My Rock of Love

+Recap+
Nicole was stressing over money, but Kevin helps her through...

Nicole giggled as she got the night off from work. She laughed as Mandy told her about how her date with this guy she likes went. "...He totally missed! He put the fork like into his cheek!", they both laughed. "But listen girly, I hear you don't have a dress for the premier".

Nicole sighed, she didn't want to be reminded. It wasn't that she didn't have the money, but with lack of choices she found either a wanna-be prom dresses, or dresses that your grandmother would think you looked cute in. She even imagined her grandmother pinching her cheeks which made her cringe. "Well, how about when you come to LA we make a full day of it. Shop, hair, the works, you, me, and Miley, she said you two got along on tour!", Mandy suggested. Nicole smiled at the idea and agreed. "And don't bring money for the dress...it's on us. And I swear if I see you reach for your pocket I'll sick Joe on you!", she warned. Nicole laughed about the thought of what Joe may do to her, but shook it off.

"Alright, haha I won't. Listen I gotta go, the girls and I are going to go study. Well more them then me, but still", Nicole said smiling. Mandy was fun to talk to, and made her excited to know that she would be with them at the premier.

"'kay, but call me tomorrow ok? I want to tell you more about the date!", the two laughed good byes. As Nicole went down to the study room she missed her phone ring. Skipping down to the glass room the girls all laughed as she pressed her face against a window. 'Let me in...I need friends!', she said pressed against the glass. One of the girls opened the door to let their friend in.
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Popcorn flew all around the room popping into girls mouths. "YES ten points!", one would shout. Nicole laughed as they finished studying they decided to do a de-stress game. So they played popcorn ball! "Alright, I've gotta work tomorrow all so, I'm off to bed" Nicole made her way to her room.
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'When you look me in the eyes', sang Kevin's phone. Nicole's voice sounded nice with his brothers in the ring tone as he picked up. Before he could say a word. "Kevin...please...",Nicole cried into his ear. "Please...this isn't fair!",she couldn't finish as he tried to hush her.

"Baby what's wrong? Breath ok shhh", he said trying to understand her "what's wrong?", he cooed. All he heard were tears as he sat up in his bunk turning off the TV. 'She's gone...Kevin she's dead', was all he could understand. "Nicole, who? Please baby tell me...", he tried hard knowing that he couldn't do much. 'My mom...she...she had cancer...and...they caught it too late. She...she Kevin', she cried into the phone remembering the whole thing like a movie.
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I used to think
I had the answers to everything,
But now I know
Life doesn't always go my way, yeah...
Feels like I'm caught in the middle
That's when I realize...
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+Flashback+
Nicole walked back to her room with her phone beeping telling her she had missed calls. She figured one of the boys must have called. She saw the number of her uncle so she listened to the voice mail. "Hey, Colie listen...we're at the hospital. Your mom had a bit of a fall, but she's ok. The doctors just want to take a few tests with her. I'll call you when they talk to us ok? love you sweetie cakes", "Uh, Colie, sweetie the doctors found, cancer...they can't fix. They actually don't give her much longer, maybe a month" the next message sent thoughts of her child hood flashing before her in a rush.

"Buggie butt what are you doing?", she heard her mom ask as the little girl stomped on a full box of cigarettes.

A little Nicole with hair to her rear looked up at her mother with tears in her eyes. "I'm stopping the cancer bug from getting you and daddy!", she confessed jumping on the box several more times. Her mom grabbed her arms and pulled her off the pack and sighed.

"These cost money! Lots of money sweetie", she tried to explain to the young girl, but the tears just fell making her mothers heart sink. "Alright baby...mommy will stop", she said wiping her daughters eyes.

Nicole cheered and jumped into her mothers arms. "YAY. And mommy, anytime you think about smoking, just think about me crying...it will be...moter...mote...motergashin", the little girl struggled to say.

"That's motivation baby...and thank you I will", her mother kissed her cheek leaving her to go and play with her toys in her bedroom.

Hearing the message she wanted to run down to the hospital to see her, just as she was grabbing her keys the third message came, it was entered only two minutes before she was back in her room from studying. "Colie, I'm...I'm so sorry..." she could feel her body collapse to the floor as she heard her uncle cry on the other line. "She, she just couldn't handle it....I'm sorry baby girl", her uncle explained that plans would begin tomorrow for her funeral as he gave a few details Nicole heard none of it as she went back again.

"MOMMY MOMMY GUESS WHA...", an excited young Nicole ran in with a drawing of her and her mother. The title over top said "I wanna be... 'like my healthy mommy someday' when I grow up". But it was now on the floor with the pile of ashes as the little girl looked up at her mother smoking her fifth cigarette of the hour. Nicole began crying and ran far across the street to where Chad and his friends were hanging out, but again she gasped seeing her brother and his friends smoking. She ran off back to her school to play on a play set. That night, Nicole sat on a swing until it became dark and she had to head home. On the fridge was the picture, with a hole and smudged ash on it. She ripped it down just to throw it away.

Anger filled the girl as she closed her phone and screamed crying then calling the one number she knew who would try and comfort her.
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I'm not a girl,
Not yet a woman.
All I need is time,
A moment that is mine,
While I'm in between...
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Kevin felt bad because he couldn't do anything. Now he felt like he understood how she felt not too long ago when he called about his grandmother. "I'm so sorry sweetie...", what else could he say? He began to tear up feeling helpless as she cried on the other line. Joe and Nick slowly made their way to the front and heard crying. They sat near Kevin listening as Joe patted Kevin's knee. Luckily they were able to sleep in tomorrow because they'd be just on the road tomorrow. Nicole lay in her bed as she listened to her mix CD. Joe grabbed Paul from the back explaining about Nicole's mom and Kevin put her on speaker. Paul took a deep breath as he talked to Nicole as Kevin held the phone and the boys sat by. 'She's with God now, she is no longer in pain...and Nicole I know she loves you, she knows you love her...' his words slowly calmed her as she held her teddy bear watching the pictures on her computer and picture frame change to pictures of Kevin, the boys, her brother, her mom, her parents before the divorce.
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It was late but Kevin still stayed on with her. "Nicole, what do you want me to do...", he asked. He knew he couldn't do much, but he could at least ask. Nicole didn't say anything for a while. 'Just...do what you love, I'll be with you in a week', she said and sniffled.

They talked for a little bit longer until Nicole said she was tired. "I'm just gonna ask for the rest of the week off...might as well right?", she said. 'Yeah', he replied. 'When is the service?', he asked. She told him she didn't know, she blocked a lot out. "I'll let you know when I find out ok?", she said as she laid down. They said their good byes and sighed as they both lay having a time of it to fall asleep.
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I'm not a girl,
There is no need to protect me.
It's time that I
Learn to face up to this on my own.
I've seen so much more than you know now,
So don't tell me to shut my eyes...
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People kept telling Nicole and her brother how sorry they were. Nicole would just nod watching them pass the urn and cry. Her aunts and uncles on her fathers side came over asking the family to get together. "SMILE!" they said taking pictures. Nicole didn't, 'Smile! My mother is in an URN for goodness sakes right in front of me! And you want me to smile!'. Suddenly Nicole's phone vibrated at her side.

"Kevin, now is not the best time...",she tried to say politely. He looked to his brothers then swallowed deep.

"Nicole,put the phone to a microphone...please?",he requested. Nicole walked to a mic and asked all the people to please sit. 'A...friend of mine I guess has something to say, but can not be here', she said and put the speaker to the mic. 'go ahead Kevin...', she whispered. "When Nicole told me of her mothers death I had to admit I didn't know how to react other then regretting never have really met her, but, there is something I wish to do to contribute to the memory of such a well loved woman..." Nicole closed her eyes to stop tears from falling as the boys played 'Eternity'

Without you I don't know how my life will be
But I believe
It's not goodbye
Cause I will remember you
And I will see you again
When I rise
Cause I know and I believe
I will see you in eternity...
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I'm not a girl,
But if you look at me closely,
You will see it my eyes.
This girl will always find
Her way.
I'm not a girl
(I'm not a girl don't tell me what to believe).
Not Yet a woman
(I'm just trying to find the woman in me, yeah).
All I need is time (All I need),
A moment that is mine (That is mine),
While I'm in between...
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Everyone wept as the song finished. Chad had to hold Nicole and the phone up before she fell from crying. "thank you", Kevin said. Chad brought the phone to Nicole's ear as she knelt on the floor. "I'm always here baby...call me tonight", before she could reply he hung up. Nicole looked up at Chad then looked over to the family. 'If they knew you two were more then friends...I'm sure that they'd approve. I know mom loved to hear about him from you', Chad said caressing his sisters cheek helping her up.
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I'm not a girl,
Not yet a woman...
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