Love is a Dangerous Thing

"I'm really proud of you."

Zack rolled his sleepy eyes as he heard those words as soon as he woke up the next morning. "You're always proud," he mumbled back. He yawned and stretched out before nudging Alex with his head and getting the older boy to lay on his back so he could lay half on top of him. "What're you proud for?"

"The Jack thing, obviously." Zack tensed up but only barely, he was a little proud of himself too now that he thought about it. "I thought you were gonna freak out, you seemed really scared but once we got home you were fine."

"Was just scary but we're safe here."

"Yeah, but you were really scared," Alex stressed. "Like wouldn't open your eyes or stop shaking scared and then I put you in bed and you just stopped, it was sort of weird."

Zack shrugged with a tired smile, "it's definitely interesting but me feeling safe in my own bed isn't that weird."

"I love you." Zack rolled his eyes for a second time at the over excited, too happy voice of his boyfriend. "I love you so, so, so much."

"I like when you like me, it feels nice."

Alex rolled over quickly, surprising Zack who was still half asleep, with a wide grin he hovered just above Zack's face. "You must feel nice all the time then, yeah?"

"Mhmm," Zack swallowed nervously and shifted around a little under Alex who raised an eyebrow at him.

"What's a matter buddy?" Alex whispered innocently, smirking as Zack opened and closed his mouth without a good reply a few times. "Thought you felt comfortable in your own bed?"

"A-A-Alex," Zack shut his eyes, his heart felt like it would explode and not in a good way and he breathed as if the process was foreign to him. "S-stop."

He felt Alex lay down on top of him and he pushed at his shoulder until he took the hint and moved away from him completely. He whimpered a few moments later when Alex reached out to touch his shoulder and jerked away from the touch.

"Hey, calm down Zacky, I'm not gonna do anything you don't want me to." Zack opened his eyes to try and relieve some of the guilt he could hear in the other's voice, it wasn't fair to make him feel bad just because he'd never be ready for anything. "I'm sorry buddy, I misread the situation, that's on me, okay? You didn't do anything wrong."

"N-no one's ever k-kissed me," he closed his eyes again with that confession. "I won't be good at it."

"Shh, don't worry about that buddy," Alex wrapped am arm around him and laid his head on his chest like how they usually slept, humming softly. "Tell me when you feel calmer and then we can talk."

Zack took his time with calming down because he didn't really want to talk. After a minute he was pretty much back to his normal breathing and heart rate but he held off on saying anything. A few minutes later he sighed and opened his mouth to tell Alex he was okay to talk. Alex sat up but Zack decided not to follow suit and stayed laying down, pulling the covers up higher around him while he waited.

"Sorry I scared you," Alex started, running a hand idly over the blanket resting on Zack's chest. Even despite having a thick blanket, a sheet, and a shirt between himself and Alex's hand Zack shivered slightly and he could tell Alex did his absolute best not to laugh. "You're so cute sometimes and you were being all confident and adorable, I just thought you'd be the same way if I pushed just a little more. Are you mad at me?"

"No," Zack smiled softly, again to calm Alex more than anything else. "You can lay down again if you want, I won't flinch," he paused for a second and then smiled more. "I'll probably flinch, you make me really nervous."

Alex grinned and laid back down, keeping a safe distance between them, "wanna play the guessing game?"

"Yeah, I love that game."

"I know you do," Alex sat up again and pulled Zack into his side, wrapping both arms around his waist. "Okay, my first guess is that you think I'll be mad if you don't let me kiss you pretty soon."

"You do seem mad."

"I'm not mad, I'm anxious," Alex explained. "I know you've never kissed anyone but I've never kissed you and I sort of want to get it over and done with. First kisses are alright but second and third kisses are way better because you don't have to worry as much."

"Guess again."

"You're worried about more stuff?" Alex raised an eyebrow and Zack shrugged.

"I'm always worried."

"Are you worried about Jack?" Zack nodded. "Yeah, me too, I don't like when you have to see him. I won't let him hurt you though and even as stupid as he is I think at some point he'll realize it's not worth getting punched just to insult you."

"Will you, will you help me with the other thing?" Zack asked because all he was really thinking about was how badly he could screw up a kiss. He messed up lots of things that came natural to other people and he had a feeling kissing would be no different.

"Of course, buddy, I'm not gonna let your first kiss be a miserable experience," Alex promised. "I'm gonna make sure you're as happy as possible with the whole thing no matter how long it takes."

"Maybe the first one should be miserable." Zack sat up more and looked seriously at Alex who seemed confused by the suggestion. "You said first kisses are never as good as second ones so maybe we could get it over with now and say it's just practice and then we can pretend the second one is our real first kiss and we won't have to worry about it."

"A practice kiss, that's genius," Alex grinned. "Do you wanna practice now?"

"Won't it hurt your jaw?" Zack reached out and traced the bruise for the millionth time.

"Kissing you will be too wonderful to ever hurt anything," Alex gently moved his hand away from his face and repeated his question. "Do you wanna practice now?"

Zack felt his face turn a bright red but he nodded despite his nerves. His heart beat was too fast and his body shook just slightly as Alex leaned in, he tried to let it happen, he really, really tried but at the last second he pulled away. "I'm gonna mess up, this was a bad idea, I wanna throw up or break up."

"Zack," Alex sighed and grabbed one of Zack's hands, placing it over his heart. "Do you feel that?"

"It's fast," Zack nodded. "It's really fast."

"Right because I'm nervous too but we're not throwing up and we're certainly not breaking up, okay?" Zack nodded again with the same slightly terrified expression. "We're not gonna do any of that, I'm gonna show you exactly what we're gonna do. First I'm gonna lean in like this," Alex demonstrated, slowly leaning in until their faces were just barely inches apart. "And then I'm gonna take my hand and put it on the back of your head to hold you still because you're shaking a little bit." Again Alex did as he said and Zack tensed up considerably when he felt Alex's thumb gently stroke his hair. "I'm gonna put my other hand right here, over your heart, and I'm gonna make sure it doesn't beat too fast because I'll be very upset if you pass out."

"Th-thanks," Zack tried to force a laugh but it came out as more of a whimper.

"And always I'm gonna look in your eyes and I'm gonna ask "is this okay, baby," because I never want to do anything you don't want me to. So, is this okay, baby?" Zack nodded his head as best as he could while his whole body felt like it might shut down completely and Alex smiled at him. "Good, then I'm gonna lean in a little more and I'm gonna kiss you."

Zack closed his eyes at the last second and his body didn't completely shut down when Alex's lips pressed against his but it came pretty damn close. It felt like when Alex's bare feet would brush against his but a million times more intense until he thought he really would pass out and he had to pull away to keep his heart from bursting. His breathing was fast like he'd run a mile and he couldn't help the goofy smile on his lips.

"Show me more," he said when he could breathe again. "I want to get really good at that."

"Okay," Alex laughed. "I'm gonna move my lips a little this time, just follow my lead, okay?"

Zack nodded and quickly leaned back in letting Alex hold his head still again and closing his eyes as Alex pressed their lips together for the second time. He did his best to follow along and move his lips against Alex's in what he hoped was the right way. It was a short exchange maybe fifteen seconds of their lips brushing together over and over but when it was over Zack found himself whining a little and wanting more.

"More?" Alex asked and Zack opened his eyes and nodded eagerly. Alex of course obliged and leaned back in to kiss him again but quickly pulled away with a grin. "I don't think we can call this "just practice" anymore."