Love

Six weeks earlier ○ Five weeks pregnant
Lola’s leg is bouncing up and down nervously as she waits for the doctor to call her name. “Are you sure? I mean… if you’re not, we’re just wasting our time here.” Emily mumbles in her ear causing Lola to shoot her best friend an angry look.

“You were with me when I peed on five different sticks, weren’t you?!” Lola hisses as her friend, unable to contain the nerves that are currently running through her body. As much as Emily is afraid of losing her party-buddy, Lola is afraid of losing her whole life.

She’s only twenty-two years old, she’s nowhere near being ready to be a mother and she’s pretty certain Louis isn’t either. Lola always imagined herself becoming a young mother but also had a rule that she wanted to be in a relationship for at least three years before anything like that happened. “And, so, um… are you planning on, you know, um, getting rid of it?”

Lola’s mouth drops as she slowly looks over at her best friend, hoping to find some glimpse of humour on her face – but she’s dead serious. “What?! No!” Lola mumbles, already tearing up causing a little laugh to escape her mouth. “Hormones… already…”

“Lola Scott?” The middle-aged woman calls out and the two girls jump up from their seats immediately. The woman has her hand stretched out by the time they reach the door, Lola quickly grabs the woman’s hand and regrets it as soon as she notices how sweaty her own palms are. “Hello, how are you today?”

Lola sighs nervously but then gives the woman a small smile and a nod before taking a seat at her desk. “Well… you are definitely pregnant. Congratulations!” The woman smiles but her words send chills down Lola’s spine. Something inside her had still hoped that maybe this wouldn’t be true, that somehow those five tests could’ve been wrong.

The chances of getting pregnant while on the pill and using a condom are slim to none, yet somehow Lola and Louis had managed to get it done. And Lola is mentally cursing herself because of it. It’s not that she isn’t ready to be a mother, it’s that neither her life nor Louis’ are stable enough to bring up a kid.

Louis is constantly out on tour, admired by thousands of fans around the world and hardly ever home. The only way Lola is able to see her boyfriend is when she travels across the world for a couple of days in between her studies… studies she might as well give up on right away.

The train ride home seems like the longest thirty minutes of Lola’s life as she’s mentally preparing herself to tell Louis something he might not be pleased with. She’s come up with several scenarios of how things could possibly go when she tells him – from outrageously angry to devastated to delighted to a simple ‘ok’ in response.

When she’s finally home, Lola immediately runs up to her room and stands in front of the mirror. She first looks at her belly, then pulls up her shirt to see if there’s even the slightest bump noticeable already. “Hey you… let’s prepare for this… how are we going to tell your daddy?” She mumbles at her stomach.

“Hey Lou… guess what? You’re gonna be a dad!” She says, throwing her arms in the air with an excited smile, which quickly fades when she realises that’s not the way to go.

“Or maybe we could just send him a late father’s day card?” She then mumbles to herself, before shaking her head rapidly. “No, not the way to go… come on, Lola!” At that moment Lola’s mom’s head comes peeping around the door.

“I’m assuming the doctor confirmed it then?” Carol asks her daughter carefully to which Lola nods in response. “Oh God… Lola!” Carol complains, pushing the door open to reveal her brother Clay and little half-sister Quinn standing there, as well.

“Oh my God! My sister is having a baby with Louis Tomlinson! Oh my God! This means you’re getting married, so I’m gonna be related to the Tommo! Ah!” Quinn yells excitedly.

“Hey! Don’t tell anyone!” Lola hisses at the thirteen year old whose excitement quickly comes to and end as she mouth an inaudible ‘oh’. “Mom… how do I tell him?” Lola sighs, running a hand through her bangs.

“You can’t plan those things, honey… just go visit him, right away, and the words will come to you. You should do it now, he deserves to know… and besides, the timing couldn’t be better… well of course it could be, like three years from now, but since this it the timing that has be chosen it is somewhat the right time. He’s home for what… three months now? You both can get acquainted with the idea of having a child and even think about the future and how you’re going to balance his career and your family.” Carol says, hugging her daughter tightly to her chest. “Oh, baby… this isn’t what I wanted for you.” Carol sniffles while stroking the back of Lola’s hair, making the young woman very uncomfortable.



The door flies open to reveal Louis, a surprised looks appears on his face when he sees his girlfriend of one year standing in front of him. “Oh… hey…” He says, confused as she slips past him.

The tension between the two is evident in the air; both are just as nervous but for different reasons. “I didn’t expect you… not that I’m not glad you came! But… I just…” Louis mumbles, searching for the words that are incredibly hard to find now that Lola is in front of him.

“I came because… I love you, okay?” Lola says as she tears up. Louis looks down at his feet as soon as she speaks the word ‘love’, unable to look her in the eyes when she speaks those three words.

“I have to tell you something…” Louis says. The sound of his rapid heartbeat towers over the sound of his voice. The chills that are slowly rolling down his spine, arms and legs are taking all of his body heat with them. A deep sigh falls from his lips as he searches for the courage to look up at the brunette. When he finally does the questioning look on her face sends an aching pain throughout his whole body. “Let’s have a seat…”

But both of their feet seem to be nailed to the ground due to the excessive amount of stress that’s weighing them both down. “Lola…” Louis starts, his voice is as shaky and unstable as the rest of his body. His trembling hand reaches out to carefully grab hers. Louis’ mouth is dry and his heart feels like it’s ready to tear his ribcage apart just to escape from his chest. “I met someone on tour.” He blurts out, still facing his feet because he’s too afraid to see Lola’s expression.

Lola’s hand slowly pulls away from his grip and moves up to his face, the young man flinches at the thought of a possible slap she may give him, but instead she carefully rubs her thumb over his cheek. “Please, look at me… if you’re saying what I think you’re saying… I can forgive you, Louis.” Her voice sounds sweet but shaky, causing the stabbing pain in Louis’ chest to worsen.

Louis carefully puts his hand over hers to feel her warm skin but doesn’t avert his eyes in her direction. “No… Lola, you don’t understand… it happened…” The man’s voice becomes shakier near the end of his sentence and breaks when he says: “Several times.”

Lola then pulls her hand from underneath Louis’ and quickly takes a step back from the man. The hormones from the pregnancy already put her on an emotional rollercoaster but this added on top of that could send her into a mental breakdown.

Louis then finally looks up at Lola, the devastated look on her face causing him more pain than he’d ever imagined. “I don’t think…” Louis mumbles, quickly looking away from the woman in front of him again. “I think… I may not love you anymore…” He whispers causing a tear to slip down Lola’s cheek. “She… makes me feel… good, in a way.”

Lola quickly makes her way to the door, as she holds the doorknob she turns around to face the broken man in front of her one more time. “This means you don’t want to be with me anymore, right?” Lola asks, trying to hold back the tears as Louis looks up at her. He doesn’t speak a word but simply blinks before letting his head hang low again. “It’s okay, Louis… I love you enough to…” Lola swallows her tears before continuing. “I love you enough to let you go…” Her voice is high-pitched by the end of the sentence due to the sobs that are trying to escape her throat.

Lola quickly slips out of the door; she closes it behind her and just slides down against it. Lola is hugging her knees tightly to her chest with her face buried in them when the tears start falling and the sobs start escaping.

Behind the door Louis’ hand is resting on the doorknob, unsure of whether or not he should try and talk to Lola again. Her sobs sound through the glass door and every time she catches for air, it feels as if another knife is added to his chest.

He was so certain of his decision until she was standing right there in front of him. He had forgotten how beautiful she was; he had forgotten how perfectly their hands fit together. Confusion is building up inside of him. Everything that seemed so right five minutes ago seems the exact opposite now that he’s hearing her cries.



A deep sigh falls from Louis’ lips as he sits down across from his best friend. “So you told her?” Harry asks to which Louis can only nod, speaking about it would make it too real and Louis is afraid that if this ending becomes any more real, the pain will get worse too. “How did she react?”

Louis looks up at his best friend and shrugs. “She told me that… she loved me enough to let me go… and left… and I heard her cry at the door… but I couldn’t do anything about it, because she was crying because of me.” Louis mumbles his voice is as shaky as his hand that is currently trying to bring a beer up to his lips.

Harry’s mouth slightly drops after hearing what Lola’s response was. “Wow…” He mumbles, looking at his friend in shock. “That’s… that is fucking love, man.”