My Rock of Love

+Recap+ Nicole lived with the Jonas family for a semester in LA. Although she and the boys had fun she felt like she was being pushed into a profession she didn't want. Sadly Kevin and Nicole broke up.

-Three months later-

Nicole,
I still love you.

No, she doesn't need to hear that. Maybe...

Nicole, I miss you. You're the song I can't get out of my head.

Yeah, that's right Kev, make yourself look like a nerd by using a cliché like that. This is the fiftieth time I've tried to write her, but every time I've tried it comes off too mushy, too creepy, once I asked again if she'd come on tour with us. Yeah nice of me huh? Ask her again when this tour is one of the reasons we broke up. I closed my laptop again ignoring the want to try and write her again.

"Dude just call her!", Joe mumbled with a mouthful of cereal. Sighing I just lay back against the wall as I drank my coffee.

"It's not that easy bro. I mean it's been three months. If I call her now she'll think I'm too little too late. She probably has a boyfriend by now", I bit the inside of my cheek to keep cool just thinking about it.

Joe just shook his head slurping up his sugary milk before leaving me with my thoughts once again.

I sighed remembering we have an interview on the phone in an hour as I finished my coffee. The same questions as last time I'll bet. "Have you ever experienced a situation like the one in your newest hit 'I Want To Tell You Now'?" It cut deep because it really had happened to me.
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There's a thousand words that I could say,
To make you come home,
Oh seems so long ago you walked away,
Left me alone...
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For a long time I dreamed of that night over and over. "If distance is going to be such a problem......maybe we need to just....take a breath" My heart beats faster, I sweat, and wake up falling out of my bunk. The pain from the fall doesn't hurt half as bad as I do when I wake up from the dream.

I've tried changing it. Sometimes I'd shut my mouth to keep from saying "...that's a year of working around things. This year the tour isn't as free wheeling as it use to..." I regretted those words most of all. I was selfish to have put the tour before what she wanted. Some how my dream always got the best of me and I'd say it anyway.

"Kev, ten minutes son, finish your coffee and meet us in the back ok?", my dad broke my trance tapping my booted foot. I nodded letting him know that I understood before he finally went to the front of the bus to talk to the driver.
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I remember what you said to me,
You were acting so strange,
and maybe I was too blind to see,
That you needed a change...
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-Nine months later-

"I love you Kevin Jonas"I woke up breathing heavily as I looked around my room. We were home for a few months which felt good, except I could still smell her in my pillow, her scent still came from the room she slept in a year ago. 'JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!' I sighed and covered my head to sleep a little longer only to be jumped on by Frankie. "Kevin! WAKE UP! I wanna go to my girlfriends", he shouted sitting on my thighs.

"Frank, what? It's-" I looked at my alarm and for some reason time decided to jump from 2am to 8am. Did I sleep those six hours and not realize? Frankie began to poke me to wake me knowing it worked. "Ok Frank give me five minutes and I'll take you ok?" Without a word, but with a shout of happiness my brother ran from the room to give me time to change.

I changed into some jeans and a tee-shirt before walking downstairs to be met by my other brothers. "Joe dude you have a car what could you possibly want?", I groaned. He had his own vehicle he didn't need to bum rides off me anymore!

"Frank wants us to come with to meet his girlfriend. 'She's BEAUTIFUL' he says", he defended. I laughed shaking my head before pulling my keys off the rack and getting into my jeep with my brothers.
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Was it something I said,
To make you turn away?
To make you walk out and leave me cold...
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Where ever this girl lived it was far. Ok, it's only been a half hour, but dang! Joe and Nick were fighting over what song to play off my i-Pod making me more tired since I haven't had my coffee yet. "We'll listen to the radio if you guys won't stop", I said before changing it to a local station.

"Can you please play that Jonas Brothers song! 'I Want To Tell You Now'! I love it!", shouted a caller on the radio. Before I knew it I heard my voice and Nicole's mixing on the radio. I shut the stereo completely off and sighed. "Frank how much farther?", I asked calmly.

"It's right there!", he said pointing to a house that I JUST PASSED. I punched the breaks and backed up. "Sorry Kevin", my baby brother said with his head down. I swear that kids got A.D.D sometimes, but you gotta love him. As I pulled into the drive my brothers jumped out before I even put it in park. I soon parked the jeep and met my brothers at the door.

"Someone gonna knock or we gonna wait for his girlfriend to get our ESP?", I laughed after waiting a while. Frankie knocked his little fist against the wooden door and waited a bit before a girl who looked about my age answered the door.

She was very pretty, long brown locks, and soft brown eyes. I was in awe. "SISSY IS THAT FRANKIE",shouted a little girl from the kitchen.

She smiled and laughed turning toward the voice. "Yes, and it seems he brought his brothers!"

I didn't even notice Frankie's "girlfriend" I just noticed her sister. I felt a hand smack against my chest bringing me back to earth. "Bro you're drooling!", Nick harshly whispered. I WAS NOT! Ok, a little, but she was beautiful!

"Hi, I'm Amber, Marie's older sister", she said sweetly holding out her hand to me.

"I'm Kevin, Frank's oldest brother" She blushed and smiled as our hands touched, but I just shook it with a smile.

She invited us in so that Frank and Marie could play for a while. "We can chill and talk-",she began before Joe, and Nick ran after Frankie to go play games with Marie. "Or, you and I can just talk?",she laughed. I liked her laugh.
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If I could just find a way,
To make it so that you were right here,
Right now...
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Amber was great! We hit it off to the point that I asked her out for this weekend. "Uh sure, but we'll need to take Marie cause my parents are out of town...",she blushed. I shrugged and suggested a 'double date' as it were at the house which made her happy.

"Alright Friday it is then", I smiled before getting up to get the boys. I had to talk to them about it. "Come on guys, let's leave the girls alone!", I shouted from the stairs. They all walked down and thanked Amber and Marie for the fun time before we all headed back to my jeep.

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"YOU ASKED HER OUT!", Nick shouted from the back. I looked to him from the rear view and nodded. He looked pissed, Joe just looked over at me after looking out the window nodding his head.

"Good for you dude...", he mumbled looking back out the window. What's wrong? Aren't they happy that I'm moving on?

We soon pulled into the drive way to the house. "Well...good luck Kev" I heard Nick mumble before exiting the jeep. Joe sighed following behind Nick to the house. Am I missing something?

Joe and Nick sat in the game room that night and didn't talk to me once, even when I lost to them at Guitar Hero,that's when you really know something is wrong. "Guys what's wrong? Seriously I just lost and neither of you said a word!"

"It's nothing dude we're going to bed ok?", Joe sighed leaving the room. I looked to Nick to see if he'd play again, but he put the guitar down and followed after Joe. When did I become the lone bro?
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I've been sitting here,
Can't get you off my mind,
I've tried my best to be a man and be strong...
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Soon it was Friday and I found myself at Amber's door with Frankie. "Do I look ok Kev?", he asked for the fourth time. He's the next Joe, it took him a long time to get ready, and he was asking me how he looked all the way to the house.

"You look fine Frank don't worry, we're just going to be at the house the whole time", I laughed ruffling his hair. He growled as he tried to fix it. I laughed a bit harder when suddenly the door opened to reveal Nicole?

I shook my head to clear my head to see Amber in a nice lace top and dark jeans. "Hey, pizza will be here in a bit, come on in we're about to put in Shrek!", she giggled. We both walked in following her to the living room. Amber and I chuckled as Frankie ran over and jumped next to Marie kissing her cheek. "Is every Jonas a charmer?",she whispered.

I smiled and turned to her looking into her brown eyes. "Well...We all have our own charms" She smiled as we went to sit on the couch we sat close, since Marie decided to put all her Care Bears and Webkinz on the couch.

"Well why don't we start the movie since Marie usually goes to bed at 9", Amber smiled holding the remote. I nodded figuring that Frankie could lay with Marie for a few hours before he took him home. As the movie started we became more comfortable with each other I found Amber laying her head against my shoulder after she finished her pizza it oddly felt nice.

When the movie was over we looked over and found Frankie and Marie both asleep. I smiled seeing Frankie's arm around Marie before we slowly separated them and walked them to Marie's room to sleep. "They are too cute don't you think?", Amber whispered as we walked down the stairs to watch another movie. I smiled and sat with her on the couch putting my arm around her shoulder.

"Yeah, adorable", I chuckled. She smiled turning on Moulin Rouge. Soon in the dark living room I found myself kissing her. I smiled as I felt her arms wrap around my neck running her fingers through my hair. I couldn't stop kissing her until she slowly pushed back to breath. "Wow, Nicole that was-"

"Nicole?" I looked down to see Amber's angry eyes. Oh crap! She gasped and pushed away. "I think you need to leave Kevin", she said standing up and crossing her arms across her chest.
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I've drove myself insane,
Wishing I could touch your face,
But the truth remains...
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I mentally smacked myself as I carried Frankie upstairs. I couldn't deny that I was dumb in saying Nicole's name instead of Amber's, but in my defense she had the same color hair and eyes as she did. Yeah, that's a weak excuse. I put Frankie to bed quietly before heading to my room to
think.
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You're gone..
You're gone..
Baby you're gone
Girl you're gone, baby girl, you're gone..
You're gone..
You're...
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"So how did the date go?", Nick asked leaning against my door frame. I shrugged as I unbuttoned my shirt and threw it in the hamper.

"It didn't work out, but I think Joe's gonna have to take Frank to that house from now on", I tried to joke. As I undid my belt Joe walked in with Nick to sit on my bed and talk.

I threw my jeans to join my shirt in the hamper before I sat on my computer chair across from my brothers in my boxers. "Why do I need to take the tank to Amber's?", Joe asked leaning against the wall.

Scratching the back of my neck I tried to think of how to explain. "Kev, you didn't", Nick gasped. "You said Nicole's name didn't you!", he accused. I sighed pulling my long flannel green pants on nodding. I didn't see, but somehow I could tell it made my brothers happy. "Sorry bro, better luck next time huh?"

I nodded before I asked them to leave. "I need to sleep"
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I don't wanna make excuses, baby
Won't change the fact that you're gone,
But if there's something that I could do,
Won't you please let me know...
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I woke the next morning and stared at the ceiling. What else could I do. This past year couldn't pass any slower even if I asked it to. I looked over at my alarm and saw it was 6am Joe would be off on his daily jog. I got up and changed into some sweats and tennis shoes before walking out the door catching Joe just hanging up his phone about to go out the door. "Mind if I join you?"

He gave me a strange look as he put his ear buds before shrugging. "Alright". We got out the door and he waited for me to get my i-Pod before we went on a jog. He was jogging ahead of me even as I tried to keep up I couldn't. I continued to jog though because it felt good. The wind in my hair, the solitude. No wonder Nicole and Joe liked it. We soon ran up to the drive way and stretched. "Thank for letting me come with, but I'm gonna stick to coffee to keep me up". He just laughed and walked into the house with me.
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Time is passing so slowly now,
Guess that's my life without you,
And maybe I could change my every day,
But baby I don't want to...
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-Four months-

I sat in the studio strumming on my guitar as Joe and Nick did their vocals for the new song. I listened to them sing and smiled as I worked on the new riff. This CD would be the best, Nick's lyrics were getting more and more entertaining with every album.

I was really proud of my brother, even at 17 he was growing so much. I sighed leaning my head back when I heard a giggle from the door. One of the secretaries was trying to get my number. She had for the past week that we'd been recording. It's not that she wasn't nice, she just was too forward and what can I say, I'm old school!

I leaned my head back closing my eyes when Nick's phone began to vibrate. It had been for a while now. It was getting annoying so I finally went over and almost dropped it when I saw the screen. "Nicole"
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So I'll just hang around,
and find some things to do,
To take my mind off missing you
and I know in my heart,
You can't say that you don't love me too,
Please say you do,

Yeeaah...
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Nick must have seen me because he ran out of the booth taking his phone from my hands. "Dude it's called privacy!" He answered his phone leaving the room. He was talking to her. "Haha yeah!"

How could he do this! I mean not that I mind him being friends with her, but how could he not tell me he'd been talking to her over the past sixteen months! Joe walked over and clapped my shoulder. "Sorry bro, she wasn't ready to talk to you. We...kinda been talking to her for a while"

I turned to my brother with anger causing him to back away. "Why didn't you guys just tell me!" I sighed and sat back on the couch and began to strum on my guitar again to try and calm down, but I found myself playing her favorite song 'Goodnight and Goodbye'. I got even more frustrated and put down my guitar walking outside to get some air. I've gotta talk to her
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I've been sitting here,
Can't get you off my mind,
I've tried my best to be a man and be strong,
I Drove myself insane,
Wishing I could touch your face,
But the truth remains,

You're gone...
You're gone...
You're gone
You're gone...you're gone.. you're....
Gone...
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I dialed her number again, but found myself only hanging up again. 'Just do it you wimp!' finally I clicked send as I sat on my bed. 'HEY!' My lips smiled hearing her cheery voice. 'This is Nicole's cell, sorry I couldn't catch you, but leave a message and number and I'll call you back. God Bless' I sighed rubbing my head. Now what? BEEP "Hi, Nicole...it's Kev I wanted to see how you were...you know my number. bye" As I hung up I growled. That was the worst message to leave, but it was already in voice box history.

I waited a while to see if she'd call back, but she didn't. Maybe she had a class? I shrugged before falling back on my bed and falling asleep.

I woke up hours later to a beep from my phone. I reached for it to find I had a voice mail. I must have slept through the ring which is weird for me. I punched in my code- "Hey Kev, it's me...uh I guess call back I should be up"

I couldn't help, but bite my lip. I looked at the time and saw it was midnight, it'd be 3am there. 'Call me back, I should be up...' I decided against it. It was one thing to call her at 3 when we dated, but as...well...friends, it's rude.
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Ohhh...

Oh what'll I do,
If I can't be with you,
Tell me where will I turn to,
Baby where will I be,
We are apart,
Am I still in your heart?
Baby why don't you see?
That I need you here with me,
Oohhh...
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-Five months later-

I did call her back, it was hard for us just that one time. She told me she was head stage hand which made her happy. She wouldn't tell me where. "I move place to place, so to say I'm one place only to find out I'm else where isn't fair", she told me. I tried to get her to talk about how she was doing personally, but she always found a way around it. She could always do that to me. We talked for a little longer before it got really hard to the point that I almost said I missed her. Thank goodness she needed to get sleep because she was working the next day. "It was good to talk to you Kev," and it was, but we never talked again. It was just too rough.
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"Kevin! You're father needs your attention", mom said getting my attention. Being Chief Birthing Officer she always kept us in line, even me at the age of 23.

"Sorry dad, continue so we're going on tour..."

My dad just nodded and rubbed Joe's shoulder. "Joe was told that their is a great stage crew that A.J. recommended. They will be in Chicago at the Shakespeare Theater, She said they were very co-operative with everyone. And considering last years tour to Illinois to be so crazy I think we should try this group", he said with a large grin.

"Dad can we stay there for a few days! We need to have a break this time dad, I mean last time the only down time we got was for Christmas", Nick begged. I rubbed my head remembering all the tour dates and appearances we had to make it was maddening.

Dad looked at Nick confused, but nodded. "We can make it work" it made us all smile.

"YES!", Joe cheered. "Yeah A.J. says the staff there is great, no egos, it's really cool!"

That was good to hear, last year one of the stage hands was rude when I simply asked her to hold my guitar so I could fix my clothes. "So, to Chicago?", mom asked all of us. We all nodded. "Alright, Chicago Illinois, on June 15th", she said writing it down making it official. Nick and Joe exchanged a wink. Am I missing something?
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Been sitting here,
Can't get you off my mind,
I've tried my best to be a man and be strong,
I drove myself insane,
Wishing I could touch your face,
But the truth remains,

You're gone..
You're gone..
You're gone
You're gone
Gone...
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-One month later-

"YES! We're here CHI-TOWN!", Joe said waking me from my rest. He was more excited to be here then anywhere. Why I don't know. As we parked the bus at the venue I stretched knowing we'd be unloading and doing sound check right away.

Joe was about to run off the bus in a hurry before Dad blocked his path. "Alright, we have to unload carefully, apparently a show was late and the crew has to finish loading their things. We don't need everything getting mixed up and having Joe's tambourine shipped to China again", he said looking over to Joe.

I couldn't help but laugh looking over to Joe. "It was the one time! and besides I got a nice blue one now", he defended. "Can we go now? I want to meet the crew"

I rolled my eyes, knowing Joe he'll probably flirt with one of them to get a date for the next few days. Dad let us go. I watched Joe book it inside the building while Nick and I followed. The stage was great and had plenty of space to do our stunts or touch fans.
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"Jim, haha seriously I need help", said a voice. I turned to help grabbing the other end of the tub. "You're not Jim haha, he definitely wouldn't wear boots", giggled the voice. I was trying to see over the large tub, but it was raised over her head so that we had enough leverage to get it into the truck.

We pushed the tub into the truck, and I laughed dusting my jeans which got a bit dirty carrying the old tub. "Thank you I needed the he-" I turned to see why she stopped, but was soon met with soft brown eyes and now medium length layered brown hair.

"Nicole?"
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But the truth remains
You're...
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