With My Life in Her Hands

I don't like the night in Sunnydale. It is too dangerous for me. I block the windows in my dorm with dark heavy fabric. I liked it at the store. It was soft but dark night to mimic night without going outside. The white bulbs are bright in my room so the light is normally off. I don't need that much light now.

The disturbing men from my vision won't leave. The siren song of the little girl plays like the weird machine's that keep playing. Textbooks are already back in my bag: homework and studying done for now at least for school.

With one arm I reach under my bed to grab 'the book'. I have never known its title. It belonged to family and now it is mine. The pages have yellowed in age and a torn blue ribbon is sewn into the spine. The leather is not as soft as Willow's skirt but now as hard as the Wicca group carpet.

'The book' is mostly about the dangers to us. Each page filled for information on what kills us and what does not. We are not slayers after all. There are brief descriptions. The pages make an annoying sound as I flip through. The song still playing in mind is too loud not to mutter.

Can't even shout Can't even cry . The Gentlemen are coming by

Looking through Windows

.

Knocking on doors . They need to take seven . And they might take yours . Can't call to Mom . Can't say a word You're gonna die screaming But you won't be heard

Just as my singing stops, I land on the 'men' from my vision. Their name is written in bold cursive with letters reminiscent of religion. There is a large painting on the left revealing the grotesque face of the Gentlemen. The sickly pale skin and black eyes disturb me more than ever. People are supposed to be beautiful but they are anything but.

I read the script of an ancestor revealing some of The Gentlemen's secrets. They are supposed to be stories but doesn't every myth come from a hint of truth? She talks of stolen hearts and how the near impossibility to kill. Is that all? Voices make them explode. That is okay. She did not write of them taking our voices so I am fine, right?

A stray thought filled with Willow comes in my head. Tomorrow we will meet and have lunch. I think she is a friend so I will warn her to stay inside. A smile tugs at my lips and it feels funny. I rub my face and apply the ribbon to my place before closing' the book'.

I am not as strong as the others yet so my eyes close without my permission.

_________________________________________________________________________

My eyes open to a little glow of the Sun escaping from my curtain. I hurriedly reach for my water bottles and stuff them inside my bag also. I have no one to share the room so I am alone. People brush their teeth here and apply smell goods so I grab my bag of toiletries.

The people here are oddly quiet today. I don't hear a sound. Don't demons only come out at night? The minty toothpaste tastes good but I still spit it out in the sink. It is not good for me. I hurriedly grab a shower before another girl can take it.

The lukewarm shower is as hot as I can take right now. My hair can not get wet now so I might have clipped on my head. Still some escaping strands are victim to the rainfall of the shower head. I grab my towel because humans don't like nudity and hurry back to my room with my toiletry bag.

The set from two days ago is wearing thin but still form Pringles against my face. Here, you must try to look your best. It is a trying fact to remember. I hardly wear what they call 'makeup'. It is much like gunk to me on people I've seen faces. Eyeshadows in bright colors and lips painted purple are not my thing.

I need to hurry to class to get a good seat next to Willow. Where does she sit anyway? I shake my head and continue dressing. I grab my flats from yesterday and my bag with a hand already clasping a water bottle.

No one is still up. If they are, no one is loud enough to be heard other than whispers and sniffles. A machine is playing nearby and the words are important when I hear education. I listen closer and find that all schools aren't in session until further notice. I hurry to the library to find more about the Gentlemen.

The books there don't smell dusty. They have a variety that I have never known before. There is no one to be found in the library. It takes me a while to find out where the magic books are and that is when I am glad that I am strong because every book is thicker than my arms. The books here are heavy with knowledge and I check out a book of voice spells to take away the Gentlemen.

I finish just in time. I hurry to the cafe so I won't be late. I want a friend. I want to be friends with Willow. She is nice and smart and fair....

I buy us both sodas, chips and cookies. I grab a table near the entrance to the cafe and wait.

And wait.

And wait.

And wait.

The pitying looks get to me after an hour. I have seen no hair of the wiccan from yesterday. I am very disappointed. Without my consent, my full lips tug into a pout in rejection and my eyes become a little less clear. It is clear now that she is not coming and I can feel the other students watching me leave. I am less embarrassed knowing not as many people saw me waiting so long.

I decide though that Willow still needs to know about the Gentlemen if only for her kindness.

My bag is heavy with textbooks so I drop them off at the dorm. My desk is already covered with previous notes from last night. I drop my textbooks and put my Gentlemen notes in the spell book.

If I hurry, I might be able to find Willow's dorm. The student directory sat in my chair so I grabbed it. I tried to rmember her last name.

"Willow, Willow Rosenberg. Not like I'm James Bond but yeah..."

I hurry up and write Willow's house name and dorm number on my hand. If I hurry, I won't need to fight. I close the door behind speed walking out of the dormitory. Wiccans are connected to the earth and its magic so she can help. Sunnydale might not be home but I do not want innocents hurt.

Every step I take outside is a struggle. The moon is full and a glaring white against the sky: a hunter's moon. There is no sound from my flats against the ground they are so light. Outside I feel like prey so I am as quiet as possible. I have not spoken all day and it's pivotal that I don't now. No other person is out on campus tonight which leaves my stupidity as clear as the water I drink.

The sound of limping and chains make me stop approaching the dorm of Willow. I tilt my head in curiosity. Whose holding chains? Is someone being attacked? I turn around to help and are faced with monstrosities known as 'The Gentlemen' and their minions.

Long sleeves drag against the ground as the minions limp and run toward me. The Gentlemen with their white faces and skeletal bodies levitate toward me. I open my mouth to scream my attack but nothing escapes. My voice has been taken as well. I flip the minion closest to me who dared to grab my arm. I twist my arm to the pint where it should break and watch his arm become limp in uselessness. His face is too close showing skin colored orange and scarred with no eyes nor mouth.

I run as fast as I can toward the closest dormitory. Each door is locked and shut tight so I pound as hard as I can for sanctuary. No one opens. I switch from door to door bruising my knuckles. Was the vision a warning of my death? Can my mixed heritage really be what kills me in the end?

Another minion runs towards me and I kick it away. In true visibility of my strength, it busts into a wall and plaster falls to the ground. I run harder up the stairs just not even sweating it. They can only be killed with a human voice but if I'm dead, Willow won't get the spell. Each door refuses to open. They are too scared. I shake my head in fear and try to stay ahead of my pursuers,

The third floor almost brings the same disappointment. My knuckles have started bleeding in desperation for sanctuary leaving crimson marks on each door I knock. I can't give up now but I am losing hope. Each door brings another disappointment from humanity. They leave their own to die. They want me to die.

My lungs are now burning from the excessive run. I do not see her until it's too late Our collision is hard and painful. I see the beautiful shade of sunny red hair before I land hard on the ground on my arm. My mouth is open in a silent scream as the pop of my shoulder indicates a dislocated shoulder. I struggle to lean up to see my supposed rescuer and see it's Willow. Our mouth is open in a groan that won't come and she clutches her ankle in pain. I can already her the chains closing in and Willow is crawling away from them.

I grab her close with my good arm half carrying her up the next set of stairs. She grasps my good should in support. Willow opens a supply closet door. She hobbles to the washing machine still clutching her bad ankle. I lean against the door trying to prevent the Gentlemen from busting in. My stupidity has been Willow at risk and I can barely look at her now in my guilt. There is a soda machine nearby and I hurry to it pushing against it. It moves but would take too long to get to the door. My shoulder aches with my heartbeat but I can't let an innocent die because of me.

I stop about to quit when the soda machine wobbles on its own. What? Without thinking,I turn to Willow in confusion. Her unique eye are darker now in concentration and auburn brows are furrowed. Willow's teeth are clenched as she pushes her power out but to no avail.

I hobble toward her now. Flats are not made to run in and now my feet ache as well. My eyes water in guilt and despair at what I've done. I have single handedly managed to kill us both. I can feel the sting of tears in my eyes. We are seated next to each other. I bite my lips and push my shoulder hard. With a loud crack, it's back in place and I have made myself bleed. A feminine hand grasps my shoulder in concern.

My watery hazel eyes meets Willow's and I blink. Slowly each salty tear goes down my face.

I look up at her.

"I'm so sorry," I mouth quietly sobbing. "I didn't mean to."

Lean arms wrap around me and I'm pulled to her chest.

The door knob jingles and we both look toward the soda machine. Suddenly, the soda machine flies toward the door. I stop crying in shock and we both stare each other wondering what's just happened. Willow keeps her arms around and so I stay between them; silent and comforted. I didn't know we had fallen asleep until morning.