Falling Out

“So, what you are saying is not to do anything about it right now; to let it just play out?” Mike asked John our PR guy. We had him on speakerphone. I paced back and forth in the kitchen with my finger on my chin. Adrienne sat across from Mike by the phone.

“That is exactly what I am saying. Look, you guys are going to have a phone interview with Kerrang! in a few weeks. They will more than likely ask you some questions about it and I would advise to answer discreetly. You can tell them how you found out about Amber but for her sake the whole world doesn’t need to know about what happened to her.”

“Once her name is out there, though, anyone can look up public records and find out more about her. Her aunt and uncle plead guilty to all charges that were brought to them.” Adrienne piped up. They plead guilty for abusing her but not her uncle raping her.

“Except for the rape. We all just found out about that and I don’t know if Amber wants to do anything about it.” I added.

“You’re right, Adrienne. We can’t do anything about that. Billie, if you want to disclose any of that information before another tabloid does, you can. Just do it with caution.” I sighed and ran my hands through my hair. This was all shit.

“Thanks, John.” Mike said before hanging up. Mike looked at me.

“Do you know what you want to do?” He asked me. I sat down next Adrienne.

“I think, depending on Kerrang!’s questions, that we say what happened with her. I’ll go into the story about how I never knew she existed and her mother died of cancer and that she was abused. That’s it. I’m not giving her full name, either.”

“What about why you were leaving an abortion clinic?” Mike asked. I started to rub my temples.

“You can just say that you were taking her to get her birth control filled. They don’t just do abortions at that clinic.” Adrienne said. I nodded. This was all too overwhelming. She’s only been here a month and already I had to do damage control. That sounded bad. It wasn’t her fault that I was famous and that I was her father.

When I climbed the last stair I saw Tre closing Amber’s door gently. He stopped dead when he saw me.

“What are you doing in her room?” I asked, a little suspicion peeking in my voice. He started walking towards me.

“She’s asleep.” He whispered. He walked past me and started down the stairs. I followed suit.

“That’s good and all but why were you in her room?” I asked. He turned to me once we got into the living room.

“Look, don’t freak out. Nothing happened. When you and Mike started talking to the John on the phone about PR shit I went to check on Amber. Better be glad I did.”

“What does that mean?” I asked.

“Dude, she just found out that everyone in the world knows about her abortion and that they think you are her sugar daddy. She was upset about it. I started talking to her about music and her mom and then she went all confessional and saying how she hated that piece of shit who did this to her and how she basically hated life. I got worried that she might do something drastic.” I crossed my arms, knowing he was skipping over some details. When Tre lied he always looked everywhere but the person he was lying to.

“Uh huh. Is that it?” He started to stutter.

“Well, um, yeah. I mean, I gave her a comforting hug-”

“What the fuck, Tre?! She is a 17 year old rape victim! You are a 33 year old man! You don’t do shit like that.” Tre put his hands up in defense.

“Calm down. I asked her and she said it was fine. I didn’t impose myself on her.”

“Of course she said you could. She has been acquiescent her whole life practically.” I yelled. Adrienne walked in with Mike behind her.

“Is everything okay?” Mike asked looking between Tre and I. He probably thought I looked like I was about to punch Tre. I felt like I could. I looked back at Tre.

“Look, learn some boundaries or this will blow up in your face. She isn’t ready for this. I know you meant well but please, back off a little. If you want to hang out with her, don’t do it in her room or alone.” Tre nodded.

“I’m sorry.” He apologized.

“What happened?” Adrienne asked. I looked at her.

“I’ll tell you later. Tre, what did she say exactly?” I asked him. He looked down.

“I don’t think it’s my place to say anything.” He said as he started playing with the hem of his shirt. His silence was scaring me.

“Oh, I think it is.” My voice held a little hint of threat, prompting him to go further. He sighed.

“She was just saying how she thought she was ruined. She feels like she can never have a normal life after what happened to her. She felt betrayed by everyone in her life, including you and herself. She blames herself for letting that sick fuck rape her because she could have stopped it at anytime. She had no ties with that family but she still kept her mouth shut. She basically says she hates her life and that she missed Amanda.” I was silent. I shouldn’t be surprised that she felt this way but I was. It was hard thinking that such a small girl can be filled to brim with hate, sadness, anger, and resentment towards everyone and herself. I hated that she felt this way. I couldn’t help but blame myself a little but I blamed her mother more.

“Does that make you feel better, Billie Joe? Making me tell you something that she told me in confidence? I hope you are satisfied because fuck you. That girl doesn’t trust easy and I managed to gain it but fuck all that. Fuck you.” Tre turned around and walked out of the house, slamming the door behind him. I just stood there, flabbergasted by his outburst. I looked over to Adrienne and Mike who shared the same look as I did. We have all seen Tre angry before but it was so rare that he got angry that it was shocking when he expressed it. I started to feel guilty. I know I shouldn’t have pushed him like that but I honestly don’t know what I am doing right now. I don’t know how to raise my kids much less a 17 year old girl who has been through more of her fair share of pain and suffering. And it doesn’t help that, even though I know it is not my fault because I didn’t know about her, I blame myself for what she has been through.

Maybe I should have taken my own advice and watch my boundaries.