With My Life in Her Hands

No The Wiccan group doesn't seem very magical at all.

There are couches and chairs all gathered in a circle. There were no more chairs for me so I sit on the ground with my legs tucked beside me.The carpet is a dark shade of beige that seems dull against my skin. It scratches what skin it contacts and makes me uncomfortable. The jeans most girls wear are either too loose for me to wear or too hugging to my legs. My skirt offers my legs no protection.

Here I sit right in between Willow's legs. My shoulder blades when not covered in hair allow the soft texture of Willow's skirt to touch. Maybe denim is not so bad after all. I cuddle in closer to the chair to chase the softness that touches my skin. I can feel Willow's eyes watching me move but don't look back. Normally I feel alone when these people stare but this time I don't. It's a welcome change.

One girl introduces a prayer. Her hair is frizzy looking like my own texture when I don't roller set. Is t ha t normal? Her hair is red much like Willow's but isn't as shiny and a shade darker: almost auburn. Willow's is a much prettier shade that glows a dark strawberry blond in Sunnydale sunlight.

All the girls shut their eyes including Willow as the other girl begins.

I keep mine open so I won't miss a thing.

"We come together, daughters of Gaia, sisters to the moon."

Is this how all prayers begin?

"We walk with the darkness: the wolf at our side."

A wolf? Seriously? Aren't Wiccans supposed to take power from the earth? I look up at Willow shocked and her eyes are glances at the prayer girl in disbelief. I watch her eyebrows furrow incredulously.

"Through the waterfall of power: to the blackest heart of eternity."

Willow's left eyebrow lifts and I watch her glance around as if to ask if everyone thinks this is real. The other girls faces are relaxed as if praying along.

I look up at Willow and shake my head disappointed. This not magic. This is lies. This is a waste of time. The same unique wholeness of our eyes are still there from the hallway. They have darkened in disbelief but still are a brown I've ever found outside: gentle but wild. We stare throughout the rest of the prayer but I don't know what we were looking for.

After prayer, the first words out of the girls mouth confuse me.

"Let's have a bake sale. I make an empowering lemon bunt," the prayer girl announces proudly.

What is a bunt? What is a bake sale? How can anyone eat lemons?

"I don't know. We need to focus on spreading the message to the sisters. By the way, whose scented candles melted all over my women power shrine?" A girl with long straight brown hair inquires and looks around as if to blame someone.

Willow's disappointment is so thick I feel like I can touch it.

Willow seems not have given up yet. Her mouth lifts in the same grin that exposed two dimples in the hallway.

"Well, this good. This is all fun," I wonder if she's just trying to be nice. I'm not having fun at all.

"Yeah, but there's also other stuff we can be doing that's interesting like spells, transmutation..." the smile waivers when Willow sees she has no support.

Without thinking, my mouth opens.

"Yes, I would like to try those," my accent stands out even more against Willow's. My voice seems almost too husky and too soft at the same time. The way I've spoken brings some warmth to my face. I feel a hand squeeze my shoulder and Willow smiles that same grim at me happy that I spoke up.

The prayer girl with the auburn like hair is the first to speak.

"We don't believe in stereotypes," her tone is anything but kind. Her dark eyes are annoyed and dull glaring at me.

"Do you expect us to try to fly on broom?" The redhead continues and I feel Willow almost recoil as if hit.

The straight haired one is kinder in rejection.

"If even one of the sisters aren't balanced, it could throw off the whole circle."

"They do not know magic," I whisper and it's do quiet Willow only hears as I can tell by the other squeeze on my shoulder.

"I would like to go," I announced trying to sound as clear as possible.

"I came here for help not lemon bunt," I added looking straight at the prayer redhead and her expression is shocked.

"I am sorry, Willow. I cannot stay," I smile gently at her trying to show Willow the kindness she has shown me.

"I would like to keep speaking through," I finish talking and rise quickly.

Willow rises with me and I realize I am a little taller than her.

"Would you like me to help? I mean not that you're not able to help yourself-"

"I would like that. Yes," I interrupted.

We both leave the group room and I can hear the silence in there with our every step.

"That was...wow," Willow suddenly explodes. "Only a couple people have ever done that for me before. Not like that happens a lot. I mean I can stand up for myself. It's just nice sometimes when other people do it too. So yeah it's of the good."

I am distracted when the rays of the sun get in my eye. I close them on instinct. It doesn't burn but it isn't comfortable either.

"You are welcome?" I question. "They are not nice. They don't know magic."

"I am disappointed though. I wanted to work on my magic but...." Willow sighed and shrugged her shoulders messing with the shoulder bag strap.

Willow is captivating. She looks at the floor and her pale skin still highlights the red of her hair. The wisps of her red hair that escaped the brush look almost golden. I almost didn't want to leave but the sunlight was trying on me so I had to.

"I must go. Meet me for lunch at the cafe say 11? We can talk about doing magic together," I say trying to sweeten the deal.

Willow really smiles at me for the first time and it makes her whole face brighten.

"See you there," I start leaving at the confirmation to my dorm. I need my water soon.

"Goodbye!" I exclaim before I'm out of hearing distance.