Dream Before You Sleep

And in the end we all fall and we never get back up because of the tremendous pressure on our backs. The pressure of all the pain and doubt. The pressure because of the hurt we have experienced and caused. The souls of all the ones we have wronged weigh us down and I have wronged many. When I finally let this wasted body disintegrate I shall have to face all of the dead and starving that were made by my actions. And yet I did them and I did them with good intentions. Maybe this was meant to be but I trust nothing to fate. Fate is a devilish fiend if you trust in her too well. She can lead you astray when she is not even there beside you. You can be feeling your way blind in the darkness when you think you feel her guiding hand on your shoulder ... but it is just the phantom of her touch after her hand has been withdrawn. She can lead you to wants and fears of magnitudes never before known in your life even when you know it is wrong. She can treat humans as puppets and marionettes. Nothing is more dangerous than an invisible power that can guide you through life on the good path that you want to be on or withdraw completely and let you simply stumble through in the dark not knowing how many people you are hurting just by believing that what you are doing is good and meant to be. I know this very keenly for I have not been able to simply shut my eyes and let it escape my notice. I cannot simply not notice it if it has lead me here or left me to drag myself here. Here, to this room and this house. Here to you my child. Bad things will happen in our lives and you cannot escape that. But those things are not determined by fate. She determines only what obstacles you will come to face if you choose one path or another. Do not believe that you cannot change the hand of fate and she has stayed it. For, sometimes she will pity a soul that really needs help and bring an opportunity your way. Do you know why I am here with you today? Neither do I my child. But I am glad that I am. There are many scenarios that could have passed if I had chosen a different path that would have resulted in you and I both not being here. But here we are. Now I must leave you for I am tired and must sleep. Choose your path carefully and never think that you are helpless. And try as hard as you can not to sleep before you have dreamed.