Status: a continual Work in progress
The Real Story
Devastation of the Atom Bomb
May 27th 2013 4:28 (EST)
Did I really just give him the ultimatum? Did I just take charge and stand up for myself? Apparently so, because he is sitting next to me on this flight home. Never, in a million years, did I ever think I was capable of putting on the pants and stand up against him.
But he is actually coming home with me! (Even though it was more so out of convenience than for me… Fall out Boy show in NYC, figures…)
- - - - -
5:36 (EST)
We landed and he held my hand in his while we waited for his rental to ride around.
We began driving home and for once we talked in the car:
“Why did you pull that on me?”
I didn’t quite know how to answer him, but weakly I gave in and said:
“Because I’m sick of being crazy.”
“Why do you keep saying that? Who honestly gives a shit of what other kids your age say?”
“Because I get so much shit for it. You try spending just one day in my shoes. You have no idea how bad it is; how much shit I deal with.”
Who the fuck actually cares? That was his favorite question. Like many things that annoy me, I had enough. He stopped for gas and while he was pumping dollars away to the “economy”, I got out.
“I’m done! You want to make light of the shit I deal with because of you? Be my guest! Oh and find a new girl to patronize and take advantage of!”
I called my mom but before I could hit send to connect the call, he snatched my S.O.S. and cancelled it.
“For a kid trying so hard to act so much older than she actually is, you kind of suck at it… You need to calm down. You don’t seem to understand how much I actually love you. Why do you think I’m here?”
He came closer but I backed up with each step.
“Come on Baby girl, come here. Let me make it all go away.”
He cooed as I tried to get away.
“Sweetie, please?”
I couldn’t resist. I do really love him and always have for 12 years… Damn fandom crush. I caved, but instead of yelling at me like I expected him to do, he simply said:
“Baby, I’m so sorry. I’ve been awful and selfish, but I’m going to fix it all.”
May 28, 2013 8:13 am (PST)
Mom gave me a note to get out of the hell-hole I call school early. I had no idea why but she did.
He came to get me. It was odd watching all of the people staring. It was even weirder to see him at the front lobby desk giving his license to the security guard. Never thought I’d see the day.
“Hey Baby!”
He said as hugs and kisses created a wave of oohs and ah’s that crashed over the crowd gathered to see a quick glimpse of the celebrity. It was really pathetic if you ask me…
“Hi Petey…”
I slowly reply, laying a thick layer of confusion over my words. We walked out and to the rental car. I can’t believe I’m getting in and actually going somewhere with him.
“I thought my mom was coming…”
“Well, it was written on the note. But how was your day? What’s in that case? How’s Jessie, Mandy, Kirsten, Mariah, Nick?”
- - - - - - -
I don’t even remember the last time he so interested in the mundane aspects of my day in prison.
- - - - - - -
“It was fine. My artwork is in here. Nick’s a little creepy, but otherwise they’re fine.”
“Oh cool. Listen, what are you doing this summer?”
I just kind of looked at him, what the hell is wrong with him. He is never this curious about what I’m up too. He has never wanted to know what I do while I’m in New York. He never once cared. I’d be surprised if he knew what I was planning to study in college, or that I’m so invested in the art program at school.
“Not much that I know of. Maybe a party or couple hangouts with friends, but nothing really. Why?”
“Good!”
Still confused I repeated my inquiry on his about my summer plans.
“Well, I already talked to your mom and dad and everything. I want to take you on tour with us. You know? Just spend a shit ton of time together.”
Now I was really confused. I never thought he wanted to spend an extended weekend with me, let alone a complete tour. I sensed a catch. There was obviously a hoop or two I was going to have to jump through. There is no way in hell he was able to just take me along. He had already made that very clear to me months ago.
“I thought you weren’t able to take anyone on tour with you.”
“That’s the thing- I found a way to do it!”
“How?”
“Well, your mom said you are in need of a job. We need a full time photographer. You’re really good and already have a professional camera. It’s perfect!”
As he went on about the perfection of his plan, I was dealing with a micro melt down. People, for the first time were going to see me. Like seriously see me, as his girlfriend. Was I even ready for this? I mean, yeah I was losing in a kind of last stitch effort to get him to notice me but I was still hanging around a size 18. Pete’s fake girlfriend rocks a size 1 on her bloated days (or something like that…). How could I compete with her? She is a god damned model. Fuck. My. Life.
Did I really just give him the ultimatum? Did I just take charge and stand up for myself? Apparently so, because he is sitting next to me on this flight home. Never, in a million years, did I ever think I was capable of putting on the pants and stand up against him.
But he is actually coming home with me! (Even though it was more so out of convenience than for me… Fall out Boy show in NYC, figures…)
- - - - -
5:36 (EST)
We landed and he held my hand in his while we waited for his rental to ride around.
We began driving home and for once we talked in the car:
“Why did you pull that on me?”
I didn’t quite know how to answer him, but weakly I gave in and said:
“Because I’m sick of being crazy.”
“Why do you keep saying that? Who honestly gives a shit of what other kids your age say?”
“Because I get so much shit for it. You try spending just one day in my shoes. You have no idea how bad it is; how much shit I deal with.”
Who the fuck actually cares? That was his favorite question. Like many things that annoy me, I had enough. He stopped for gas and while he was pumping dollars away to the “economy”, I got out.
“I’m done! You want to make light of the shit I deal with because of you? Be my guest! Oh and find a new girl to patronize and take advantage of!”
I called my mom but before I could hit send to connect the call, he snatched my S.O.S. and cancelled it.
“For a kid trying so hard to act so much older than she actually is, you kind of suck at it… You need to calm down. You don’t seem to understand how much I actually love you. Why do you think I’m here?”
He came closer but I backed up with each step.
“Come on Baby girl, come here. Let me make it all go away.”
He cooed as I tried to get away.
“Sweetie, please?”
I couldn’t resist. I do really love him and always have for 12 years… Damn fandom crush. I caved, but instead of yelling at me like I expected him to do, he simply said:
“Baby, I’m so sorry. I’ve been awful and selfish, but I’m going to fix it all.”
May 28, 2013 8:13 am (PST)
Mom gave me a note to get out of the hell-hole I call school early. I had no idea why but she did.
He came to get me. It was odd watching all of the people staring. It was even weirder to see him at the front lobby desk giving his license to the security guard. Never thought I’d see the day.
“Hey Baby!”
He said as hugs and kisses created a wave of oohs and ah’s that crashed over the crowd gathered to see a quick glimpse of the celebrity. It was really pathetic if you ask me…
“Hi Petey…”
I slowly reply, laying a thick layer of confusion over my words. We walked out and to the rental car. I can’t believe I’m getting in and actually going somewhere with him.
“I thought my mom was coming…”
“Well, it was written on the note. But how was your day? What’s in that case? How’s Jessie, Mandy, Kirsten, Mariah, Nick?”
- - - - - - -
I don’t even remember the last time he so interested in the mundane aspects of my day in prison.
- - - - - - -
“It was fine. My artwork is in here. Nick’s a little creepy, but otherwise they’re fine.”
“Oh cool. Listen, what are you doing this summer?”
I just kind of looked at him, what the hell is wrong with him. He is never this curious about what I’m up too. He has never wanted to know what I do while I’m in New York. He never once cared. I’d be surprised if he knew what I was planning to study in college, or that I’m so invested in the art program at school.
“Not much that I know of. Maybe a party or couple hangouts with friends, but nothing really. Why?”
“Good!”
Still confused I repeated my inquiry on his about my summer plans.
“Well, I already talked to your mom and dad and everything. I want to take you on tour with us. You know? Just spend a shit ton of time together.”
Now I was really confused. I never thought he wanted to spend an extended weekend with me, let alone a complete tour. I sensed a catch. There was obviously a hoop or two I was going to have to jump through. There is no way in hell he was able to just take me along. He had already made that very clear to me months ago.
“I thought you weren’t able to take anyone on tour with you.”
“That’s the thing- I found a way to do it!”
“How?”
“Well, your mom said you are in need of a job. We need a full time photographer. You’re really good and already have a professional camera. It’s perfect!”
As he went on about the perfection of his plan, I was dealing with a micro melt down. People, for the first time were going to see me. Like seriously see me, as his girlfriend. Was I even ready for this? I mean, yeah I was losing in a kind of last stitch effort to get him to notice me but I was still hanging around a size 18. Pete’s fake girlfriend rocks a size 1 on her bloated days (or something like that…). How could I compete with her? She is a god damned model. Fuck. My. Life.