I'm an Asshole, Baby.

"You're too nice," my friend and roommate, Dawn Hudson, complained while dropping herself onto the couch. "I would've told her to keep her ass at the back of the line."

"She was 80 years old for god's sake, Dawn," I responded. "That just would've been terrible to do, and if it's any recollection she didn't have that many items."

Dawn and I were in a friendly disagreement concerning me allowing an 80 year old woman to cut ahead of me at the grocery store this morning. Which caused me to arrive to work late. I wasn't scolded by my boss for it, seeing as though I'm never late. However, it's something that I didn't want happening again.

But, it was an old lady, you can't not allow the old lady to cut in front of you. Dawn however didn't exactly agree with this notion.

"Oh c'mon, you were late for work you could've gotten fired," she argued. "All because of Ms. Bengay."

"Do you not like the elderly?" I questioned.

She rolled her eyes. "I have nothing against them, if you haven't noticed, my Grandma's old and I love her," she retorted. "But I'm not gonna be late for work just because she's old."

I walked into our half kitchen, still being able to see Dawn. I grabbed hold of the white wine stashed in the back of the fridge and poured two glasses. I sat beside Dawn, making sure that I had brought along the entire bottle itself.

"Well," I started off, handing her a glass. "I wouldn't have had to go grocery shopping myself if a certain someone--who shall remain name less-- had done it herself."

"Yeah, she sounds like a bitch," Dawn said taking a sip from her glass. I couldn't help but to laugh. "Anything else happen today?"

"Other than Ms. Bengay?" I queried raising an eyebrow.

"Other than Ms. Bengay." She said with a snicker.

"Well," I pondered for a moment, back-tracking today's events. I took a sip at my wine and relaxed myself into the couch. "Well, nothing really. Work was work as always. Ms. Harrison was out sick today so of course I had to watch her classroom. I never knew you could yell: 'Don't eat that' so many times in under 5 minutes."

"You wanted to work with kids," Dawn pointed out. I rolled my eyes. Other than sometimes getting paint and other substances on my clothes, I liked being a teacher's aid. The kids were honestly great. "That's boring, what else happened?"

I snorted. "I'll have you know that Mr. Procter found that to be very funny, thank you, " I said. I took another sip. "Mm--Well, I ran into quite a character today. He was somethin'."

"He?" Dawn was fully and totally interested now because of the grin she was sporting at this very moment. "Details. Details!"

"Alright alright. Calm down."



Lots of times I just tend to eat the lunch from the cafeteria, but, today was definitely not one of those days. I had a peek of what the kids were eating and I was 99.9 percent sure that it most definitely not food. I walked down to the nearest food truck, and it wasn't hard to find one. They were plastered everywhere basically.

I decided on stopping at the taco truck known as "Tiny's Taco's". It looked decent enough for today and I had stopped here before occasionally. I was second in line, behind a tall man with dark brown curls. He was chatting with the truck's owner, Tiny, waiting for his order. When he turned his head to the left I could make out his features. I could also make out the cigarette dangling from his mouth.

"Smoking cigarettes is dangerous, you know." I blurted out to him.

He shifted his body around now facing me. "Hm?" He asked, obviously not hearing me before. The cigarette moved around on his lips when he spoke.

"Smoking cigarettes is dangerous." I repeated.

He chuckled, taking a drag on his cig and tilted his head upward to blow the smoke out. "So's talking to strangers," He said, putting the cigarette back in his mouth. "Didn't your mama tell you not to talk to strangers sweetie?"

"She also told me that Santa Claus was real." I bit back.

"Well I'm no Santa Claus, princess," he said, puffing out his smoke again. I waved my hand in front of my face to fan away the smoke. "But I wouldn't mind visiting you in the middle of the night."

My cheeks puffed themselves out as I felt my face flush, he only laughed. Obviously amused by my embarrassment. He set the cigarette between his teeth when he turned his back to me, collecting his food from, Tiny. He moved himself out of the line walking off, I was now first in line.

I gnawed on my bottom lip, watching his retreating figure saunter away. "If you're not Santa Claus then who are you?" I shouted out to him.

He turned around, walking backwards now. "I'm nobody," He grinned. "I'm just an asshole, baby."

I rolled my eyes along with a huff as I ordered my two taco's from, Tiny. I soon headed back to the school, munching on the food as I did so. Not even knowing that today would not be the last I saw of that 'nobody'.