The Young

I'm not sure why it's so difficult to tell someone what is really going on in your mind. Why is it that when someone asks, "How are you?" You automatically say "I'm fine" or "I'm okay." Rather than the thoughts that run around your brain at that exact moment the ones that say, "I fucking hate this shit right now." And "No, I'm not fine." When is it okay to look someone in the eyes and say, "I love you." "I fucking love you so much it hurts to think about you." Because I never would have thought that I'd meet you and we'd go through so much together doing things that to others would seem unordinary for a couple of "friends" but then again we weren't just friends...we were lovers and we were okay with being just that. We had no title to define us and never did we need one, we are who we are now and who we were before but we've learned from that and I hope that we can learn from this. I don't want to say goodbye to you but you're really leaving. You're going back to England back to the you before Los Angeles, before college, before us. How long is it going to take before you tell me what you really want to say? I'm standing right in front of you looking at you for the last time before you stand up to walk through those doors onto that plane that's going to take you back. Please. Just say something, say what you need to tell me, tell me what that look in your eye means, please say anything.

…..

We met at a strange time. I think I remember seeing you briefly at a party one night but that doesn't count. Funny when you think of it now how close we were to meeting, how many times we were around each other coincidentally until we met at that one point in time. Before you there was Scott, he the person that first taught me all there was to know about being a lover. He met me at a time when I was picking myself up and I thought he would be the one to help me up but as it turns out some people act like they want to be there for you without actually having to be there and when I broke down in front of him he left me broken forced to pick up the remaining pieces. Then I met you, and I really thought after Scott that I'd never meet anyone let alone love anyone like I loved him. I never thought I'd let anyone come into my life after being hurt by someone who didn't want to be loved. See I had waited over 3 years for someone to come into my life and let me love them, I had so much love in me and no one to give it to and when I met Scott it seemed like it was too good to be true. And it was. Scott didn't want to fall in love he just wanted what he could get from me and without having to say or do much I let him be that person who would show me what I had been missing. Quickly we fell in love with the sleepless nights, the buried kisses, tender touches and meaningful conversations until he decided he had gotten what he wanted from me and when I asked for more he cut me off. It was so easy for him to deny me my love because he hadn't fallen for me as quickly as I had for him. So forgive me if when we first met it seemed like I was someone else because I wasn't myself then, I was the person Scott had created. All I can remember from the night we met were three things: One, your name is Jack, Two, we slept together and Three, you were there to fill the void.

…..

My name is Krystal but most people call me Krysta or Krys but I just prefer Krysta. I live on the outskirts of Los Angeles a place where most people who come to visit typically ignore but if you live there you know that North Hollywood otherwise known as NOHO is it's own arts district. It's full of tons of cool hot spots and scenic places that some people forget even exists. Which seems a little biased and hypocritical of me to say since I hardly even hang out around there but I was born and raised there and no matter where I go in the future, where I end up, NOHO will always be home.
My story is a little complicated...but if you let me I'll tell you all there is to know about me, my friends, and all I know about falling in love. That's what all these stories are about right? Songs, books, films, poems, stories, gossip it's all about love. Fore warning there may be some cheesy speeches but I assure you in every sense of the word it's all real.
Life for me didn't really start until after I graduated high school and I'm sure that's when life really starts for anyone. Everyone talks about how after you graduate and start becoming an adult is hard work and a bit of a whirlwind but no one really tells you about the heavy shit that just starts happening. It's like you're living in this bubble and once you graduate, once life see's that you think it's going to be a breeze someone comes along and pops your bubble they burst that sense of security you had and then you're thrown into the world with the rest of us. The people that can handle what life is throwing at them and those that have no idea why anything is happening. Now don't get me wrong I'm not old or anything I'm just barely starting out, I'm twenty years old on the verge of being legal and I know that I have yet to experience anything harsh life is trying to dish out on me. I am one of those people wondering why this is happening to me and just like the rest of you I'll keep on wondering why until I become immune to it all and I'm learning what I can to help myself out in the future. All that with a little help from my friends.

I went to North Hollywood high and although it was public and your typical American school everyone there knew each other it was like our own little small town. So it's a given when you graduate to stay in touch with your friends if you can and it's tough to say this but if you can...do whatever you can to keep them around you never know when you won't be able to call them your friends. I used to talk to everyone in school like I said before everyone knew each other without having to know each other, and me I was just lucky enough to know so many people. But the few I had the chance to call my best friends were Anna, Reese and Emily. Anna was my best friend, my partner in crime we had the same thoughts and so much in common but for the longest time we always competed with each other. Reese was my twin, she didn’t exactly look like me but we somehow acted like each other down to the same laugh and no matter what she did we always stuck by each other. Emily was really shy and although I call her my best friend she wasn’t exactly that, we never really hung out on our own like I did with Reese or Anna but we were good friends and if she hadn't moved away we'd probably still be good friends. Emily was the first to go. After graduation she moved away to a town only half an hour to an hour away depending on the traffic but because of her persistent fear of the freeway and her college being within distance of her home she never really had a reason to stray from her new town.

And then there were three. I'll pick up where it first began to make things easier for you. It was a couple of years ago before Scott and Jack before anyone but me. I was fresh out of high school and living the life going to summer school at my new college meeting new people in my English class. It was pretty cool but nerve racking at the same time having to show up to this new place on your own and it was a lot bigger than high school. My University for reasons will remain undisclosed but just know it is a well known university that most people think is average. When I stepped onto that campus trying to find my class I knew this place was meant for me. I mean it had that vibe that made me feel at tune with myself and what's an art major to do with herself? The beginning of English class was uneventful to say the least, everyone stayed closed off for the first couple of days until our teacher assigned our groups the next week that would be our permanent groups for the rest of the summer. In my group were three other girls that seemed at first...like bitches. There was Tina and Crystal with a C who both went to school together and Hannah who seemed like the other girl I'd connect with. They were all cool of course and little by little in the span of 2 hours we became fast friends.