With My Life in Her Hands

"So this is Main Street," I marvel at the many small shops along each side of the side walk. There are small stores everywhere I look and not as crowded as I thought. Willow walks close next me: close enough that our shoulders are almost touching with every step we take.

"Yep," Willow chirped. "It's been a while since I just looked around," she pulled her shoulders up and down. I watched Willow's face trying to understand what she was saying. Then Willow turned toward me. She had such an expressive face that I always wanted to see it change into a smile. It didn't seem like it would right now though.

"College has just been so busy. I mean I love it," Willow is quick to reassure the fact. "I mean I'm research girl, study girl, the know it all girl. It's nice having not so easy work but it makes less time for the fun work. You know, the Pump and then the Bronzage. My friends and I can't hang out as much so it's awesome you and I can. My new friend," her bright brown eyes look like a dark shade of amber when Willow smiles brightly at me. My heart races at the sight of it and my stomach turns but the sickly feeling is never bad if Willow's involved.

I look away for a brief instant and see something shine in a window display.

I wander closer to it and see that it's a gemstone: I recognize the brilliant bright blue green shade as aquamarine. The cut isn't something complicated to catch the eye. The shape is like an amulet: a plainly cut oval aquamarine gem encased in a silver holder with a matching chain.

"Hey! Where'd you go?" Willow exclaims and I look in response. "Window shopping means not buying just looking," she insists.

I feel my lips turn downwards at the corners at the remark.

" I don't window shop then," I decide." Can we enter this shop?"

Willow tilts her head to the side and puts a finger near her pink lips and chin. I watch her short red hair move at the turn of her head. Softly colored brown eyes look somewhere to the right ahead of me. It reminds me of the students outside talking and laughing with friends. A deliberate hmmmm sound escapes her mouth and I realize this is teasing.

Friends tease. I like teasing.

"Please," I beg sweetly smiling at the playful Wiccan. "Oh great Willow, please let me go inside."

The facade fades and her eyes turn wide at my begging. Did I do it wrong? There is a bright blush on her cheeks the color of cherry blossoms. It's such a beautiful shade of pink that I can't help wanting to see the color again in the near future.

"O-o-kay," Willow stammers on the word and I wonder what caused it. The notion to find it isn't as strong as the urge to be closed to the kind redhead so I don't look for it.

I smile again at the consent and hold the door open for Willow. She smiles in thanks and I realize the more Willow smiles, the more I want to too.

There is a small woman in the middle of the store. Her hair is the color of freshly colored snow and looks just as fine as its look alike. The woman's back is hunched a little in what I can only guess is old age.

I hear the bell chime at our entrance. The elderly woman turns at the sound and I freeze as I see her eyes. I ignore the lighter footsteps of another woman. Her eyes are the ancient blue of the second generation: an icy blue that used to represent our kind before people were turned and changed our traditional looks. My own eyes lack the clear blue tinge and much like the original are a hazel that looks amber in some lights but sometimes does have a blue tinge. I start to realize that pale shade of blonde is from more than age but species.

I slowly approach the elder woman and gather my courage as I do so. There are not many mixed of our kind and many are barren so I have received mixed views. Some say I am an abomination: undeserving of my bloodline, the closest to the original, and a symbol of their failed fertility. Others say I'm a miracle: our chance of not dying out like most of our cousins.

I decide to speak in English to not draw attention to us.

"Excuse me, I would like to see the aquamarine necklace," my voice is calm but I am anything but. We are rare so I did not expect many of us to be here.

She smiles at me and all of my tension eases.

"I help you," she says in broken English which makes me almost sound like a native. "Wait at count," she points to the counter near the register and I nod gratefully at her behavior.

Sadly, it is near the other who is less kind. Her straight nose raises in the air at the sight of me and I try not to let it bother me. Willow pulls my arm to get my attention and I'm quick to give her the attention she so wants.

"I'll be right back," Willow first says and glances at a display closer to the middle of the store. "I'm going to look for something."

I nod that I understand and she hurries to the display.

"Half breed," I hear the woman in front of me hiss. It brings back memories of running and never being fast enough. It reminds me of being small and hearing the adults say it's a pity I didn't die in infancy. It's the pain of feeling rocks break bone and skin but heal when the heart cannot.

"Do you not hear me?" She almost spits on me this one is so close. "You are filth. You're a waste to our kind. Our standards have fallen too low to allow you to be one of us," I can almost feel this one's hatred in waves.

"Leave humans out of this," I mutter glaring straight at her. My heritage has always been a sore point people liked to poke at but don't bring humanity into this. Willow is human and the sweetest creature I've ever met.

"Don't talk about humans," I warn again. "You go into their world, into their countries and cities to survive. Do not speak I'll of them."

Her eyes flash blue: a warning to back off.

"You already know your place," she guesses and laughs cruelly."You are nothing. You aren't one of us," her voice raises. The last words speak far more truth than I want.

"You are a disgusting half breed that no one will ever want to be here. After all, you're not pure," a mocking laugh escapes her.

I didn't hear Willow until she'd already opened her mouth.

"Hey! Don't you talk about her!" Her normally quiet and sweet voice is raised to shouts. "It's your bigotry that kills! What makes you think you're so much better? Are you mad your cleavage-y sluttiness doesn't have as many followers? Are you mad that you're nothing more than a bully," I've never seen Willow mad but can't even be scared when I know she's angry for me, not at me, defending me.

It only cements the fact that Willow is the best friend I could have ever asked for.

"Let's go," I say quietly. "I do not think we should stay."

Willow harshly nods and turns with a quiet huff to the door.

We made it only three steps before Willow finally blows up about the woman.

"I can't believe it," she says loudly. "Even in 1999, there are still bigots. I mean ridiculous. You're a paying customer and she's all," Willow makes an ugly face to mimic the cashier. "'Half breed' and you're all quiet and..." like a balloon, the anger slowly releases out of Willow like air.

"I am sorry you didn't get to get what you wanted," Willow spoke quietly and looked at straight in my eyes in sympathy.

Before I could answer, the old woman leaves the store. Her hair sways as she moves and seems to almost blind me in the sunlight. It takes her only a few steps to reach us.

She stretches her aged hand towards me and I open my palm to receive. I look down and see the necklace from the window display! I look up shocked and she immediately explains.

" Gift," she struggles. " For family. Cause of stupid girl. No listen. Beautiful hope," Her wise eyes say what her words can't. I am her bloodline. She'll defend me and I'm not disgusting but the opposite. She pats my hand as if I'm made of glass and hobbled back into the door.

Willow peaks into my palm and sees the necklace.

"That's beautiful," she marvels at its brightness entranced by its power. Fawn eyes look back at me and nod. "I understand now why you wanted so bad."

I shake at my head at her reasoning.

"I'll tell why at the dorm. First you wanted to show me a pump," I say not too subtly changing the subject.

Willow laughs and leads the way. ____________________________________________________________________ _____

"Here it is," she practically sang and we were in front of a small almost restaurant. It smelled strongly of sugary treats and bitterness. I wrinkled my nose as the odor of coffee beans assaulted my nostrils.

I quickly try to relax my face. Despite the multitude of smells, the quaint coffee shop is welcoming. Willow ushers me to a table near the window and we both sit down.

"The Pump has the best coffee in Sunnydale. I love to come here with my friends and talk," Willow explains.

"I've never had coffee," I divulge. "It smelled too bitter."

"Oh," Willow leans forward quick to offer a solution.

"It has a lot if options," the redhead reassures smiling.

I lean closer to Willow as I try to explain what I mean.

"I've never had a hot beverage. My bloodline was very old fashioned. If we couldn't grow it, we didn't eat it."

Willow wrinkled her brow in response.

"Well, then do you like cookies?"

"Since leaving, I have found I love cookies especially chocolate ones," I say earnestly.

"I'll order for you then. I'll be back," Willow gets up and heads toward the counter eager to surprise me. I can tell by the smile of her eyes and her excitement reveals how close to amber her eyes really are.

I lean back in the seat to get comfortable. Already I don't water near as much to be out in the sun. The stray rays warm my skin and now I am eager to receive. My curly hair falls into my face and the weight of it I can feel even over my buttoned sweater. I am happy now I pulled some of my hair back so I can see.

Sufficiently warmed, I observe the Pump. It is kind of small for humans fitting maybe forty on a very busy day. The walls are painted a warm shade of white with an almost golden tinge not unlike my skin. My table is smooth and in the shape of a square with two chairs to match.

"Here you go," Willow presents them as if they are mighty gifts. "Coffee for me and hot chocolate for you." She pushes a hot covered cup towards me.

I take gingerly a little afraid of this new experience. The heat feels like it burns my skin but already I can feel my tolerance building. I sniff gently and recognize the fragrance of chocolate.

Oh. I see. The name is the drink. Willow is already drinking the coffee but eyeing my reception to the drink. I pull back the top and take a small sip.

"Hot. Hot. Hot!" I mumble loudly at the searing heat.

Willow immediately drops her drink giggling and half heartedly fans my face.

"You're supposed to blow," her face is stern but her eyes laugh at me.

I nod pouting at the burned layer of skin I feel in my mouth.

"Do you want to try again?" Willow says pushing the cup back towards me.

I groan and let my head fall to the table with a thump.

Willow's laughter makes the burn worth it.