the whole reason we have a fly problem. He's that big of a piece of shit. It's like the entire population of New York had to share a single fucking toilet, and Eridan fucking Ampora was the result." He spoke loudly and John hoped Eridan couldn't hear. "You must be John. I hate you already, possibly because of your stupid glasses and possibly because of your hideous and moronic smile. Dave is over there. He's one of the only people here worth talking to, so don't wreck him. Now get out of my face."

Was everybody here a colossal jerk? He walked across a carpeted area to sit by Dave, who sat cross-legged on the step and listened to an iPod. He seemed to be really into it, hitting imaginary instruments and tapping his feet. Even though the overhead lights shone brightly, he wore pointy sunglasses.

John sat down next to Dave and stayed silent, not wanting to interrupt his music.

"Lights out in five minutes," came Condelle's voice from a door on the other side of the room. Dave looked up at John and gave him a small, expressionless nod before getting up and walking towards one of the doors. John followed. As they walked, they were joined by a dark-skinned girl with long, black hair and a pale, heavyset girl carrying a bundle of thick books. Jade and Rose, thought John.

The four of them headed into a single room with a partition in the middle to separate boys and girls. Dave had decorated their side with posters of robots and street art. Next to his bed sat a set of turntables and a synthesizer. A laptop and a couple of jars of dead bugs lay on the floor. Dave collapsed into his bed and fell asleep.

John sat in the his own untouched bed and wondered if everybody acted so rudely towards him because of his jacket-and-towel getup. He would have to find a way to get new clothes in the morning. He nuzzled into his pillow, scrunched the blankets around him, and fell asleep.