Falling Out
One
My eyes slowly opened. I wish they hadn’t. Once I was fully awake I felt all the pain. I clutched my stomach and inhaled sharply. Constant ringing in my ear gave me a headache. Beeping noises started going faster as I looked around frantically at the room that I was in. Where was I? How did I get here? I heard the door open and a lady came by the machine that was beeping a pressed a few buttons. My whole body began to relax immediately. The lady looked down at me and smiled.
“It’s okay, honey. You are in a hospital. No one can hurt you in here, okay?” I looked at her with confusion. Why was I in the hospital? And just like that, the memories hit me.
The punching. The kicking. The hands around my neck. The water.
I should be freaking out right now but they had really good drugs here.
“If everything checks out you will be going home today with your father!” The nurse said as she put another bag up. She was peppy.
“My...father?” I was shocked at how my voice sounded. It was barely a whisper. I brought my hand to my throat. And instant flashback appeared before my eyes.
“You are worthless! This is all your fault!” She screamed as she squeezed harder.
I closed my eyes, shaking my head. I brought my hand back down and rested it on my lap. The nurse looked at me with sorrowful eyes.
“You shouldn’t talk, dear.” I simply nodded.
“Have you ever met your father?” I shook my head. She smiled.
“Well, I’ll let you see who it is yourself. You’ll be in shock!” I gave her an odd look before she walked out. I was always told that my father had left my mom when she was pregnant with me. Well, that was what Jim and Carol had told me. Then again, I should have never believed what they say.
For the rest of the day, I just lied in the hospital bed and stared off into space as the TV droned on for background noise. I tried not to think of what happened to me that day or days before that one. The only way I could do that was to shut everything off. I was pretty used to shutting things off, which was the only way I could live this long. Well, it wasn’t exactly living. It was more like surviving. Surviving the small stick that I drew at life.
Being alone didn’t last long. I looked up when the door opened and widened my eyes as the person stepped through. He sat down on the chair beside me and smiled at me.
“Well, don’t you look shocked.”
“You’re my father?” I asked, my voice sill hoarse.
“You’re my daughter?” He mocked my shocked tone. I shook my head. He gave me a half smile. We were silent for a few minutes.
“Well, listen, um...you are coming home with me and stuff and, uh...we will be leaving shortly. Dr. Chesser is going to come in here and do a final check up on you and we will be gone.” I nodded. Billie Joe stood up. He went to pat my shoulder but I scooted away, not wanting to be touched by anyone, even him. He closed his hand and brought it back down to his side.
“I’m going to call Adrienne and tell her that we will be coming home and give you some privacy.” I nodded, still not looking at him. He nodded once before leaving the room. It’s hard to find out that a father who I thought never wanted me is back into my life but it’s even harder finding out that it is someone famous. Especially as famous as Billie Joe Armstrong.
“It’s okay, honey. You are in a hospital. No one can hurt you in here, okay?” I looked at her with confusion. Why was I in the hospital? And just like that, the memories hit me.
The punching. The kicking. The hands around my neck. The water.
I should be freaking out right now but they had really good drugs here.
“If everything checks out you will be going home today with your father!” The nurse said as she put another bag up. She was peppy.
“My...father?” I was shocked at how my voice sounded. It was barely a whisper. I brought my hand to my throat. And instant flashback appeared before my eyes.
“You are worthless! This is all your fault!” She screamed as she squeezed harder.
I closed my eyes, shaking my head. I brought my hand back down and rested it on my lap. The nurse looked at me with sorrowful eyes.
“You shouldn’t talk, dear.” I simply nodded.
“Have you ever met your father?” I shook my head. She smiled.
“Well, I’ll let you see who it is yourself. You’ll be in shock!” I gave her an odd look before she walked out. I was always told that my father had left my mom when she was pregnant with me. Well, that was what Jim and Carol had told me. Then again, I should have never believed what they say.
For the rest of the day, I just lied in the hospital bed and stared off into space as the TV droned on for background noise. I tried not to think of what happened to me that day or days before that one. The only way I could do that was to shut everything off. I was pretty used to shutting things off, which was the only way I could live this long. Well, it wasn’t exactly living. It was more like surviving. Surviving the small stick that I drew at life.
Being alone didn’t last long. I looked up when the door opened and widened my eyes as the person stepped through. He sat down on the chair beside me and smiled at me.
“Well, don’t you look shocked.”
“You’re my father?” I asked, my voice sill hoarse.
“You’re my daughter?” He mocked my shocked tone. I shook my head. He gave me a half smile. We were silent for a few minutes.
“Well, listen, um...you are coming home with me and stuff and, uh...we will be leaving shortly. Dr. Chesser is going to come in here and do a final check up on you and we will be gone.” I nodded. Billie Joe stood up. He went to pat my shoulder but I scooted away, not wanting to be touched by anyone, even him. He closed his hand and brought it back down to his side.
“I’m going to call Adrienne and tell her that we will be coming home and give you some privacy.” I nodded, still not looking at him. He nodded once before leaving the room. It’s hard to find out that a father who I thought never wanted me is back into my life but it’s even harder finding out that it is someone famous. Especially as famous as Billie Joe Armstrong.