With My Life in Her Hands

"I miss Buffy," Willow murmurs.

I don't say a word.

Rosy short hair is in my grasp and I am too happy to feel it's softness.

It is so silky that it slips though my fingers like water.

"We never hang out anywhere," Willow continues from my lap. "She's always busy with her new boyfriend and the Initiative. I get it's all exciting to have new friends but the old ones are here too," she draws out extra o's in the last word.

I smile down at Willow's face.

"I'm sure it's just temporary," I reassure her still trying to soothe the Wiccan with my caresses. "The Initiative seems very militaristic so she's probably just helping them relax."

Willow gives out a small sigh.

"I'd be so lonely without you," she suddenly says. "Can I be honest?"

"I'll make a promise to you," I say instead of a definite yes." Whenever you're in my lap, no lies can escape those lips so yes you can be honest."

I continue to caress Willow's hair and feel the tension gradually leaving.

"When I played poker with Xander and Anya last night, I felt so left out," she confides." Xander was my first friend but he's with Anya. I don't love Xander like that anymore," Willow is quick to reassure me. "He has all these inside jokes with Anya I don't have and now I'm a third wheel. I'm not a bike! I'm like a brand spanking new car! You know with the new car smell and with the four wheels? Speaking of spanks, they spank!"

"Each other?" I ask and am so shocked I stop petting Willow.

"Hey," she whines and those rare fawn eyes look into mine." I didn't say stop with the touches! I like the Briar touch!"

"Poor Willow!" I coo her resuming my caresses." What can I do to make it before?"

"Kiss me," she says smiling wide and I can see every alabaster tooth. Her eyes crinkled at the corners with enflamed hair surrounded Willow's hair and now I need to kiss Willow.

I aim for Willow's lips and feel velvet smooth lips glide against mine.

It's the first time I have controlled our kiss and I feel a thrill go up my spine.

Willow makes a whining sound at my slowness and then I feel a slender hand push me closer.

Kissing Willow is kind of like drowning

I feel surrounded on all sides but don't want to move.

I want to drown in Willow.

Willow reluctantly pulls back and I place one last kiss on her lips; a peck really.

"You're getting good at this," she praises me breathless and I smile.

"I had a great teacher," I say still smiling,

Willow says nothing but looks at me and it makes me wonder what she's seeing.

I almost want to bring back up meeting some of her friends when Willow finally speaks.

"You can meet them," she says a little more easily. "Soon. I promise. It's just hard to get everyone at the same place at the same time."

I grin with a closed mouth at the concession.

"I understand," I say with the same gentle grin. "You just want to find the right time."

Willow nods eagerly smiling.

"You get me so much," the Wiccan looks in absolute bliss as she raises herself to kiss me,

I feel small pink lips kiss the corner of my mouth.

"I can wait," I see and see the thin emerald outline in the iris of mostly fawn colored eyes. "As long as you need, I can wait."

"Forever?" Willow questions and now I have a feeling we're no longer talking about me meeting with the Scoobies.

"Forever."

On the left hand corner of my desk is a box.

It is wooden and still shone a bright copper like a brand new penny. White flowers are painted on its surface at random to create a heirloom that is priceless.

It is priceless because it was hers.

My mother must have loved me if she left me her childhood box of treasures.

I am gentle opening the box yet it still creams in age.

Inside, my things are in the same place as when I moved in.

It's amazing how a box half the size of my pillow can fit so many important objects.

My fingers thin and long are careful looking for this one gift.

I feel something hard and edged and take a look.

The off white color confirms that I've found what I'm looking for.

It's the doll's eye crystal.

Doll's eye crystals are exceedingly rare.

They're used to magnify power in spells.

Considering what Willow does on a daily basis, she needs this one more than me anyway.

I knew I had a couple with me.

I study it intently looking for any fractures that could potentially put Willow at risk.

Pleased to not have found one, I hurry out the room to find Willow.

The grass yields to my weight easily and I feel the tickle of each strand.

The sun is painting Willow's hair the most beautiful shade of reddish blonde and making her glow in a way that no other should be capable.

"Briar, what am I doing here?" Willow asks with a slight smile." You know I love our time because hello us together," her voice heightens as if it is dreadfully obvious. "-but you being all secret girl is making my tummy feel all icky."

I blush a little even though I know we like being together because it's nice hearing the Wiccan say it.

"I have a surprise for you," I begin staring into familiar almost hazel eyes.

"Is it a gift? I like gifts. You didn't have to get me one but I'm so happy you did, Now I feel kinda bad I didn't cause hey who doesn't like presents?"

Willow leans closer to the point that her head is nearly in my lap.

"You won't see it until you close your eyes," I warn moving my occupied hand so she can't see what's inside it.

The almost strawberry pouts but shuts her eyes.

"Give me your hands and no peaking," the sternness of my words is almost nonexistent because even I can hear the smile in my voice.

Two cream and rose hands move towards me palms up.

As I gently maneuver the crystal into Willow's hands, I cant help myself from kissing her still pouting mouth.

I like how eager she is to kiss back,

Pearl pink lips and mine meet until our smiles make kissing impossible.

Willow opens her eyes and smiles brightly at me before looking down.

"Is this what I think it is?" her eyes are glued to the crystal in her hands.

"It would depend on what you think," I answer honestly. "It's not just a rock but based on your reaction, I think you know that."

"How did you find this?" her eyes finally look back up to see me.

"In my room."

"I cant take it then," Willow shakes it head and tried to pass the crystal back to me.

"No," I say stubbornly. "You are doing this whole thing wrong. I give you a gift then if you like it, you thank me and we hug. You can't just give it back that's rude."

The expression on my face must make Willow rethink her decision but she still asks,

"No givsies backsies?"

"If that means you can't give it back, then yes," I say resolutely. "If it makes you feel better, Eura has given me at least three more."

"Three?"

"Yes. I could've sworn you understood," my eyebrows furrow of their own accord. "Eura is very divided about me. Sometimes she wants me suffocatingly close and others Eura seems to want me to disappear. To make up for it, she gives me things...rare things."

"Why do you want me to have one?" Willow inquires staring straight at me as if I could ever lie to her.

"I care about you. This crystal will help keep you safe and that's why it's yours now. I wil warn you though: if I find that crystal back in my dorm, I will take it as a personal insult."

She smiles at me a big wide one that is rare to see on Willow's face.

"Guess I have to keep it then," the Wiccan teases. "Do you want that hug now?"

I nod and feel my hair bob with me.

She scoots closer until our knees touch.

Slender arms hold onto me tight primarily around my waist and I love the sensation.

I return the hug as best as I can smiling about touching Willow.

"Thank you," she murmurs and I shiver feeling the warm breath on my bare shoulders.

I could get used this gift thing.