These Four Walls

March 24, 2014

“This distance thing is really going to suck, isn’t it?”

It was a question that had been hanging over our heads for weeks now, each of us just pushing it to the side until neither of us could fight it anymore. With his arm draped around me, Harry was rubbing delicate circles on my shoulder as I nuzzled closer to him.

He kissed my temple, lingering there for a moment. “Yup.”

I let out a breathy laugh, “Thought you’d say something like that.”

It’s not like I wanted to leave, I just knew I had to. I always knew If I got the opportunity to work close to home I would take it. My family lived there, and with my grandma getting sicker and sicker, the new job seemed to fit right in. I had a lot of friends that I missed every single day while living in London. I loved it here, I really did, but the more days I spent away from home, the more I realized I loved it there more. But Minnesota didn’t have Harry. He really was the sunshine on my rainy day.

“You better not forget about me.” I joked, poking him in the side. I shouldn’t have bothered though because he saw right through me. He always did.

He shook his head, furrowing his eyebrows together. “Never.”

I was going to miss rolling over to him on the other side of the bed, the early morning Starbucks runs because both of us were too lazy to make it ourselves, the long afternoon walks in the park because we could never think of anything better to do, and the way we could just stop by at each other’s places without warning because we owned the spare key.

I was going to miss the sound of his slow and deep voice in my ear, his comforting grasp around my waist when all I needed was a hug or his stronger ones around my back when I truly needed to be protected. The taste of his lips on mine whenever I felt like stealing a kiss, the way our bodies fit together when we dropped down on the bed for a goodnight’s sleep or when neither of us wanted to sleep, but lovingly wrestle in the sheets until the crack of dawn.

I was going to miss Harry, so much it hurt. But an insecure part of me, deep down, was worried that what we had was going to leave the second I did. Famous celebrities didn’t fall in love with girls from Minnesota, after the dogs she had been hired to walk on that cloudy day plowed him over on the street, somehow sniffing out the greasy Big Mac he had been eating. That’s what I thought, but that’s what happened anyway.

Harry kicked his feet onto the coffee table I had yet to sell, crossing one ankle over the other. If I wasn’t so upset about leaving in the morning, I would have grimaced at his old and musty socks on top of my furniture. Instead, I made it a point to remember that none of Harry’s socks were hole-free and for some strange reason, I was going to miss that about him, too.

“I’m scared,” I whispered, trailing my eyes down to our interlocked fingers resting on Harry’s stomach.

He let out a long breath of air, laying his head back over the sofa. “Which would you prefer to hear first? What a good, cheeky boyfriend would say or what I’m really thinking?”

I hesitated for a few seconds before answering. “I want the good boyfriend answer.”

“Okay,” he said before clearing his throat and perking up. “We’re going to be just fine, better than fine actually. Distance is just a bump in the road and nothing can come between our love. I won’t let it.”

I held in a laugh, peeking up at him through my lashes. “So corny…”

He nodded, rubbing his hand over mine again.

“Now tell me what you’re really thinking.”

He sighed, all humor from before now gone as he slowly licked his lips after turning to look at me.

“I’m scared, too.”