Tears on the Runway

The contents of my stomach spilled into the toilet bowl with a sickening slap as it disturbed the still water. Exhausted, I rested my head against the cool porcelain only feeling slightly disgusted as I retched into the bowl again. Sweat beaded on my forehead as my stomach turned.

The house was completely empty as Ben had left an hour earlier in an effort to get his mother put of the house as she’d spent the past few days in a sort of depressive state. “Are you sure you don’t want to go?” he asked me, holding me by the elbows with his big, warm hands.

“Positive,” I’d managed, swallowing back my nausea. “I’m just feeling a tad sick.”

“Alright, Let me know if you need anything, love,” he’s finished, pressing a gentle kiss against my forehead.

I remembered the exchange as a new wave of nausea came over me and I released what was left of my breakfast into the toilet

The front door slammed shut at the front of the house and I would have jumped at the sudden noise, but I didn’t have the energy in me.

“Ben?” Bex called into the mostly empty house. She let a minute pass and then she called, “Dai?” Her voice had moved closer to Ben’s bedroom.

A muffled groan left my lips to declare my presence in the bathroom adjacent to Ben’s room.

“Dai?” Bex murmured, gently pushing the bathroom door open. “Oh my gosh, Dai. Are you okay?” she questioned, her tone concerned.

I shook my head vehemently and Bex kneeled to my level, her hand resting on my back, soothingly.

For the time being my vomit had stopped, my gut still writhing with nausea. I sat to face Bex. “It’s been like this since Ben left this morning,” I choked out, my eyes watering.

Bex smoothed down my hair and took hold of my hand in her soft, cold ones. She pulled me to my feet and once I was up didn’t let go of my hand as she declared, “let’s get you to bed.”

“Bex,” I gripped onto her hand tighter, my other hand moving to grab her arm. My eyes were wide, almost brimming with tears. “My period,” I breathed. “It’s late… it’s late.”

My soon-to-be sister’s eyes grew wide. For a moment she just stood, shocked. It didn’t take long before she composed herself and held up a finger, disconnecting her limbs from mine and leaving me standing in the middle of the room.

Minutes later Bex reappeared, three small, rectangular boxes in her hands.

I gazed up at her, wide eyed, while she dumped the boxes onto the bed beside me.

Three different brands of pregnancy tests were skewed about next to me. Hesitantly, I picked one up and glanced back up at her. “Why do you just have these lying around?”

Bex gave me a gentle shrug. “Just in case.” When she noticed the look I gave her she continued, “what? Accidents happen.”

For a moment I just sat, my eyes scanning over the boxes… scared. Ben and I had never even discussed the possibility of having children. I didn’t know even know if he wanted kids. What if he was angry with me? What if I ruined his plans?

“Dai?” Bex snapped her fingers in front of my face in an effort to pull me from my reverie. “So? Are you gonna do this or what?”

I chewed on my lower lip and nodded, slowly. I had to find out now, no matter how scared I was.

A giant sigh left my lungs as I heaved myself up from the comfort of the bed and into the adjacent bathroom, the boxes in my arms.

Bex never left me, for which I was very thankful. Even as I took the tests she waited quietly, patiently, outside of the barrier of the door. She opened the door when I was sat at the edge of the bathtub with my face buried into my hands.

The three tests were lined up neatly on the bathroom counter, my phone beside them set up with a five minute timer. Now the nausea that erupted in my stomach had less to do with my stomach and everything to do with the nerves wracking my entire body, the nerves that had me shaking from head to toe.

Bex took a seat next to me and put her arm over my trembling shoulder and just sat there with me in complete silence. She probably realized that I was a mess and couldn’t think straight if I had to at this moment. She jumped slightly when my phone went off once the five minutes were up.

My body shook as I stood on my unsteady feet. I kept my eyes squeezed shut until I reached the counter and peeked through one eye. Once I saw the result my eyes shot open, shocked.

All three tests revealed two thin, pink lines. Pregnant.

A soft cry escaped my lips and a hand came up to clamp itself over my mouth. My head was swimming with thoughts, or rather drowning in them.

“Dai?” Bex called, gently. “You okay?”

For the second time, I shook my head, tears welling up in my eyes. “What will Ben think?” I whispered. “I don’t even know if he wants kids. What if he’s upset?”

Bex pursed her lips. “My brother wouldn’t be upset over something like that. Probably just shocked if anything.”

“He’ll hate me!” I shouted, once again hiding my face in my hands.

“No he won’t.” I could have sworn she rolled her eyes at me. “You guys are engaged to be married in a couple of weeks. I doubt he’ll be upset. And besides, it’s not like you ended up pregnant by yourself-”

“Pregnant?” A new voice joined us from the doorway. Ben.