With My Life in Her Hands

"Are you okay?"

Willow seems so miserable. Her eyes are lowered to the floor and I see them slightly glistening. The Wiccan always seems so powerful to me but now I see she is not unbreakable.

Willow now seems as fragile as glass.

The hallway is dark with few windows so there is not much light. The candles have burnt out and it is only my improved eyesight that allows me to see some of the changes to Willow. She must now see maybe my face in black and white. I wonder if the dark is worsening whatever is haunting Willow.

"We can leave," I whisper and Willow's eyes lift slightly off the floor but not into my eyes.

I feel more than see her head shake.

"Do you want to be alone?" I ask hesitantly.

I do not know what to do. How can you heal what you can't see? How can you fix what isn't broken? You cannot. You can only try to help, I suppose.

Another shake of the head almost makes me sigh in relief.

I don't want to leave Willow.

That is when I feel a warm hand grasp my wrist. The hold is gentle as if I could be so easily hurt. I wish I could tell her that with each passing day I change. As each day passes, a tiny bit of what makes my body human disappears.

I almost wonder what will happen when it disappears on my birthday.

A slight tug interrupts my thoughts and I am ashamed for being so selfish. Willow has just been ridiculed and here I am thinking of myself. I imagine I must be a very horrible friend. Willow is my first friend, my only friend, so I need to help make her feel better.

Maybe Willow feels alone. She seemed so excited to see Percy so that would explain it, right? Willow said herself her friends have been busy and that they couldn't hang out with her. It seems to make sense because that's how I've always felt until I met Willow.

She makes everything better.

I escape Willow's grasp as delicately as possible. Willow looks up at the loss of contact and seems so lost. Her eyes are still shining and her mouth is still pouting and I wish I had done more because Willow reminds me of me before her and it makes my heart hurt. I feel so cold when she is like this so I try to get us warm.

I decide to try to 'hold' Willow like how I saw a woman holding a baby to make them stop crying.

I wrap my arms gently around Willow's waist because she is priceless. I hold her tight so she can feel my heartbeat and know she's not alone. I make sure I hold her tight so she knows that I am here and I don't believe a word of what that bastard said. I make sure to stay strong because even the strongest are weak alone.

It takes Willow a few moments to respond.

Then I feel warm hands though the thin cotton around my waist. I feel feminine strong arms around me. There is still no space between us. My heart feels like it's going too fast so I try to breathe and am surrounded by the smell that is uniquely Willow.

I am positive the positive the woman didn't feel like I do holding Willow.

It is very addicting. Now I truly do not understand why people drink. It makes no sense. Why get drunk off of a foul liquid when you could get drunk on Willow?

That is when I feel Willow finally let go. The little tension that was here is calm and I wonder how I thought before was amazing when compared to feeling like I am truly helping. Then it gets infinitely better. I feel a soft weight on my shoulder and look to see shining red hair.

Willow's head is laying on my shoulder.

That is when I hear the first thing she's said since Percy.

"Can we go somewhere more private?"

I can't nod because I don't want to dislodge Willow. I don't want to let go to open a door. We are basically stuck in this hallway unless someone gives in and tries a door. I sigh and hate that must I let go.

Willow unwillingly withdraws and makes a noise of protest that gains my full attention.

"Hey," she complains pouting. "You can't just offer snuggles and take them away. That's like stealing. It's like offering me a cookie and then taking it away and eating it yourself after I said I want it. I want the cuddles and the snuggles and the warm feelings back."

The hug at least has Willow talking again. The whining isn't grating and doesn't annoy me at all. If anything, it makes me want to give her exactly what she wants.

It's just awful I can't do that right now though.

I hold Willow's hand to pacify her. I will be honest: to make me feel better for having to let go. There are multiple doors in this hallway. Why do human's need so many rooms? I walk to the closest door and grasp the knob making sure not to bend it.

I turn the door handle and recoil at the stench.

The room smells strongly of a liquor that makes my nose burn. It is so pungent I am having a hard time smelling anything but that alcohol. How can anyone stomach that stench and still drink it? It is not easing as quickly as the smell of the gentler alcohol downstairs.

Are college students drinking gasoline these days?

There was a consistent pull on my hand that I know was Willow. I allowed her to tug me into the bed. It was larger than in the dorms but not huge. Willow and I are both lithe but still we were almost as close as in the hallway. My nose wasn't burning as much. I was close to Willow, I was helping her feel better.

It seemed perfect until the lights went on.

I couldn't gasp. I couldn't scream. I grabbed Willow and pulled her closer tome almost running to the door. Willow looked behind her and saw just what she had laid up against.

It was a body. He was pale in death and muscular. He was half clothed without shirt. Instead, someone had carved a pentagram into his chest that was body with flayed skin.
__________________________________________________________________________________
I held on tightly to Willow's hands trying to ground myself here with Willow.

Don't think about it.

Don't think about it.

Don't think about it.

I can't stop thinking about it.

"When did you know?"

I stopped staring into the room and looked at Willow.

"When the lights came on," I sighed. " I tried to get us out."

Willow seemed so lost again and this time I didn't know what to do except this. I didn't now what to say or do after what we saw except...

"I'm still here."