Summer Has Come and Passed

The week passed with such a blur due to the fact nothing worth really remembering or mentioning happened. Mike and I’s phone calls continued on and each day I learned something new about what was going on back in Oakland. I was saddened to hear that Jade and Mike had broken up only a few weeks after summer had ended. He didn’t go into detail about what caused the break-up, and I fully understood where he was coming from, so I didn’t press him to tell me.

I also learned that Lisa, my favorite little blond, had finally made things right with her on-again off-again boyfriend, Justin. I was glad that someone’s love life was going well, even if that someone wasn’t me. It was just nice to know that one of my friends was happy with someone.

Mike also informed me that they in fact had a new and permanent drummer, Tre, and from what Mike told me he was completely off his nut, which meant he was a perfect fit for the band. Beside the fact that he was a complete beast with a set of drums and some sticks. I’d have to take his word for it.

Mike was also cautious as to not really mention Billie to me, he sort of danced around it. I was thankful for that.

I was also very thankful at the moment that Ashley and I had finally made it into the warm coffee shop just a little ways’ away from the campus. We both really needed a pick-me-up. We huddled up at the counter and after glancing at the menu overhead we both decided on what we wanted to drink and paid the barista behind the counter.

I claimed a table seated by the window and sat down while Ashley stood at the counter waiting for our drinks. I traced my finger on the dark wooden table, quietly sinking deep into my thoughts.

I didn’t even acknowledge Ashley’s presence till she waved the cup in my face, dragging me out of my thoughts. She sat down, tossing a dread over her shoulder.

“You alright there chicka-dee?” She asked before she took a sip from her coffee.

I nodded, and popped the tab on my own coffee open. “Yeah,” I said. “I’m good”

Ashley shrugged, letting it go and the two of us indulged in minor conversation. Ranging from complaining about upcoming term papers, Mr. Riker’s growing bald spot, whether Pamela Anderson’s jugs were real, (“They’re fake, they’ve gotta be. No one’s tits are that great.”) and who was the bigger hottie: Leonardo DiCaprio or Tom Cruz.

I myself favored Leonardo, how could you deny him?

Ashley and I continued chatting away, sipping at our coffees until she left, telling me how she remembered she had a date with her boyfriend, Alex. I sipped at the last little bit of my coffee, and stared out the window, noticing that it was darker out than I last remembered. I blew out air, breathing on the window fogging it up and dragging my finger on it to make a mindless doodle.

That letter I found—and then destroyed—had been easing in and out of my head this entire week. Unwelcomed memories started flooding themselves in my head as well due to the letter, and also due to my frequent phone calls with Mike—who still wouldn’t spill how he obtained my number.

Everything was beginning to remind me of some sort of aspect of Oakland and it’s people especially one person in particular.
I didn’t wanna think about that part of Oakland. I didn’t wanna think about that one particular person in Oakland, but I just couldn’t help myself, and I hated myself for that. I hated how I had him cloud my head, his eyes, his smile, his laugh.

I wanted to punch myself.

Why should I even give him the satisfaction of being on my mind when he didn’t give a damn about me anymore? I felt a pang in my chest at that realization.

Damn, I hated how that still hurt me.

How I still thought of him and remembered our memories, good 'n bad, and he didn't think anything of me anymore. He’d probably spit on me if he ever saw me again.

Why should I care though if he does or doesn’t think about me?

I shouldn’t.

I won’t.

But I just can't help it.

“Dammit!” I exclaimed, slamming my fist on the table. Looks and stares automatically shot over in my direction.

My hands ran through my scalp, over and over again until I finally dropped my face into my hands with an exasperated sigh.

“Ma’am?” A soft voice piped up. I looked up to see a 20 something year old girl in front of me, hair pulled into a tight ponytail, wearing a workers apron, looking down at me. “—Ma’am are you alright?”

“I’m fine.” I said dismissively.

“Ma’am,” She said again, and I was fighting the urge to just get up and punch her for repeatedly calling me that, it made me feel old. “We’ll be closing in a few.”

My eyes flashed to the nearest clock. “It can’t be that late.” I said.

“Oh it’s not,” She said. “But we are closing early today.”

“Fuck.” I muttered under my breath. I glanced at her name tag that read ‘Kris’ which I guessed was short for Kristen, or Kristal or whatever the case may be.

“Are you sure you’re ok?” She inquired.

“I’m fine--”, I said, squinting my eyes at her name tag again to make sure I had it right. “—Kris.”

“Well,” She said. “Alright then.”

“What’s ‘Kris’ stand for anyway?” I blurted out once she began walking away.

Turning around on her heels, she said, smiling. “It stands for Kristabelle.”

“Oh,” I mumbled. “I’m Vienna.” I muttered, feeling sort of obligated that I’d share my name as well.

"Nice to meet you, Vienna," she said, sitting down in what used to be Ashley's seat. "I'm sorry, but, my dogs are barkin'."

I raised my hands. "Hey, it's a free country. Take a load off." I said understandingly.

"Thanks," She said flashing a small smile. "Y'know my manager sent me over here because you...well because you banged on the table." She said with her head ducked kind of low, whispering.

"I kinda figured that." I whispered in a mocking fashion, my head ducked low as well.

"So you wanna tell me what that was all about?" She asked raising an eyebrow. "I gotta tell my manager somethin'."

"I said I was fine." I stated firmly.

"Fine, just keep tellin' yourself that," She said getting up, but not before letting out a loud stretch. "Whatever helps you get through the night-- have a nice day."

I twisted the empty coffee cup in my hands before biting down on my bottom lip. "It's a guy." I blurted out with no thought beforehand.

"Now that's more like it." Kris said, dropping herself back down into the chair.

I twisted the empty cup faster in my hands, trying to figure out why on Earth did I just blurt that out to a complete stranger.

"So," she said. "What about this guy?"

"It's nothin', it's complicated," I replied, I really wish I hadn't opened my mouth. "Forget it."

"So, whatever's goin' on with you and 'this guy'," she said, along with using her fingers to quote the end of her statement. "Is the reason you banged on the table?"

I shrugged my shoulders in a dismissive manner, hoping that now she'd just walk away.

"So I'll take that as a yes, alright." She nodded.

I hadn't made any kind of eye contact with, Kris. I was too busy rambling on in my head whether or not it'd be a good idea to spill the beans to random character. I finally blew out a huff of air and pushed the cup aside.

"Well," I started off, tucking a strand of my hair behind my ear. "It's like this..."