I Held Your Hand

A/N: All in Brian's POV. :D

I held your hand the first day we met, the day we were paired for a school tour. You were glaring at me as if you hated me or had something against me, and I should have known better, and so should you, but I stroke a punch to your face. We both got detention, forced to sit in a classroom to finish our assignment. It took a while, almost an hour. We didn’t look at each other at all. Later in life, I couldn’t take my eyes off you. Never had I felt so different when you suddenly smiled at me and asked me what kind of music I liked. It turned out that you were only glaring at me because you didn’t know how to get my attention. Of course that was something I found out way later in the future. That day was the day I found my best friend.

I held your hand the day you woke up drunk, being partying hard all night. You puked all over my Nirvana shirt. I didn’t mind. My feelings were so sore; I knew I loved you already. However, we were only teens in our heads. It was a difficult time because we were only 21. Legal, yes. Nevertheless, we shouldn’t be legal at all. On tour. Drunk. Cocaine. You were always the wild spirited lunatic. I loved you. I even loved you when you spat at my face in your drunken behavior. Blinded by cocaine.

I held your hand when you came out from rehab. We made a promise we never broke. We were never to take any cocaine again. I remember you smiling at me, telling me that you were crazy enough to live without it to begin with. Still you had to experience just how crazy you could get with it in your system. Even when you were at your craziest behavior, I loved you.

I held your hand the day I told you that I loved you. I was been tossed out on the street because my parents couldn’t deal with the fact that I was gay. Eventually, they came around. Nevertheless, if you hadn’t been there for me, comforting me, taking me into your slim arms and telling me that other people could go fuck themselves, that’s when I cracked the big secret. You were stunned, never had you ever believed that I returned your feelings. You danced a slow dance with me that night. Two 23-year-old dudes, danced to Scorpions “Send Me An Angel” all night. Then you kissed me. Your thin, curved lip met mine in a careful first kiss. Later we should share different kisses. Make up kisses. Making out kisses. Tear-filled kisses. French kisses. Eskimo kisses. Romantic kisses. Moreover, Passionate kisses. Nevertheless, they were all your kisses. Therefore, I loved them.

I held your hand the time you were scared of commitment. I proposed to you several times before you finally said yes. You see, I could never make you believe that you were good enough for me. You always said that you were too crazy. I always tried to convince you that I loved your craziness, and that you had to be a little crazy to fall in love with someone. The love you had for me was clear. I just wanted to prove to you how much I loved you. After a long time away from each other because I was to support my amplifier project, you were beginning to see how much you really loved me. When I came home that night, you couldn’t get enough of me. You were all over me, just like you used to, but it was like you were determined to let everything have an extra feel to it that night. You told me that you missed me about a hundred times; big blue mesmerizing eyes told me everything I needed to know. Next morning you proposed. Of course, I would agree on being with you forever. It is only fair.

I held your hand when you cried, pulling you into my arms, not wanting to let go. You were mad because the thought of not ever having children. Our adoption chances were small. We were denied it once again. This time I had to stay strong for you, cause I knew you were the one that wanted children the most. And god, I could see them running around you, playing games, then hugging you when you bent down and took them into your arms. I shed a tear because of that, but I hided it form you, not wanting to let you see that I cried for you.

I held your hand when you watched the sunrise. Our new life begins here. Your hand in mine. Acceptance finally came clear. We were never able to have children, but I wasn’t gonna leave you because of that. You said the very same thing to me. We had an amazing honeymoon, in Venice, Italy. The colors in the sky was purple and pink. Purple, my favorite color. Which you also had decorated the room with. Purple petals everywhere. It was so beautiful. I would never forget about the times we made love against silky sheets in our bride suite.

I held your hand when I needed your strength when I got hurt in that accident all those years ago. My legs got the worst part of the damage though. I was lucky. It was done on purpose, though the crooks were arrested. Broken bones heals quickly. Nevertheless, the shock I got form it almost made my mental health ground into dust. I was so glad you were there for me back then. Even when I would wake up in the middle of the night in a fetal position rocking back and forth as I cried for you to save me. That was a difficult time, but we managed. Because you loved me.

I held your hand when you were hanging off the edge. I would not let you fall without me. The edge of the scene where we lived our lives most of the time. Stage dive was something we used to do together. It reminded us about being young and playful. All though you never lost your playful side, I think I’ve started to get a little more boring. You deny this with all your might, but I can’t do anything but laugh at us. You’re the funny one. I’m the one who was funny. Oh god, I’m growing old ain’t I?
Well. I’m growing old with you. We’re 60 years old, its time to buy motorcycles and have a real age crisis. I know that you will be right by my side.

I held your hand as you lay on the hospital bed, the life in your eyes slowly fading, but your perfect smile remains. We’ve lived such a happy life together. I have so much to thank you for, and I want you to know that you doesn’t have to wait too long to see me again. I’ve held your hand for over 50 years now, but I must let go. I promise I will hold onto your heart forever. I don’t want to let go..