My Rock of Love

+Recap+ Kevin and Nicole broke up, we saw how Kevin dealt with it, but does Nicole do any better?

-The morning after the break up-

I closed my eyes to blink back tears as I looked at Kevin's sleeping face at 6am. I didn't want to wake him as I brushed curls out of his face. Running my fingers down his face down to his lightly hairy chest. I stopped my movements when his nose wrinkled at my touch. Part of me wished he'd open his eyes one more time. But I just stared at his soft freckles as I gently kissed his lips and slid out of bed. I grabbed my things trying not to wake him. I just couldn't handle saying goodbye to him again. If I did, I wouldn't be able to leave. I slowly made my way to Nick's room and smiled seeing him half off his bed. I slowly helped him back on to the bed before waking him. "Nick. Nick I'm leaving and I wanted to say goodbye" He groaned and sat up with a start.

"WHAT You can't leave!",he shouted. I gasped and covered his mouth quickly hoping Kevin didn't wake. "Nicole, don't leave...if not for us do it for Kev",he whispered. He lifted my head to look up at him tears threatening to run down my face. As he looked into my eyes he soon pulled me in for a hug. "I'll miss you, but I'll call you ok?" I nodded running my fingers through that curly hair one more time.

"I'll call you when I get there" I kissed his cheek and left him to sleep a little longer as I walked down the steps. I didn't need to get half way down the steps before Joe ran up to hug me. Why did this have to be so hard. Why couldn't Kevin have been a jerk last night? Why couldn't the family have been mean to me? I held Joe as I held back more tears. He pulled back wiping his tears before caressing my cheek.

"How hard was it for Kev?", he asked. I closed my eyes as I shook my head.

I took a deep breath before I looked up at Joe. "He doesn't know, I don't think I can say goodbye again" Joe nodded before pulling me into another hug before we both headed down stairs. Frankie was awake and jumped into my arms. "Hey Frankie", I whispered. He smiled and hugged me as I caressed his back. "I want you to be good to Kevin ok? No giving him trouble" he and I both giggled knowing he would only do this for so long even as he nodded. Kissing his forehead I looked in front of me to see Denise sipping her coffee.

"I feel like my daughter is leaving me for good", she whispered. I bit my lower lip as I walked over and hugged her. I explained to her that I didn't want Kevin to be woken up. I know she wanted to, but she soon saw why I didn't want him to be. "You're cab will be here shortly...", she said fixing my hair.

The cab came sooner then we thought just as I was hugging Paul Sr. Good bye. "Keep your faith in God Nicole", he whispered before he helped me into the cab. I smiled as I looked up at the window that was once mine, behind it lay Kevin still asleep. 'I'll always love you Kevin'I looked to the Jonas family and watched as they became smaller the farther I got. 'God heal my broken heart'
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I arrived to Meg's and my house around four in the afternoon that day. Dropping my bags I saw before me a mirror, the girl in the mirror wasn't me, she was a stranger who I didn't want to know.
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Mirror mirror lie to me,
Show me what I wanna see,
Mirror mirror lie to me...
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-Three months later-

"...that's a year of working around things. This year the tour isn't as free wheeling as it use to..." His words still echoed in my mind. Those eyes haunt me even as I lay in bed late at night. His hazel eyes haunt me as I dream that day over and over. "Please, don't leave" I've tried so many times to stay, stay in his arms, keep that look of love and comfort on me always. I'd wake up with tears running down my face, my breathing harder then normal. I've found myself wrapped up in the pillow I sprayed with his cologne still smelling of him. I'd cry harder not getting much sleep.

'I know I'm little crazy, I know I'm a lit-' I groaned picking up my phone. "Joseph Adam Jonas! I have a class in two hours, and I've only gotten four hours sleep" he's done this the past few months, he should know my schedule by now.

"Yeah yeah, listen, we're going to be on the radio you should listen to us", he said not even caring about my sleeping habits. That little bug I love him some days...but in the mornings not so much.

"I heard you guys last time though, do I seriously need to hear you answer the same questions?" I have to admit I really would listen in, if only to hear Kevin. It hurt, but it helped for me to just hear the boys when I could.

Joe knows I will so he just laughed. "YES, you do. Nick said you have to too! Besides we know you miss Kev. Nic, just call him. He misses you too you know", he sighed.

I can't I just can't. "Joe, we both know when Kevin's ready, he'll call me. He needs space, and I'm going to give it to him" I wished Kevin would call me, but I wouldn't force him.

"Well I've gotta go I want to eat my cereal before the interview, Love ya Nic" I smiled 'love you too'

I lay in bed listening to the interview. I soon fell back asleep missing the class I was supposed to be at. Some days I can't help, but wish I were different.
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Why don't I like the girl I see,
The one who's standing right in front of me...
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-Nine months later-

"If distance is going to be such a problem......maybe we need to just....take a breath" WHY DID I SAY THAT! I'm such a dope! I felt selfish for saying that. I sighed after having the dream again I groaned rubbing my eyes. If I would have taken a second to think about him I wouldn't be so upset. Rolling out of bed I walked down to my coffee. "Nicole, don't you have class today?", Meg yelled from her room. She knew I did, so I know what her questions was going to be. 'Could you give me a ride to work on your way?'

"Yeh! Haha any chance that you could take this last class for me the rest of the semester?" I joked. I love history, just not the subject I was given. 'woo exciting war in history', but it was all that they had this year. If I didn't want to get to my dream job fast I would have signed up for Dark Ages History during the summer semester.

"NO WAY!", Meg giggled.

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'Nicoooole, it's Niiiick, yo-' I smiled. "Hey Ni-" before I could finish Nick and Joe were going a mile a minute about Kevin. "GUYS, slow down Kevin's eating a dolphin?" I made them laugh which was good. But, they explained Kevin was going out on a date. I felt my heart stop but then slowly begin to beat again. Shaking my head I leaned against the kitchen counter. "Guys, Kevin is a grown man, and it's been a year...just because I haven't moved on doesn't mean he shouldn't" I almost convinced myself that I was over him. Key word ALMOST! I sipped on my water even as I watched Meg and my room mates do shots.

"I guess your right, but still...we want you happy too", Nick sighed. I smiled as I walked to my room. Nick and Joe had been talking to me for months and it made me happy that they were concerned about my well being. "So, do you know if you're going to be living your dream soon?", he asked trying to soften the tension.

"Yeah, I start in about four months at the end of the semester, Rick seems nice enough. They travel so I'm excited about that" I smiled. I was part of a traveling stage hand group, we'd travel all over a state and go to theaters to give stage hands a break for a week. It was a new thing, but I thought it was a great opportunity. "I'm going to be in Michigan for a while,I'll be in Chicago for my birthday! We're touring Illinois for the month of June. Our first show is in Detroit one where Aly and A.J. are doing a show. So excited! I'm doing a concert for my first day!"

"That means we'll be checking up on you Nic you know that right? A.J. is a friend of ours, so if you are mean we'll hear about it", Joe joked. He knows be better then to believe I'd ever be rude or mean to a client.

"Yes sir, well listen I've got to go I've got to work on some homework then go to bed" I smiled as the two told me they loved me before I hung up. Why am I still so crazy in love with you Kevin Jonas?
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Why don't I think before I speak,
I should have listened to that voice inside me,
I must be stupid, must be crazy, must be out of my mind,
To say the kind of things I said, last night...
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-One Month later-

"Nicole McCoy" I can't believe it! I've graduated! It took me long enough it seems. I smiled walking up the platform to receive my bachelor's degree and couldn't help , but look in the audience. Mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, and significant others of my peers lined the walls in the bleachers.

Chad and my room mates screamed loudly for me as I walked to the other side to go back to my seat. I wished the Jonas family were there, Denise was my other mother and to have her there would have been great as well as Paul but I knew soon my phone would be ringing off the hook from Joe, and or Nick calling me to wish me a congrats. I knew it would take a while though because they were working on a new album.

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'I know I'm little crazy, I know I'm a little LO-' "CONGRATS NICOLE!!!", two very loud Jonas boys yelled in my ear.

"Hehe thank you guys I think I'm deaf now" I giggled. They laughed before fighting over who would talk first. "How's the new album going?" They told me about the new songs and made me smile telling me that one song was just for me, but I had to figure it out when I get the CD. I blushed as I lay back on the floor with boxes all around me. I told them about how everyone was moving the next week which caused them to talk more about things. I closed my eyes wishing that Kevin would talk to me too, but I listened to the boys for a little longer before we said goodbye. I looked into the mirror and ran my fingers through my long brown hair. it was growing down to my rear again. I don't like what I see, I need to change...
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Mirror mirror hanging on the wall,
You don't have to tell me who's the biggest fool of all,
Mirror mirror I wish you could lie to me,
And bring my baby back, bring my baby back to me,

Mirror mirror lie to me,
Show me what I wanna see,
Mirror mirror lie to me,
Show me what I wanna see...
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-Three months later-

"Hi I'm Aly, um I need some help do you possibly know if we can switch somethings on the stage?",she bit her lip as if she was waiting for me to yell at her. I just smiled and nodded.

"Sure, what do you need done? I feel bad, todays my first day as head stage hand, but whatever you need...", I giggled as she took my hand and pointed to things asking to move things. In no time Aly was pleased and smiled and brought her sister A.J. to meet me.

The blonds seemed very shocked at how easy our group was to deal with compared to others. "We're used to people trying to convince us not to move things because they don't want to bother!...wait...Nicole! Al, this is the girl Joe told us about!", she giggled. I just shook my head and shrugged. 'Uhm, I guess', I smiled they began sound check while I went back stage to call Nick I just couldn't wait to talk to him. I waited a while and figured I'd have to leave a message.
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"Dude it's called privacy..", Nick said to someone. I leaned against a wall and smiled.

"Nick you there? You better not have dropped me again!" I smiled as I twisted my now shorter hair. I smiled glad that I had decided to cut my hair and donate it to Locks of Love.

"Haha Yeah!", Nick laughed. I knew he didn't, but it still made me giggle. "So how's the first day going?"

"Fine, I think I might get some recommendations! Hehe I think the girls will give me some props with you and Joe haha" I couldn't help, but smile. "I get to see my dad since our next show is in Lancing, which will be nice, kill two birds with one stone" Sadly soon Nick had to go so we said our goodbyes. "Have fun when you start touring!"

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"Hi, Nicole...it's Kev I wanted to see how you were...you know my number. bye" His voice still sent shivers down my spine. I bit my lower lip as I looked down at my phone it was midnight which meant 9pm for him. Hesitantly I dialed the number as I closed my eyes. "Hello-" I smiled 'Kev-' "This is Kevin, sorry I didn't catch yea, but leave me a message and I'll call you back" I sighed running my fingers through my hair. BEEP 'Hey Kev, it's me...uh I guess call back I should be up..' I rolled my eyes closing my phone as I sat against the wall listening to the concert from the back curtain. Hi Kevin, It's me Nicole, I called back to tell you I still love you, and that I want you back? I'll just pretend I didn't actually want to say that.
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Why did I let you walk away,
When all I had to do was say I'm sorry,
I let my pride get in the way,
And in the heat of the moment I was to blame,
I must be stupid, must be crazy, must be out of my mind,
Now in the cold light of the day I realize...
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-A Month later-

I giggled after getting a call from Joe about how A.J. didn't shut up about me. "She loved you, she told me she got your phone number, haha she talks a lot huh?", he laughed making me laugh harder.

"Yeah, but it feels good to talk to a girl once in a while. Not that you aren't girl enough for me Joe" I giggled. Joe defending himself saying that he's only girly when it comes to grooming habits.

"You should talk to Kev, I know he wants to talk to you Nic", Joe said knowing that I was walking around the issue. Kevin and I would call each other, but we kept missing each other.

"I'll try again in a bit Joe, but I gotta go help with a sound check" I smiled as we hung up. I'll try again tonight
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Mirror mirror hanging on the wall,
You don't have to tell me who's the biggest fool of all,
Mirror mirror I wish you could lie to me,
And bring my baby back, bring my baby back to me...
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Ok, this is it, I'm going to call him. Just as I reached for the phone I pulled away. I can do this I know I can. Tears almost broke as I heard his ring tone play. Taking a deep breath I answered it.

I can't tell him how much I miss him. "Yeah, I got my BA, and am now a head stage hand" it felt good to hear his voice. Closing my eyes I listened to him talk about the album. He was always the talker. Any time he brought up my dating life I would always turn it to him. "What about this Amber girl? Aren't you seeing her?" I made me smile to know he wasn't seeing anyone. It soon became awkward for us, I smiled thinking of Joe just randomly showing up saying such a thing if ever it was quiet. Before I could tell him how I missed him I looked to my clock and saw it was late and knew I had to be up early tomorrow. "I, I gotta go...I need me sleep" I close my eyes and smiled to hold back tears. "It was good to talk to you Kev..." He said the same before we hung up. It took all of me not to break down and tell him how much I loved him still. Sadly I never called him after that.
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-Five and a half months later-

"Nicole!", Rick shouted waving the new sheet in front of my face. "Here's the game plan for June sorry it's so late kid. Last minute shows haha", he chuckled handing me the sheet. It was the usual plays, conce- I looked on the show in Chicago and almost dropped the clip board.

Week of June 13th in Chicago.

June 13th - Load up Taming of the Shrew,
June 14th - Set stage for concert performance
June 15th - Jonas Brothers concert(Nicole's birthday!)
June 16th - Take Concert stage apart(Nic's day off)
June 17th - Ready for Romeo + Juliet set
June 18th - Sound, lights, and cue check
June 19th - R+J play then pack up for heading out again.

This is going to be fun!
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If only wishes could be dreams,
And know my dreams could come true,
There would be two us standing here in front of you,
If you could show me that someone that I used to be,
Bring back my baby, my baby to me,

Mirror mirror hanging on the wall,
You don't have to tell me who's the biggest fool of all,
Mirror mirror I wish you could lie to me,
And bring my baby back, bring my baby back to me...
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-Half a month later-

I was trying hard not to be nervous today. I knew the boys would be here in a few hours, but they would understand. The moving truck for The Shew play had broken down on the way to the theater which put us a bit behind schedule, but not by much. I tried to lift a tub, but for some reason I was having trouble. "Jim? Jim? I need help!" I looked around, but couldn't find one of my stage hands. I sighed and tried to lift the tub once again. I've done it once I can do- ok I guess not. "Jim, haha seriously I need help!" I laughed. Suddenly the other end of the tub was lifted. These tubs were big, they were tall enough to cover my face when picked up which angered me. 'like I don't feel short enough' I looked down to make sure that we wouldn't drop the tub when I noticed the strangers shoes. "You're not Jim haha, he definitely wouldn't wear boots", I giggled liking the boots all the same. The two of us grunted, but succeeded in getting the large tub into the truck with a bit of dust on our clothes. I began dusting my knees and top turning to the helper."Thank you I needed the he-"I began as I turned, but was soon met by that soft curly hair and beautiful hazel eyes that made my heart race. His soft eyes searched me before he opened his mouth.

"Nicole?"
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Mirror mirror hanging on the wall,
You don't have to tell me who's the biggest fool of all,
Mirror mirror I wish you could lie to me,
And bring my baby back, bring my baby back to me,

Mirror mirror lie to me,
Show me what I wanna see,
Mirror mirror lie to me,
Mirror mirror lie to me,
Show me what I wanna see,
Mirror mirror lie to me...
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