With My Life in Her Hands

"Isla?"

I stand in shock at my visitor. What is she doing here? She's supposed to be anywhere but here.

Isla sauntered towards me as if she had all the time in the world with her long curls bouncing with every step.

"Is that all you have to stay? You're not going to introduce to your new friend?"

"Isla, meet my friend Willow. Willow this is...Isla."

My voice sounds lighter as if I'm not even in the room. No one is supposed to be here. This is my trial, my escape and not even Isla should be 'visiting'.

Isla steps toward me and is close enough that can see the green undertones in her eyes.

"Poor Briar, all by herself. I decided to give you a surprise visit."

Soft lips kiss the corner of my mouth and I recoil in shock.

I am speechless.

Isla was always a flirt. I can't believe she's here though. One of the best of us is here in a small town where a man dying isn't big news is dangerous. The first were scorned women so we've always been either wary or loathe them.

"Should I go?" A small inaudible voice bounced.

"No," my voice comes out too loud and I wince at the volume.

"No," I say again quieter. "I didn't invite Isla. I invited you," my voice gets softer as I see Willow.

"I've come all this way though," Isla pours and I feel her head laying on my shoulder.

Willow shook her head obviously disagreeing by the wrinkles of her eyebrows.

"I should go," Willow says again and her voice wavers a little. "Come see me when you're done."

I'd rather the door slam than shut so quietly that it seemed the kind Wiccan was never here.

"And then there were two," Isla mocks and smiles at me but I'm anything but pacified.

"Why are you here? You never cared before," I refuse to be cornered in my own space.

"Relax," Isla tries to sooth me and raises her hands in surrender.

"How can I relax?" I retort angrily. "You've violated my space, unwelcome, and managed to make my one friend uncomfortable."

I exhale loudly to signify my frustration.

Turquoise eyes look at me and it's hard to look away when they follow me everywhere.

"What are you doing here?" I continue exasperated and gaze at Isla the whole time. "You know the rules," I added.

Isla laughed and it sounded genuine not bitter.

"Does that mean I'm not welcome?" Her shocked tone almost makes me want to smile.

"Yes," I say clearly not looking away. "You've done wrong," I look away and wish that Willow would come though that door and make me feel better but chances are, I'm going to have to tell now.

"You're right," Isla sighs and backs away giving me the distance I was looking for. "I just wanted to see you. Is it so hard to think I'd miss you?"

"Yes," I exclaim my voice quieter but no less exasperated. "The last time I saw you, did you not say I was never your friend? Tell me you did not call me half breed and only speak to me when the others refused."

Like a flower without sunlight, Isla wilts under my accusations.

"I have finally found myself a friend and you dare run Willow run. Tell me why I should listen to any word you say," I refuse to be alone in this world and the supernatural visits were not endearing.

"I am sorry," Isla sounds at the very least apologetic. "Those insults were spoken in anger. It is my fault. Will you accept my apology?"

I nod still tense but more relaxed than when I first saw her in my room.

Isla's posture and mannerisms loosen to what I remember before my adventure began.

In a couple seconds, flames of hair are the only indication Isla was ever in front of me and not sitting on my bed.

"Your bed smells of her," Isla comments bouncing slightly on the mattress.

"Isla," I warn.

It seems like she has already forgotten what my quarrel was with her. This redhead is far more wild, untamed and with hair the color of rubies is trying to make herself at home in mine. Maybe to some others, Isla would seem a better choice. They wouldn't know Willow though. They wouldn't understand her quietness, babbles or her metamorphic fawn eyes and almost strawberry blonde hair.

I would rather have Willow.

"What are you going to tell her?"

I stare at the sheets that we both laid on yesterday and sigh.

"The truth. I think she's already suspecting," I confess as if it's a grievous sin.

"Why?"

"She is my friend and I don't like lying to her. If our kind keep coming, Willow should know."

I'll go visit her now. I don't want Willow to presume I'm taken. I don't want her to question what she is to me either. I never want to lie to Willow.

I grab a sweater and run to the door.

Before the door slams, I tell Isla to not leave this room.

I run full speed to Willow's dorm room. The night is never safe in Sunnydale. As my birthday approaches, I get faster, stronger and more powerful with every day that passes. It is this confidence that lessens my chances of being eaten.

I remember Willow's dorm is near the big park area and slow down once I see a familiar building. The hallways are empty and it's still very quiet here. If I didn't know better, I'd think the Gentlemen were back but the humans are probably drinking and partying tonight.

The flights of stairs allow me time to think of what to say.

Willow, I am not fully human.

Willow, Isla is an acquaintance and nothing more.

Willow, I like you.

As long as something like those sentences come out, I imagine my stomach will stop twisting and turning.

It is too soon that I reach a familiar white door.

I knock quickly but firmly.

It doesn't take long for an answer.

The door swings open and my sickness becomes more severe knowing what I must do.

Wide almost hazel eyes watch me from the doorway and I attempt to smile but my cheeks fall.

"May I enter?" I ask hesitantly biting a full lip.

"I don't know what you are."

I look up confused at the random comment.

Here we are sitting on her bed. It's small like mine but with matching sheets. I stop fidgeting at her voice and take a deep breathe. I exhale and try to speak.

"I am Briar. I am your friend." I keep my eyes on Willow to watch her reaction.

"It's more than that," Willow disagrees and her eyebrows are pulled down again and I don't like how she purses small lips at the sight of me.

"I don't like that other girl," she continues and Willow's face draws tighter. "I don't like that slutty I-can-kiss-whoever-I-want girl. I don't like She-Devil," she rants.

"I just can't forget her kissing you. It wasn't a friend peck either. It was she's-mine- kiss and I don't like that."

"I'm not understanding," my lips pull down and I already feel apologetic that poor Willow has to rephrase all of this.

Willow takes a deep breathe away from me and releases it. Then she turns to me face to face.

"You're different from my other friends. There was only one I ever felt like this about when someone kissed them. It's different because I'm you know boys' town and now I'm suddenly wanting to kiss a new close friend."

Willow looks so honest now that I almost feel like my voice would ruin everything should I speak.

I can't help wanting to see what a real kiss is like.

"You can if you want," my voice wavers even at almost a whisper and I feel like I'm made of stone.

"Are you sure? Even after Ms. Slutty She-Devil?" I can't move but somehow manage to nod my head.

I release a shaky breath as Willow's face comes closer into view. Her skin is more like peaches than ivory up close. I can see and count the numerous freckles so light that hide on her nose and cheeks. Most of all, I can't stop noticing how Willow's eyes put me in a thrall that I don't want to escape from.

A warm hand steadies my trembles and I can't decide if that'll help or feeling Willow will make it worse.

"It's okay. It's just me," she whispers tenderly before soft pink lips touch mine.

It's gentle and what I need right now. Our lips brush together once, twice and then I feel our heads tilt to get closer. There is no tongue in this kiss. It's my first kiss and something that scares me and makes me euphoric at the same time. The slender hand cups my cheeks and pushes me closer.

I can see why humans enjoy this so much.

As we kiss, only three things pop into my mind.

I wish my skin was softer.

I wish I was more experienced.

I wish she'd never stop kissing me.

All good things come to an end though and we reluctantly pull away.

"I don't know what you are but you mean a lot to me," Willow whispers to me and it seems like a secret only for us.

I can feel my cheeks flush and then pale at what I have to do.

"Do you know me?" My voice is almost completely silent.

"I don't know what you are. I think you're human," Willow does a small chuckle and I don't join but pull away.

"Define human."